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How do I handle this situation with BM? :(

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:15 PM
  • 11 Replies

So, here is what happened. I get home from work today, DH is waiting for me. SS is at BM Tuesday nights - Sunday mornings. He tells me that BM texted him saying SS, who is 2 1/2 yrs, said that "mommy is yucky" and  that DH and I are the ones who said that. Without hesitation, she texts DH flipping out asking him why we would say that, what kind of negative enviornment do we provide for him, etc.

After an incredibly long day at work, coming home to this is just the icing on the cake. I know I can say a million times I have never said that, but it doesn't make a difference. We truly do not say negative things about BM. Actually, "WE" never discuss BM negatively. If BM is ever brought up, it's my DH that is pissed about something and just talking while I listen. I just listen, no opinion is given. That's not a place for my opinion or input.

I am contemplating whether or not I should reach out to BM on this situation. I just don't know if it is something that will help, or make things worse. Any tips? Suggestions? I already have the wine out so bring on the advice! Thanks :)

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
step7
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:19 PM
I always stay out of it and let dh handle it. Bm has tried to call me when she and dh get in a fight and I never pick up. It's best to not get involved...in my opinion.
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PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:21 PM
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I would not reach out to BM on this one. It sounds like shes being a bit dramatic and I wouldn't feed into it. 2.5 year olds say odd things sometimes. Personally, I would let it go on your end. DH should probably (if he hasn't already) simply say "that didn't come from us" and then let it be. Its a silly thing to make into a big deal. Sounds like she is fishing for something...

packermomof2
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:42 PM

Stay out of it.

My ex and his family told the custody evaluator that our youngest kid had started calling him a butthead and that it was all. my. fault.  He was in daycare, his sister was in school... but it was all my fault that the kid called HIM a butthead when I wasn't around, didn't know about it, and I stopped it when I heard him using that word at my house.  

I said nothing to my ex about it at all.

dfamily
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:56 PM
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Not nowing the history of the relationship you and DH share with her.

My opinion would be to ignore it.

Its trivial. 

Just discuss it with DH and drink your wine and smile.

pinkielola
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:18 PM
Stay out he needs to handle her.
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WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:27 PM
Ignore. not only is she not your problem but it will piss her off for you to give her no reaction
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whinemeetswine
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:54 PM
Majority rules, pleading the fifth on this one. Thanks for the advice!
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EmilyJ604
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:35 PM

lol hes 2 kids say stuff like that all the time she needs to grow up....Im so sure you are going to use the word icky while describing her lol sounds to me like she just wants to start drama

JustaSM231
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:09 PM
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I wouldn't touch it with a 20 foot pole!! Stay out of it.  Let DH handle it, that's his responsibility.  Sounds like BM may have over-reacted slightly and you are right, there is NOTHING you can say in this situation that will make a difference.  I would hope that any adult would understand that a 2 1/2 year old makes up stories, not with malicious intent, but just makes up stories using their imagination because that's what little kids do.  My niece is 2 1/2 and she drags a plaid blanket around and says that it's her police dog and his name is K9 and he does lots of tricks for dog treats.  I know she isn't intentionally trying to "lie" but is using her creativity and imagination to make up a story that entertains her.   Save yourself the headache and stay out of the middle of it and have another glass of wine!!!

Birdseed
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:55 PM

Stay out. 


Best wishes.

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