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SHAME ON YOU IF.......

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:04 PM
  • 50 Replies

I really dont understand why a bm would be so nasty to a sm who has done nothing...EVER! ..To derserve the disrespect that she throws at her.

Yes I am talking about my skids bm. She is going out of her way to disrespect me and making it a very uncomfortable situation for me and the kids. I have never said anything to her, never looked at her sour. And dont even mention her in the presence of her kids. I am %100 percent involved in the childrens lives and have never wanted to replace her for any reason. She's a mean and hateful women. And does nothing but make the her childs lives difficult. She try's to break me by putting me down and bulling me into tears. She can kiss my butt because I wont break and I will be here, And thank god I am because otherwise her daughter would be going thru life without a women to help her. And her son would be torn between being with his mom and missing his dad. She is only making it easier for the kids to hate her. Shame on her and everyother women who plays games with their childrens lives and emotions. MOve on and leave it be. YOUR ENGAGED FOR CHRIST SAKE> we are married and no matter what you do you will not change things......

ugh......thank you....just needed to vent. Its been one dramatic weekend and I dont have anywhere  else to vent my frustrations. Thanks.......lol

by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jojojack
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:54 AM

 hugs

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:44 AM

Hmm... I bet there is more to this story.

so apparently your husband has custody? and mom is not involved at all (since without you, they wouldn't have "a woman to help them?")

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:48 AM

This type of situation does make it difficult and/or uncomfortable for the children, I don't know why as a parent, some can't see that.

Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:50 AM
2 moms liked this
In her eyes, you HAVE done something. Whether or not that something actually is a real problem, is irrelevant. Whether or not she imagined the something is irrelevant. Whether or not that something would matter to anyone but BM is irrelevant. For whatever reason, she is ticked off. Accept it and move on.

The only thing you can change is your reaction to it. You decide whether or not it affects your day. You decide whether or not to let the crazy in.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:21 AM

I don't think it's irrelevant if that "something" is actually a real problem, and not something that BM imagined.

If the OP really did do something legitimate to piss BM off, wouldn't that be very relevant?


Quoting HopesNDreams:

In her eyes, you HAVE done something. Whether or not that something actually is a real problem, is irrelevant. Whether or not she imagined the something is irrelevant. 


HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes, but going from OP's view, she 'didn't do anything' and her view of what BM was upset about would likely be that it wasn't 'anything'. My guess is that BM is upset about something she finds very important. It doesn't change the fact that, from her point of view, OP isnt going to change what BM finds offensive and can only change her reaction to BM.



For example, I get annoyed with SM in my situation because she constantly yells at my son and refuses to learn anything about his diagnosis. In her view, I coddle him, let him get away with everything, and need to change. This makes me angry. Since SM sees nothing wrong with her actions, she isn't going to change. She will also continue to annoy me. She can only change her reaction to my annoyance. The unfortunate side effect is that DS continues to suffer.



My alternate advice to OP would be that she is clearly doing something to annoy BM and she should find out what it is. However, as I said, OP doesn't seem open to that.


Quoting whatIknownow:

I don't think it's irrelevant if that "something" is actually a real problem, and not something that BM imagined.

If the OP really did do something legitimate to piss BM off, wouldn't that be very relevant?




Quoting HopesNDreams:

In her eyes, you HAVE done something. Whether or not that something actually is a real problem, is irrelevant. Whether or not she imagined the something is irrelevant. 



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this

 I am %100 percent involved in the childrens lives and have never wanted to replace her for any reason

I will be here, And thank god I am because otherwise her daughter would be going thru life without a women to help her

I am willing to go out on a limb here, and say that thinking and saying things like this might have something to do with the problem. I'm not pretending to know your situation but I say there has to be more to the story. 

From this post I gather that your DH is CP?

And by 100% involved-- school, doctor appointments, important decisions for the kids?  Because if that's what you mean... then any woman would be pissed at another woman for butting in to those things with their children.  It's not your (general you... a SM with a BM around) place.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Here's something to consider.

All CSMs who are "100% involved in the children's lives" and who are acting in the capacity of "a woman to help [the kids]" are replacing mom in some way.  You can't say you don't want to replace her, and then in the next breath say "thank god I am because otherwise her daughter would be going through life without a woman to help her." That shows you do know you are replacing her.

If you think Mom has an issue with another woman replacing her in her daughter's upbringing, then you do know why she resents you. 

Now, how exactly is BM going "out of her way to disrespect" you? And do you go out of your way to give BM respect?


Quoting angirose:

I am %100 percent involved in the childrens lives and have never wanted to replace her for any reason. .......I will be here, And thank god I am because otherwise her daughter would be going thru life without a women to help her. And her son would be torn between being with his mom and missing his dad. 

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:22 AM


I just posted pretty much the same thing!

Quoting AmericanDream:

 I am %100 percent involved in the childrens lives and have never wanted to replace her for any reason

I will be here, And thank god I am because otherwise her daughter would be going thru life without a women to help her

I am willing to go out on a limb here, and say that thinking and saying things like this might have something to do with the problem. I'm not pretending to know your situation but I say there has to be more to the story. 

From this post I gather that your DH is CP?

And by 100% involved-- school, doctor appointments, important decisions for the kids?  Because if that's what you mean... then any woman would be pissed at another woman for butting in to those things with their children.  It's not your (general you... a SM with a BM around) place.



Audreesmommy757
by New Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:49 AM
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i would be pissed too if another women claimed to be involved 100% in my childs life...as a bm i would never allow another women to even try to be either and i would resent you...you need to stop trying to be mom and be the step mom

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