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can I share legal custody

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Dh has sole legal custody of sd. I was wondering if he could grant me partial legal custody without bms promission. I'm not trying to start a fight with anyone on here I have my own reasons for asking this.
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:42 AM
Replies (81-82):
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:28 PM
Exactly what I said.

Quoting kristinbugg:

Your point?

Quoting Troubleswife:


The statistics for police officers speak for themselves. They have some of highest rates (above other careers) in terms of affairs and divorces as well as suicide.

If you want to smack someone upside the head with reality be sure to be willing to face the cold hard truth with the civil service (police and fire dept.)

I know. I was 15 years with a fireman. Both departments gives a lot of flexibility. Some jobs do not have a lot of flexibility and they require some hob nobbing with higher ups. It's the reality when the unemployment rates are high and you do not have a union to back you or a government job.

Your post have lost their credibility since you can't seem to relate real life and keep your stubbornness in check.

Quoting kristinbugg:

Thanks for proving my point

I have a strong suspicion that you are projecting issues from your own marriage onto me. Tell me, how long has your DH been cheating? How many times has it happened in the past?

You also seem to have an unnatural hatred for law enforcement. I wonder if you or someone close to you has had issues with criminal activity.

I'm sorry that you obviously don't have a happy marriage and that your DH has made you his unpaid nanny. I pity your SCs, as their father is not capable of taking care of his obligations to them. If your family is doing so badly that your DH cannot afford to leave work for an emergency for his child, then you should rethink that whole "SAHM" thing and use those degrees you claim to have. That is, if you can find an employer that accepts degrees from the University of Pheonix. apparently didn't learn much during your studies, because your punctuation, grammar and spelling is absolutely atrocious. Yet you claim to have an education degree....

Anyway, I'm truly sorry that you have such a miserable life. I, however, do not. We live very comfortably, both DH & I are educated and are able to work in professions we love and SDs have everything they want and need.

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

And the only thing you have to come back with when I tell you how 'law enforcment' spends their working hours here was that I am dense???

Faithful husband that is actually working every second of his shift? Riiiight!

Quoting kristinbugg:

That's the only thing you have to come back with? To infer that my DH must be cheating in me because he actually did what a parent does and rushed to his child's side during a medical emergency?

Two college degrees? Riiiiight. Maybe from the University of Pheonix and Devry.

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

Either that or your poor unknowing soul, really has no idea what your DH is doing at work, and therefore are very gullible.

Quoting kristinbugg:

Then you, poor misguided soul, are very dense.

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

Whenever, no. 

But the mojority of the time, yes.

Quoting kristinbugg:

Really? So you think it's easy for DH to just leave his job whenever he likes?

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

Hey I never did or will say that all emergency personal are losers who sit around all day.

I was simply responding to you since you were stating what DH line of work was. Law enforcment or not it does not make your DH any better than anyone elses, and it certainly does not make it any harder to get to the ED in the event of an emergency. In fact in most cases it is easier for emergance personal to got to the ED than someone working a diffrent job.

Quoting kristinbugg:

Really? I suppose with that attitude, if someone ever breaks in your home, robs you or assaults you, you shouldn't bother to call the police or any other protective force, since they MUST all be inept losers who sit around and eat junk food. I'll make sure to let DH know that that's what he is the next time he risks HIS life to ensure the safety of others. I'm pretty sure the elderly lady who was stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire appreciated my DH's assistance when he: 1) called someone to bring a new tire because she didn't have a spare 2) paid for the tire and put it on the car for her because she didn't have any money. Yes, DH sure is a loser who doesn't know how to do his job.

Loving my SDs goes without saying. Why would I do all that I do if I DIDN'T love them and think they are the most amazing people in the universe?

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

Wow, all that and not once did you say you loved your SK, plenty of talk about $ tho. I guess $ buys love???

Uh, yeah sorry you DH had to leave the donout shop to come to the ER. Since he's already in a car and on the RD I really don't see that being a prob for him. I mean God I know a State Trooper who sits at her families house for hours having coffee and who has used her car as a whore house while she got laid in the back seat both while she was on duty! And she would tell us stories about how they are all like that and they all just do what ever they want until they get a call. So if you think that by bringing up tons of money and the fact that your DH is a Sheriff makes you look any better it doesn't. In fact it just makes it look worse.

Quoting kristinbugg:

Yes, you're totally correct. I resent and hate my SDs so much that I am currently in the process of adopting them so they can inherit money from MY family. The money will enable them to attend college debt free, have the wedding of their dreams (if that's what they desire), buy their first homes and still have enough to live quite well on. I also pay for ALL of the costs of SDs' private school tuition, drive them the 45 minutes to school each day and pay close to $750 EACH MONTH for their ECs. I do all of the above because my singular goal in life is to make their lives as miserable as I can. You've discovered my evil plot. Foiled again!

Aside from that, there have been MANY instances where SDs were I'll or needed DH and he's made arrangements to leave work (he works for the county sheriff's office as a policeman) to take his children to the doctor or whatever appointment they have. Last year ODSD broke her arm while playing outside. I called DH, who was in the middle of a 12 hour shift and he met us at the ER. So yes, it can be done. Fathers can actually take responsibility and parent their children WITHOUT the interference of SM. Hard to believe, I know.

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

Oh okay so if he is at work and the kids are home with me since I am a SAHM, and one of the kids need medical care, I'll either call him and have him leave work and lose our only source of income or tell the kids to 'tough it out' and wait until Dad gets home. Or when they need something done or signed at school and Dad is at work, again sorry wait for Dad or you don't get it. 

Thanks your advice was spot on ... pht.

You may treat your SK's like shit and let them know that they are not really your kids and not a part of your 'real' family, but that's not how we operate! If BM were in the pic I would gladly step out and not be a 'Mom'. But if I do that now my 'sons' would not have a Mom and I will not do that to them!!

To me you sound like either a bitter SM who doesn't even like and resents her SK's or a bitter BM that hates SM for being nice to your kids ... or maybe both!

Good luck with your cold heart! 


Quoting kristinbugg:

No. If Dad has custody, then HE needs to parent his children. Anything that needs done which requires custody should be done by Dad.

Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

Because sometimes, like in our case, BM is no where to be found most of the time, is in jail the other times, and has not seen or spoken to the kids in years leaving SM for all intentional reasosn to be the 'real' mom.

Quoting kristinbugg:

This is an absurd question. No, DH cannot give custody of the children to someone else without BM's consent. Why would he need to? Anything that needs done which requires custody of the child should be done by one of the child's PARENTS, not Dad's wife.

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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:29 AM
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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