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What would you do? - Update

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:38 PM
  • 61 Replies
We cannot do anything legally right now. Maybe get another lawyer's opinion but..



So here it is



BM isn't exactly a stellar mom. On top of that, she is trying to be more of a "friend" to her kids than a parent.



Homeworks are boring, they play instead. Reading? Let's just skip it.



They go to bed at 8-9 on SCHOOL nights (they are only 6&8) and no bedtime on weekends because she likes to sleep in in the morning.



This friday when they came home, sd6 told her dad "finally we are home" he asked why do you say it that way? She said "i am so sick of always being tired when we are at mom's house. We always go to bed late and I am always tired"



What would you do with that? I mean legally there is nothing to be done as she only has poor parenting skills, they are not threatened.



Discuss it with her is not an option, as she does not consider df's opinion on parenting. Her motto is do what you want your week and i will manage mine as I want.



So what can be done?

Update: apparently I wasn't clear about the school situation. Yes, both teachers have contacted df about lack of concentration, tiredness and late assignments. Both have mentionned it has been more obvious since the holidays.

For those of you whose children function well on little sleep, I understand. My dd can go through the day with less than 6h of sleep. My skids, on the other hand, are big sleepers and get super cranky on less than 10h. So no, going to bed at 9pm on school night is not appropriate for them.

Was I looking for a rope to hang bm from? Definitely not.

Was I hoping for some wise words we could tell them to help them be more confident and speak for themselves? Yes.

Nope, didn't get that either.

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by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
catherine_b
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:47 PM
Bump
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packermomof2
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:50 PM

My daughter didn't go to bed earlier than 10 at that age.  Just not a sleeper.  Still doesn't at nearly 12. 

I don't make my kids read either.  I prefer they do it for fun and not because the school mandates they have  x number of points.  I tell my kids that their homework is their responsibility, I'm already out of elem. school/jr. high.  I tell them once and if they don't do it?  it's on them.  I've held that attitude since they started homework.  As they got older I backed off of reminding them more and more. 

newwife1
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:56 PM

If the kids told her at 7 they were tired and want to go sleep would she tell them no?

8 or 9 doesn't seem all that late to me, but maybe they are kids who need more sleep.Sounds like they are old enough to voice that to their mother and let her know they want to go sleep.

newwife1
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:57 PM



Quoting packermomof2:

My daughter didn't go to bed earlier than 10 at that age.  Just not a sleeper.  Still doesn't at nearly 12. 

I don't make my kids read either.  I prefer they do it for fun and not because the school mandates they have  x number of points.  I tell my kids that their homework is their responsibility, I'm already out of elem. school/jr. high.  I tell them once and if they don't do it?  it's on them.  I've held that attitude since they started homework.  As they got older I backed off of reminding them more and more. 

Oh my God, I actually did something right!

SS used to try to get me to do his homework or at least ask me for all the answers. My answer to him was always, "I've already passed fifth grade, you need to figure it out and do your own work".



chanizen
by Platinum Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:58 PM
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My daughter went to bed 8-9 on school nights at the age of 6 and didn't have a set bedtime on Fridays. Since she was able to easily get up in the morning.... And was getting 9-10 hours of sleep and was perfectly healthy, I fail to see the issue.

I don't get the problem....
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AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:59 PM

 8 or 9 isn't that late for that age.  My 5 year old goes to bed at 8/815 most nights except Weds when she has an EC that doesn't get out until 8.

Has your DH tried talked to Mom about them complaining about being tired? 

 

GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:02 PM
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What is wrong with 8-9 to go to bed? My kids have no "bedtime". They just go to bed when they feel like it. DS is 10, he goes to bed on his home about 9:30 most nights. DD goes to bed between 10-11.

If SD is so tired can't she just go to bed?
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AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:02 PM

 

Quoting newwife1:

 

 

Quoting packermomof2:

My daughter didn't go to bed earlier than 10 at that age.  Just not a sleeper.  Still doesn't at nearly 12. 

I don't make my kids read either.  I prefer they do it for fun and not because the school mandates they have  x number of points.  I tell my kids that their homework is their responsibility, I'm already out of elem. school/jr. high.  I tell them once and if they don't do it?  it's on them.  I've held that attitude since they started homework.  As they got older I backed off of reminding them more and more. 

Oh my God, I actually did something right!

SS used to try to get me to do his homework or at least ask me for all the answers. My answer to him was always, "I've already passed fifth grade, you need to figure it out and do your own work".

 

 

 I was the same way when SD was younger.  She'd want help with her homework which was fine because she did struggle a bit with reading comprehension so I'd help her figure out what she needed to do only if she read me the questions.  It used to make her mad because "Mom and Grandma and everyone else just read it to me!"  Sorry chica... I already passed 2nd grade.  :)

andie646c
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:03 PM
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Does mom jump up and down and play loud music preventing sleep?

Why doesn't the child take herself to bed if she is so tired ... 

catherine_b
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:05 PM
I get that all kids are different. Skids are BIG sleepers. They are usually yawning by 8 on weekends and easily sleep till 10am. Sd even took a 3 hour nap yesterday. She kept crying how tired she was.

As for the homeworks. No, we are not doing the homeworks for them. One is in kindergarten and the other in 3rd grade. They are both kids who NEED to study in order to succeed and learn well.

Sd is late in learning the letters because she never does them with her mom. She is gettin behind fast, her teacher recently warned us.
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