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can I share legal custody

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:42 AM
  • 82 Replies
Dh has sole legal custody of sd. I was wondering if he could grant me partial legal custody without bms promission. I'm not trying to start a fight with anyone on here I have my own reasons for asking this.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:45 AM
I am not aware of anywhere allowing a 3rd party having 'custody' per say. In some places you can be appointed a legal guardian, but those are few. In my state, no, the other parents rights would have to be terminated and an adoption take place.
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leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

It depends on what you need legal custody for, as a parent, your husband can authorize you to do a number of things on his behalf for his child, as he is sole custodian, there isn't really anyone to challenge him on what he allows you to do.

If BM is still around and is able to care for her child, you still should be careful, custody can change (rarely but it can happen).

tottaxi
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:07 PM

Short answer:  No.

DDDaysh
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM
No, he cannot. He can give you permission to make certain decisions, but that does not equate to custody.

Even were it possible for him to grant you partial custody, it would have to go through court. As long as BM still has parental rights, any court case involving custody if her daughter would require her to be legally notified.
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Doodle39
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:43 PM

My brother legally adopted his step daughter.  His wife, the child's mother had sole custody.  The father was not inviolved for a number of years.  They had to make reasonable attempts to notify the father inorder for to allow him to contest the adotion.  After a set period of time where the biological father did not respond, they were able to proceed with the adotion.  

kristinbugg
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:31 PM
This is an absurd question. No, DH cannot give custody of the children to someone else without BM's consent. Why would he need to? Anything that needs done which requires custody of the child should be done by one of the child's PARENTS, not Dad's wife.
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angelmommy2806
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:34 PM
Besides having a power of attorney I don't think so.
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ramita
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:37 PM

It depends on the state and the custody agreement. Talking to a lawyer is your best bet, but I do know that if he puts you in his will to get the child(ren) it will put you in a position to get the kids if something happens to him.  In some states and custody cases, a step parent (or even a grandparent, aunt/uncle) can get guardianship of the child, but usually there as to be some pretty outstanding situations to have this granted.  Trust me I feel the same way. I know my ss bm does not need to have her kids full time again.  She just can't handle having them, but she has not come to terms with this and probably never will because of her mental issues (but that's a different story).  All I can do is wish you luck!!!

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:49 PM
No iin sure three stories are probably similar cuz they sound that way so far.


Quoting ramita:

It depends on the state and the custody agreement. Talking to a lawyer is your best bet, but I do know that if he puts you in his will to get the child(ren) it will put you in a position to get the kids if something happens to him.  In some states and custody cases, a step parent (or even a grandparent, aunt/uncle) can get guardianship of the child, but usually there as to be some pretty outstanding situations to have this granted.  Trust me I feel the same way. I know my ss bm does not need to have her kids full time again.  She just can't handle having them, but she has not come to terms with this and probably never will because of her mental issues (but that's a different story).  All I can do is wish you luck!!!


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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:58 PM
You can do an adoption but mom would have to agree and terminate her rights.
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