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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

I am so pissed at BM right now I am seeing red. Need to vent.

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:33 PM
  • 42 Replies

I am seeing red I am so pissed so SD birthday is coming up and SD originally told us that she was going to have a skating party with her BM.  SO thought ok I will have a home party with games and prizes and a piñata.  SO talked to BM last weekend and asked about the skating party and BM said no we aren't doing a skating party not sure what we are doing.  Today SO went and had lunch with SD and found out that BM is having the exact same party with the same guests.  BM is even having a piñata and games and prizes.  And her party is this weekend and ours is next weekend.  So the kids that go to BM party is not going to want to have the same party 2 weekends and not wanting to buy 2 gifts.  I mean it is not about presents but I can't believe that BM is being this petty and childish.  Really stealing our entire party.&nb

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AnnaNonamus
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:37 PM

Your party theme isn't exactly original. It's a pretty basic, standard style of party. Guest wise, I would say friends are invited to one party, and her relatives are invited to the parties they are related to- IE: your family and DH's family go to your party, BM's family goes to that party. Have SD decide which party she wants the friends to be at. Giving friends two invites for two parties for the same person is kind of tacky.

Overall, though? Chalk it up to a bad moment, and move on to planning her party at your home. Maybe after the party at BM's home, ask your SD if she wants to change anything about the party at your home. That way, it's too late for BM to change it because her party is already over.

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:38 PM
I'm trying to think if a logical explanation and I can't. I think you guys can cancel the party or explain to the parents that she loves in 2 homes so you'd appreciate if they can make it to both parties,if not you understand.

Can u cancel it and just have something simple? We usually or I'd think the normal thing to do is one person have the "party" and the other has a small party. IMO. That's what we do. 2 parties seems like too much. How old is sd?
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CaileighsMom608
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:41 PM

I say cancel the party and use the money all on the SD buy her something BM cant afford.  May be childish but its nice to one up them once in a while

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:45 PM
I'd change it also. Keep the party supplies for another kids. Not that our wrong but I would do it bc 2 parties would be hard bc I know a lot of parents who don't have the incomes and time to do 2. Sorry:(

I'd change it is my final answer. BM 2?3?years ago I think said she wasn't having anything for yss. So I planned something,invited a little bit of friends and mostly family over. I asked 3 times so I could step back if so. BM said its fine do something,she isn't. Ect. I'm a nerd and like kids parties so I did one(I did it also bc skids were going through some hard times w BM). BM decided to take SS that damn day and I was home w a piñata,kids,pizzas,and cake and no SS :(. It's HER right of course but I wouldn't have done anything if I knew I'd have a party w no b day boy. I cried. That's when I had to step back a re examine that if she does something,cool,but if she didn't oh well also.

What does sd say? Does she think its weird.
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JustaSM231
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:45 PM

Did you have a previous post about this about a skate party by BM that ended up turning into a sleepover instead of a skate party after SD wanted BF to come to the party and then BM refused to let BF come to the party?  I read so many I can't remember, but this situation sounds familiar. 

I can see how this situation would be seriously frustrating, but perhaps you can let the kids coming to your second party know that presents are not required, but you would love to have them come celebrate SD's birthday.   If the weather is going to be nice, have the kids play some fun games outside or change the venue to a park and everyone can play there?  Or simply cancel the big party and have your own special family only party?  Sorry you are going through this.  It would be nice if you could do a joint party together so everyone could celebrate, but I know all situations aren't ideal and sometime that's difficult to do.  We usually do a joint party with BM and her family because it's what the kids want.  It's not the most comfortable situation to be in, but we do it for the kids. 

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:46 PM
Lmbo. A party usually does run in the 100's though. Lol.

Quoting CaileighsMom608:

I say cancel the party and use the money all on the SD buy her something BM cant afford.  May be childish but its nice to one up them once in a while

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CaileighsMom608
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:47 PM
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Spoil the girl and piss off the BM all at the same time...Sounds like a good day to me

Quoting Steamedpuddle30:

Lmbo. A party usually does run in the 100's though. Lol.

Quoting CaileighsMom608:

I say cancel the party and use the money all on the SD buy her something BM cant afford.  May be childish but its nice to one up them once in a while


leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:48 PM
2 moms liked this

Cancel your party, do a trip or some other special activity for SD and maybe her best friend.

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:50 PM
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You posted about this issue a few days ago.  As a parent I advised you NOT to take the word of a child regarding the party plans, and in speaking to BM you were informed she was uncertain to the party plans.  You wanted to be pissed that BM wasn't going to invite you and your boyfriend to her party.  Now you are pissed because BM is throwing her child a party.  Typically, children's parties a dime a dozen and all pretty typical.  Games, cake, pinatas, etc.  Standard fare for the birthday party of a child.  You just want a reason to be pissed at BM, to feel justified in you anger; and again - you are not.  BM has every right to throw whatever type of party she wants for her child on her time.  You KNEW the kids from school were already going to be invited to BM's party - you stated as much in your earlier post.  YOu just WANT to be mad and to that end are looking for zebras in a herd of horses.  STOP LOOKING for reasons to be mad at BM.  It will destroy your personal well being.  

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:07 PM
OP:This is what is do, personally. Sucks but I think I'd cancel and do things differently next year. :/

Quoting leegirl_jm:

Cancel your party, do a trip or some other special activity for SD and maybe her best friend.

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