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mixed feelings?

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:46 AM
  • 25 Replies
So i have some mixed emotions towards SS. Anyone else feel that way? Or am i the only one. Its hard because i have no kids of my own.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sassy711
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:55 AM

Mixed feelings are typical when dealing with kids - even your own.  You may consider giving us some more details such as his age, what situation you're dealing with right now etc.  It isn't easy with kids, I suggest looking at what's typical behavior for the age vs. what isn't.  Also try to keep in mind the big picture and not sweat the small stuff.  Finally I recommend alot of patience!  Good luck

pinkielola
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Well hes 19 months his BM is a whack job it seems like when i cant ignore her stupidity is when i feel annoyed. She never has SS so that makes it hard for me and DH to get some us time or go socialize with other adults. I feel very foolish for having mixed stuff. I resent BM for trapping hetself to DH for a lifetime.
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ejsmom4604
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:27 AM
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It seems like you resent the situation more than your SS. Especially if BM is not in SS's life at all. But those feelings are common even with bio-kids. I have felt that way because all you want to do is "escape" and have some fun with people your own age. The first two years of a childs life are usually the hardest. My suggestion is if you know someone you and DH really trust (family or friends) see if they would be willing to babysit for a few hours so y'all can go out to dinner with some friends. If you are thinking party at a club...nope that is gone for a bit. 

Quoting pinkielola:

Well hes 19 months his BM is a whack job it seems like when i cant ignore her stupidity is when i feel annoyed. She never has SS so that makes it hard for me and DH to get some us time or go socialize with other adults. I feel very foolish for having mixed stuff. I resent BM for trapping hetself to DH for a lifetime.


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pinkielola
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM
She uses SS to get foodstamps and social security. Im glad im not the only person to have mixed feelings.
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DDDaysh
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:11 PM
Is there a custody order?

Quoting pinkielola:

She uses SS to get foodstamps and social security. Im glad im not the only person to have mixed feelings.
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packermomof2
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:15 PM

not getting "us time" is no reason to have problems with a kid.

I have my kids 100% of the time and my husband and I work opposite shifts.  But we make it work.  You have to make it work if you want the relationship to work out and find ways to get time together.

pinkielola
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:17 PM
No custody order.
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RMCmata
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:22 PM
I don't think its really about having a problem with the kids. But being overwhelmed and not being able to escape or get a break can cause resentment..


Quoting packermomof2:

not getting "us time" is no reason to have problems with a kid.

I have my kids 100% of the time and my husband and I work opposite shifts.  But we make it work.  You have to make it work if you want the relationship to work out and find ways to get time together.


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packermomof2
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:31 PM



Quoting RMCmata:

I don't think its really about having a problem with the kids. But being overwhelmed and not being able to escape or get a break can cause resentment..

Outside of school hours (when I work as well during those hours, but I'm around children the whole day) I am with my kids.  I go to the gym, they're there.  I go to the store, I take them.  I used to leave them alone for a few mintues, but they've taken to trying to kill each other 15-17 hours of the day so I prefer them not do that while I'm not around to save them from each other.
My husband works until 10 pm. 
We have no time.  He doesn't resent my kids or the situation.  It is what it is.  We make it work.  You have no choice but to do that if you want a relationship to work and life gets in the way.
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MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:34 PM
There ishis first issue. Secondly when you have kids you make it work. Get a sitter if you need to, make time. That is how it is with small children. What does her recieving pa have to do with you having mixed feelings towards her child? It is a nonissue.


Quoting pinkielola:

No custody order.

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