Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

I am so pissed at BM right now I am seeing red. Need to vent.

Posted by   + Show Post

I am seeing red I am so pissed so SD birthday is coming up and SD originally told us that she was going to have a skating party with her BM.  SO thought ok I will have a home party with games and prizes and a piñata.  SO talked to BM last weekend and asked about the skating party and BM said no we aren't doing a skating party not sure what we are doing.  Today SO went and had lunch with SD and found out that BM is having the exact same party with the same guests.  BM is even having a piñata and games and prizes.  And her party is this weekend and ours is next weekend.  So the kids that go to BM party is not going to want to have the same party 2 weekends and not wanting to buy 2 gifts.  I mean it is not about presents but I can't believe that BM is being this petty and childish.  Really stealing our entire party.&nb

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:33 PM
Replies (11-20):
Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:09 PM
Oooooooo. Sorry OP,if this is true, I think I'd really stick to only one parent having the b day party for friends and the other(which would be me let's say) would be family or low key.


@loo-hey! My slumber party ideas are always original. :)jk.


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

You posted about this issue a few days ago.  As a parent I advised you NOT to take the word of a child regarding the party plans, and in speaking to BM you were informed she was uncertain to the party plans.  You wanted to be pissed that BM wasn't going to invite you and your boyfriend to her party.  Now you are pissed because BM is throwing her child a party.  Typically, children's parties a dime a dozen and all pretty typical.  Games, cake, pinatas, etc.  Standard fare for the birthday party of a child.  You just want a reason to be pissed at BM, to feel justified in you anger; and again - you are not.  BM has every right to throw whatever type of party she wants for her child on her time.  You KNEW the kids from school were already going to be invited to BM's party - you stated as much in your earlier post.  YOu just WANT to be mad and to that end are looking for zebras in a herd of horses.  STOP LOOKING for reasons to be mad at BM.  It will destroy your personal well being.  

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TJandKarasMom
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:01 PM
When I responded to your other post I figured different friends or family. I honestly would be really annoyed if one of my kids was invited to two parties for one child. We can hardly afford one decent gift for a kid, never mind two, and my kid won't be the kid showing up with no present, so we would have to figure it out, or my kid would only go to one of the parties.

I think it's rather ridiculous for a child to have two parties with exactly the same people. You are setting a precedent here. So when she wants a sweet 16 party, with 50 guests at a hall, catered, etc etc...she will talk you and BM into doing it so she will get two. Anytime she wants two of something, she will know how to get it.

I think if you and SO want to throw her a celebration with your families and maybe a couple of her friends that couldn't go to her other party, then that makes sense. But to invite all the same friends to two parties two weekends in a row? I think that's over doing it. And I really think you are setting SD up to know how to take advantage and be spoiled.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:03 PM

Fine.  Let BM do it.  You guys do something nice and quiet. 

It's about the kiddo.  Not our party planning ability. :)

JLS2388
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:09 PM

It's not YOUR party, it's your SDD's party. Her mom has every right to throw her whatever party she wants and it's not like you were being really original about the party, it seems like a pretty standard home party. Is she the CP? Most of the time, the CP does the main birthday with the friends and the CP's side of the family and the NCP does a smaller party with their side of the family and their friends, unless the parents both want to do the party together. Either way, inviting friends to 2 different parties may come off as  kind of rude, it may seem like you are just wanting more gifts for her. To be honest, most of her friends will probably go to the first party and not come to the one at your house. 

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this. From what I remember BM had told you (or DH or whoever) she was having a skating party and then you and DH decided to have a party, too. And skating parties usually involve kids, so that's a no brainer. I would have planned something without kids (or different kids) at that point.

What I would suggest in the future, maybe have DH talk to BM about every other year you can switch who throws the party with the kids from school. Two parties with kids is a little much and like another mom said, few children will attend two parties for the same child. I think you could still do something great with SD this year and I bet you will find a way to celebrate her birthday in a joyful way. In the meantime, I wouldn't fret about what BM does or doesn't do, there's no reason to let this eat away at you. :) I hope your day gets a little better.

Quoting LyndaLoo78:

You posted about this issue a few days ago.  As a parent I advised you NOT to take the word of a child regarding the party plans, and in speaking to BM you were informed she was uncertain to the party plans.  You wanted to be pissed that BM wasn't going to invite you and your boyfriend to her party.  Now you are pissed because BM is throwing her child a party.  Typically, children's parties a dime a dozen and all pretty typical.  Games, cake, pinatas, etc.  Standard fare for the birthday party of a child.  You just want a reason to be pissed at BM, to feel justified in you anger; and again - you are not.  BM has every right to throw whatever type of party she wants for her child on her time.  You KNEW the kids from school were already going to be invited to BM's party - you stated as much in your earlier post.  YOu just WANT to be mad and to that end are looking for zebras in a herd of horses.  STOP LOOKING for reasons to be mad at BM.  It will destroy your personal well being.  


 

rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:15 PM
2 moms liked this

I may be a little annoyed but then I would just be happy I don't have to put on a party, I find it to be a hassle. I would honestly just cancel your party and take SD out for a fun activity with your family, it will probably be more fun for you anyeay and SD get to do something different rather than two bday parties.

liltigersmom
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 6:37 PM
So do something else with her, like take her and a friend out, or do another activity.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't really know how ex does parties for Dd but he usually does not invite her friends from school. I know she has had parties at his home but the kids that come are generally the neighbors and kids that are friends with her stepsister that are the same age as dd. they also invite the Girl Scout troop since she is in GS at their home. Dd invites her friends at school to our parties. I 'assume' bc she lives here, these are her friends when she is at my home, I know most of the parents since I'm active at the school. I don't invite these kids from school just to piss my ex off. We invite them bc we know them and they are 'over here', where the school is. (He only lives 20 minutes) but he isn't active at school and friends from school don't go to dad's to spend the night. The mom's don't hang out with dad at the school like they do me. It's not that she can't have these same friends at dad's it is just that they are more like her friends over here. And she has friends 'over there'.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:34 PM
I have to share this story lol

When we first divorced we agreed on one party. It was very close to the divorce date so it was technically the first party after we divorced. Well at the last minute my ex and now SM decided they didn't want to share a party. They wanted their own party. Well I had already invited all of her class (kindergarten) and they had already RSVPd. Well i start getting calls from parents asking about this other party and what to do!? Several mom's said, it seems like y'all are just trying to split the kid. Like she is two different people and ignore that the other parent is already having a party. Well yes. As a matter of fact that is what it was. My ex didn't want to attend 'my' party that originally started out as 'our' party. And then he wanted to just act like it was the only party and that all these parents were going to spend two different weekends on one child. Well their party was canceled because no one could make it. They came to 'my' party. No actually, they attended dd's party. People really thought it was crazy and I heard a lot of the 'I am so glad I'm not divorced' stuff.

Quoting JLS2388:

It's not YOUR party, it's your SDD's party. Her mom has every right to throw her whatever party she wants and it's not like you were being really original about the party, it seems like a pretty standard home party. Is she the CP? Most of the time, the CP does the main birthday with the friends and the CP's side of the family and the NCP does a smaller party with their side of the family and their friends, unless the parents both want to do the party together. Either way, inviting friends to 2 different parties may come off as  kind of rude, it may seem like you are just wanting more gifts for her. To be honest, most of her friends will probably go to the first party and not come to the one at your house. 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:35 PM

how could she have possibly known you were planning a pinata party?

Wouldnt the guests be the same anyway?

Maybe SD doesn't need to parties after all? 

I'm confused as to why you think BM did this on purpose.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN