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I am so pissed at BM right now I am seeing red. Need to vent.

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I am seeing red I am so pissed so SD birthday is coming up and SD originally told us that she was going to have a skating party with her BM.  SO thought ok I will have a home party with games and prizes and a piñata.  SO talked to BM last weekend and asked about the skating party and BM said no we aren't doing a skating party not sure what we are doing.  Today SO went and had lunch with SD and found out that BM is having the exact same party with the same guests.  BM is even having a piñata and games and prizes.  And her party is this weekend and ours is next weekend.  So the kids that go to BM party is not going to want to have the same party 2 weekends and not wanting to buy 2 gifts.  I mean it is not about presents but I can't believe that BM is being this petty and childish.  Really stealing our entire party.&nb

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:33 PM
Replies (41-42):
TJandKarasMom
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:35 PM

Chances are if a guy is putting himself in that position, then there is something off about him.  My DH doesn't even like SD having kids spend the night here too often..and would never have it if I wasn't home.  He just wouldn't put himself in a situation like that.

SD had a friend call a couple weeks ago and I talked to her dad, he was all for her spending the night or SD spending the night there..I was like uh, maybe we should meet first. lol, I'm so uncomfortable with it. 

I would definitely be having talks with DD about all of that stuff....I would worry about sending her with BF.


Quoting minimoo:

Yep. That was my thought when dd told me about it. Bf is very creepy anyways and very sexual. He was coed to not be present for his brothers visitation w his baby dd BC bf made many inappropriate comments and actions (calling her sexy, asking to look at her "muffin" among other things- this was during a supervised visit). He also raped me as well as a 15 yo. He is not a safe person to send your child to.

She has slept over at other people's houses before, but ONLY if I know the parents really well. We've had more sleep overs here though. Again, the parents know me, know dh and know we are safe. I did talk to dd about how that was not safe and she should never go spend the night w a stranger (my thought is if he doesn't see how wrong it was of him to even ask, what's stopping him from doing the same with my child and he's impossible to reason with- if I brought up the creepiness factor and tell him it's not right, sure enough, dd will be spending the night w a stranger the next weekend just so he can "prove" he's in control). I told her that if any strange man asks her to spend the night w him, she needs to either call me or the police BC that's not OK. They might be innocent, but most people understand that's not ok


Quoting TJandKarasMom:

OMG!!  My SD still hasn't slept anywhere because sleeping at other people's houses where we hardly know the parents creeps me out, lol.  I could never meet a random guy at the grocery store and let my child stand with him in line, nevermind sleep over his house!  That poor little girl.

And even for your ex to offer that to some random kid, that's creepy.  So many levels of wrong in this story I can't get over it.


Quoting minimoo:

She's ridiculous lol. Yeah, I just don't worry about it anymore. It bothered me BC it bothered dd. I throw the party dd wants here. Her friends all come. She has fun. That's what is important. Dd has learned that when sm says something, she's probably embellishing and it's not true. She also understands that you can't invite people to a party they already went to the weekend before, 2hours away, 3 days before the party. Oh I forgot about the year, bf and sm met a random girl the night before her first "sleepover party" there at the grocery store. She was about dd's age. So bf invited her for the sleepover the next night. Her dad said "sure, I've got stuff I want to do" (translation, most likely drugs knowing the area he lives in and who the hell sends their 7 yo dd to spend the night w a strange man you just met at the grocery store!) That was the only year dd had a "friend" at her party there. She said it was weird. Bf and sm couldn't even remember her name the whole night. And the girl felt uncomfortable and kept telling dd "you dad creeps me out and your sm is just weird!" I guess he gets an A for effort when he realized sm once again could not recruit friends, but epic fail for pure creepiness. And that dad definitely does not get father of the year.





Quoting TJandKarasMom:

How has she not figured it out yet? lol, idiot.

I can't imagine even if BM had custody that we would have a whole other party here after BM and invite the kids from where BM was living when she lived in state (90 min away).  And if my kids were invited to a party 2 hours away after already going to that kid's party here in town, they wouldn't make it to the next party unless for some reason we were closer to that other family.  But typically, we know the custodial family through school or ec's, so why would we go to the noncustodial family so far away?  No wonder no one goes to that party, but that stinks for your DD if SM is telling her everyone is coming.

At least you aren't the only one that sees her crazy.  lol, she is on the email list?  DSs BF isn't even on the email list, I can't imagine his SM would want to be.  She can hardly admit BF has a child that's not hers, nevermind be involved in DSs school life at all.




Quoting minimoo:

This is an issue every year w sm. She always waits to find out what party I throw, then tries to throw the same one the next weekend, but "bigger and better." The first year, we had about 20 kids come to our house. We invited 10 "non school" friends and told her she could invite 15 kids from class (she had 30 kids in her class, we did it at our house so 40 kids plus parents would have been way too much). Sm sent out an email to all the parents in her class (minus me, of course) "I know SOME of you were already invited to a party by Moo last weekend, but I, her 'real' mom, am inviting EVERYONE!" I was a little pissed about that. That put dd in an awkward position of "hmm, why didn't you invite ME to your party." I had 7 people forward me the email, tell me how tacky and wrong that was, and "I'm sorry you have to deal with her. She's a nut!" She also lived 2 hours away. She told dd that everyone was coming so dd was excited. Nobody showed up. I felt so bad for dd. Every single year. I do a sleepover, sm invites the same kids. Nobody comes. I'm waiting for her to realize that if she did it before, more people might come, but then again, all of dd's friend's parents have come to know sm as the resident loon through her crazy antics and emails over the years- they don't want their children around her.








Quoting TJandKarasMom:

When I responded to your other post I figured different friends or family. I honestly would be really annoyed if one of my kids was invited to two parties for one child. We can hardly afford one decent gift for a kid, never mind two, and my kid won't be the kid showing up with no present, so we would have to figure it out, or my kid would only go to one of the parties.







I think it's rather ridiculous for a child to have two parties with exactly the same people. You are setting a precedent here. So when she wants a sweet 16 party, with 50 guests at a hall, catered, etc etc...she will talk you and BM into doing it so she will get two. Anytime she wants two of something, she will know how to get it.







I think if you and SO want to throw her a celebration with your families and maybe a couple of her friends that couldn't go to her other party, then that makes sense. But to invite all the same friends to two parties two weekends in a row? I think that's over doing it. And I really think you are setting SD up to know how to take advantage and be spoiled.















minimoo
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:47 PM
Yeah. The only people we've done sleep overs with are ones we know really well. I never thought about the perception with dh, but I'm always home, so it's never been an issue. ODD has one friend that I won't let go to her house. Her mom told me her dh is abusive. I talked to her and told her I'm totally fine w friend coming here, but BC of the violent situation, I don't want dd going there. She understands and said she feels better BC she gets embarrassed if he has an outburst when people are over. I'm sure friend.likes having a chance to get away from that too, poor thing


Quoting TJandKarasMom:

Chances are if a guy is putting himself in that position, then there is something off about him.  My DH doesn't even like SD having kids spend the night here too often..and would never have it if I wasn't home.  He just wouldn't put himself in a situation like that.

SD had a friend call a couple weeks ago and I talked to her dad, he was all for her spending the night or SD spending the night there..I was like uh, maybe we should meet first. lol, I'm so uncomfortable with it. 

I would definitely be having talks with DD about all of that stuff....I would worry about sending her with BF.



Quoting minimoo:

Yep. That was my thought when dd told me about it. Bf is very creepy anyways and very sexual. He was coed to not be present for his brothers visitation w his baby dd BC bf made many inappropriate comments and actions (calling her sexy, asking to look at her "muffin" among other things- this was during a supervised visit). He also raped me as well as a 15 yo. He is not a safe person to send your child to.



She has slept over at other people's houses before, but ONLY if I know the parents really well. We've had more sleep overs here though. Again, the parents know me, know dh and know we are safe. I did talk to dd about how that was not safe and she should never go spend the night w a stranger (my thought is if he doesn't see how wrong it was of him to even ask, what's stopping him from doing the same with my child and he's impossible to reason with- if I brought up the creepiness factor and tell him it's not right, sure enough, dd will be spending the night w a stranger the next weekend just so he can "prove" he's in control). I told her that if any strange man asks her to spend the night w him, she needs to either call me or the police BC that's not OK. They might be innocent, but most people understand that's not ok





Quoting TJandKarasMom:

OMG!!  My SD still hasn't slept anywhere because sleeping at other people's houses where we hardly know the parents creeps me out, lol.  I could never meet a random guy at the grocery store and let my child stand with him in line, nevermind sleep over his house!  That poor little girl.

And even for your ex to offer that to some random kid, that's creepy.  So many levels of wrong in this story I can't get over it.



Quoting minimoo:

She's ridiculous lol. Yeah, I just don't worry about it anymore. It bothered me BC it bothered dd. I throw the party dd wants here. Her friends all come. She has fun. That's what is important. Dd has learned that when sm says something, she's probably embellishing and it's not true. She also understands that you can't invite people to a party they already went to the weekend before, 2hours away, 3 days before the party. Oh I forgot about the year, bf and sm met a random girl the night before her first "sleepover party" there at the grocery store. She was about dd's age. So bf invited her for the sleepover the next night. Her dad said "sure, I've got stuff I want to do" (translation, most likely drugs knowing the area he lives in and who the hell sends their 7 yo dd to spend the night w a strange man you just met at the grocery store!) That was the only year dd had a "friend" at her party there. She said it was weird. Bf and sm couldn't even remember her name the whole night. And the girl felt uncomfortable and kept telling dd "you dad creeps me out and your sm is just weird!" I guess he gets an A for effort when he realized sm once again could not recruit friends, but epic fail for pure creepiness. And that dad definitely does not get father of the year.








Quoting TJandKarasMom:

How has she not figured it out yet? lol, idiot.

I can't imagine even if BM had custody that we would have a whole other party here after BM and invite the kids from where BM was living when she lived in state (90 min away).  And if my kids were invited to a party 2 hours away after already going to that kid's party here in town, they wouldn't make it to the next party unless for some reason we were closer to that other family.  But typically, we know the custodial family through school or ec's, so why would we go to the noncustodial family so far away?  No wonder no one goes to that party, but that stinks for your DD if SM is telling her everyone is coming.

At least you aren't the only one that sees her crazy.  lol, she is on the email list?  DSs BF isn't even on the email list, I can't imagine his SM would want to be.  She can hardly admit BF has a child that's not hers, nevermind be involved in DSs school life at all.





Quoting minimoo:

This is an issue every year w sm. She always waits to find out what party I throw, then tries to throw the same one the next weekend, but "bigger and better." The first year, we had about 20 kids come to our house. We invited 10 "non school" friends and told her she could invite 15 kids from class (she had 30 kids in her class, we did it at our house so 40 kids plus parents would have been way too much). Sm sent out an email to all the parents in her class (minus me, of course) "I know SOME of you were already invited to a party by Moo last weekend, but I, her 'real' mom, am inviting EVERYONE!" I was a little pissed about that. That put dd in an awkward position of "hmm, why didn't you invite ME to your party." I had 7 people forward me the email, tell me how tacky and wrong that was, and "I'm sorry you have to deal with her. She's a nut!" She also lived 2 hours away. She told dd that everyone was coming so dd was excited. Nobody showed up. I felt so bad for dd. Every single year. I do a sleepover, sm invites the same kids. Nobody comes. I'm waiting for her to realize that if she did it before, more people might come, but then again, all of dd's friend's parents have come to know sm as the resident loon through her crazy antics and emails over the years- they don't want their children around her.











Quoting TJandKarasMom:

When I responded to your other post I figured different friends or family. I honestly would be really annoyed if one of my kids was invited to two parties for one child. We can hardly afford one decent gift for a kid, never mind two, and my kid won't be the kid showing up with no present, so we would have to figure it out, or my kid would only go to one of the parties.









I think it's rather ridiculous for a child to have two parties with exactly the same people. You are setting a precedent here. So when she wants a sweet 16 party, with 50 guests at a hall, catered, etc etc...she will talk you and BM into doing it so she will get two. Anytime she wants two of something, she will know how to get it.









I think if you and SO want to throw her a celebration with your families and maybe a couple of her friends that couldn't go to her other party, then that makes sense. But to invite all the same friends to two parties two weekends in a row? I think that's over doing it. And I really think you are setting SD up to know how to take advantage and be spoiled.






















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