I posted about jealousies before and now I am having one of those moments again and I just hate feeling this way. Bm called me today to ask me to drive by one of the houses she is interested in buying to look at the neighborhood and outside. A little backstory, she lives in another state right now but plans to move very close to us this spring. BM's parents are helping them buy a house somehow otherwise they really wouldn't have been able to afford to move here. Anyway, she told me today the price range she is looking at because she wants my assistance since I already know this area. Her price range is about the same as ours was when we bought a house two years ago and I am very happy with the house we got. The only thing is I began to feel envious of the fact that she is just going to be moving into my area and possibly getting an even nicer house then we have on her parents buck and just changing our dynamics and the routine we have with the kids. I am not sure if it's the house that I care about so much as the seeming invasion of personal space. I know it is not my choice and she has every right to move here, it just feels weird I guess. On top of it, BM and Dh do not have jobs here yet and her DH is planning to go to school and live off of his pension but that will not be enough to contribute to the kids expenses and so that will proabably be left to us while BM just gets to pick and choose her involvement. Trust me, I know as much as anyone I shouldn't be worried about all this ridiculousness but I just cannot seem to stop caring.
On the positive side, we will save money on travel expenses and the kids will be able to see there mom more. I think part of my problem is I feel like if BM moves here I am going to want to disengage a little or at least step back from being so involved in the kids day-to-day lives to give more room for BM to come in. As much as I want to do that for everyone's sake I think it is going to be a tough adjustment for me, and maybe even a little painful. I fear that BM will want me to be involved when it conveineces her and when I am taking a financial burden off of her. Also my SD11 likes to play the "one-upper" game comparing her BM and SF with Dh and I and the things we have/buy/do, she likes to rub in the other parents face and compare which parent is "better" by those standards. I think that will piss me off the most. Dh is completely not thrilled about her moving here, and he is hoping somehow she decides to move a little further away.