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im a control freak

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:15 PM
  • 12 Replies
Yes...I admit it. I swear I see Dh doing something stupid with ss and I'm like seriously? I wouldn't have done that! Before November I worked full time and came home to do ALL mommy/wife duties. Everything. Dh just had a free ride. Not because he made me do them...but more that he did things wrong so I took over. November was my robbery and that shook us all up. Dh started stepping up and helping out more. Yay me. I still find myself judging these petty things that wouldn't let get by but he does. Please tell me these feelings go away or at least get better lol.
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MamaMoopsie
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:52 PM

I'm one too. It didn't just pass for me. I got worse and worse and worse and I am now working on it. If I find myself following along after my husband correcting everything he does then I just bite my tongue and walk away. I have found that giving him tasks that I know he can do to my satisfaction makes us both happy. He cooks very well and he can clean the bathrooms to a fine shine and he can vacuum for me all day long and pick up the living room. You have to actively work on yourself and let things slide and then fix them later and just be happy he's trying.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:57 PM
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Honestly, I love my husband with all my heart but he sucks at being a housewife. He doesn't fold laundry correctly, I hate how he loads the dishwasher, he misses the corners when he sweeps and doesn't move the chairs when he vacuums. When he cleans the kitchen after dinner, he doesn't wipe down the stove or the cabinets and on trash day he never empties the bathroom cans. So I just do it all. What he is good at? A lot! He is really good with bathtime and bedtime with the kids. He plays really well with them and keeps them entertained when I need to get stuff done. He is really good at making breakfast and getting the kids situated while I'm showering and he is about to leave. He rocks at making coffee. And he is really wonderful at loving me. Even my controlling bitchy side.
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Lslk
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:10 AM

I learned from an early age that if I want something done I just do it myself. This has set me up to become the control freak that I am. I don't like SO doing ANY of the house work and I am a little old fashioned in this sence as well. I still think the man should at least take out the trash. Since my daughter is a little older now I have been teaching her how to "take care of the house".  This has helped me loosen up a little bit. I am still a big control freak but I am working on it. However, because I am a control freak my SO does not help unless I specifically ask for it. I try not to get upset with him about since I am the one that created his behavior. I can't fault him for my short commings.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:14 AM
I am a control freak but I do corrective things rather than not let someone else do it. I really don't have the time to do everything myself so I assess and do what is most important.
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tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:08 AM
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 I am exactly the same way and territorial.   I do get annoyed when I walk in the house from work and dishes laying around.  How hard is it to stick in the dish washer?  Other than than if he does something I have to go behind and do it again so I usually dont ask.


Quoting Lslk:

I learned from an early age that if I want something done I just do it myself. This has set me up to become the control freak that I am. I don't like SO doing ANY of the house work and I am a little old fashioned in this sence as well. I still think the man should at least take out the trash. Since my daughter is a little older now I have been teaching her how to "take care of the house".  This has helped me loosen up a little bit. I am still a big control freak but I am working on it. However, because I am a control freak my SO does not help unless I specifically ask for it. I try not to get upset with him about since I am the one that created his behavior. I can't fault him for my short commings.


 

lnr187
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:50 AM

 no they don't. i always want dh to help more, but then i don't like the way he does stuff. you just have to let go a little. it's hard, i know, as im a control freak too. are there specific things that he's really good at? maybe ask him to do those specific things. also for me i just got too exhausted from doing everything, that idc how it gets done. it's decent, we're good.

KnowItAll
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:55 AM

I like to think of the chores that my kids and/or DH do as a head start for me.  They may not do it right, but at least they do some of the stuff that I would have to do, saving me some time in the end. 

Happily Married | BM to DD13  DD13  DD11 | Mom to DS7 & DS3 | CP

PezDispenser
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:58 AM

 I am the same way. It's gets overwhelming cleaning up after everyone and people always say "Just make the kids do it. Or ask your dh to help." I can't because it won't be done to my standards. I even clean the kid's rooms so it is organized the way I want it to be. When I allow them to put up clothes or clean up anything then everything is disorganized and no one can find anything.

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:43 AM

It's not sustainable to be a control freak about all things at all times.  Choose your battles to win your wars.  Seriously.

I think my biggest peeve with my husband and the kids are when they unload the dishwasher and put stuff away willy nilly with virtually zero regard to where stuff ACTUALLY goes.  OR, in the case of the pots/pans, just shoves things in rather than stacking them in a way that doesn't create an avalanche when I open the door to get a saucepan.  I find myself, whilst preparing dinner, rearranging the danged cupboards or trying in vain to find the stupid potato peeler.

BUT...they DID unload the dishwasher.  So I thank them for it and next time it's full again, they do it without me asking and I get to say thanks again!  I think that you get better and more frequent help if you thank them for their efforts.  So what if the towels or sheets aren't Martha Stewart perfect?  Or that the tall glasses are on the short glass shelf and visa versa?  

There are some things that I insist on being done to "my" standards--like cleaning the bathroom mirrors.  It's pretty easy to see if it's done right or not.  But the rest? Even if I have to re-do a bit of it, it sure is nice to have people TRYING to help out.


rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:21 PM

Some of my DH's habits have driven me crazy in the past but overtime I just learned to accept who he is an really thank him when he does something out of the oridinary but never expect it. For example, DH is extremely forgetful and can be messy at times. So I have learned to call him often to sweetly remind him of things that need to be done so that I am not nagging but I also am not dissappointed because it doesn't get done. He appreciates the reminders too because he knows he has trouble remebering things so we just made it in to a habit to stay in touch, no big deal. Also, I used to come home from work and the house was too messy for me to be able to relax and not go on a cleaning spree, and it was frustrating (he worked split shifts and was home in the afternoon). Dh knows I like a clean house but he would just get distracted and forget to pick-up before I got home. So I just began calling him immediatley after I got off work just to chat for a minute but the real purpose was to give him a heads up that I was headed home. He took the hint and began cleaning up while I drove home since it is a 40 minute commute for me. I still do most the cleaning but now at least I can come home and the kids backpacks, shoes and coats arnt laying all over downstairs and dishes throughout the house.

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