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BM lied to SS about Child protective services.

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:02 AM
  • 11 Replies

So I called on BM back when we first saw the boys after she had kept them from us for 5 months. The caseworker who was supposed to handle the case got sick and it took them forever to assign the case to some one else. So it took them TWO months to get someone to check on them. The caseworker called her first and she in turn scared the boys. The caseworker contacts her first and she tells the boys that if they talk to the caseworker about the bruising they would go to a foster home. She also told them a story about a little boy who was being raped and abused by his parents and was taken away but died when he went to a foster home. So they said they were being treated fine and she left. And now whenever there is something going on their mom is telling them that the lady is going to take them away and put them in foster care. I didn't think she could get more pitiful. It is just so sad. Thanks for listening.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Miss-tearious
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:05 AM
That's really horrible, I'm sorry :(
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WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:06 AM

It's crazy what some people are willing to do.  BM used to tell the kids if they told us how bad it was in her home then she would kill herself in front of them.

ajanejr
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:55 AM

 

Quoting WifeyC:

It's crazy what some people are willing to do.  BM used to tell the kids if they told us how bad it was in her home then she would kill herself in front of them.

 Wow...sorry :(

catherine_b
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Sorry to hear that.

Bm has done something similar recently by telling the skids that daddy's friends (referring to the police) are not nice and will take them away in their sleep and away to a house with no food or windows. Crazy I know..but now they are scared of every police car they see on the street.

We just try to make them confident police officers (just like cps) are positive people who only want to help. Maybe thi is a conversation your dh could have with them?
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tazlover01
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:01 PM

There is actually a woman at our church who fosters children so I introduced them to her and they already new some of her foster children because they are in sunday school with them. The problem now is that we aren't going to be able to get them to a case worker out again. We keep hearing from them and the police that since the case is in court they really can't do anything. It's just ridiculous.  

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:20 PM

How do you know BM told these stories to the boys?

Don't you think caseworkers are used to abused children telling them everything is fine? I am sure most abused children say this. No kids want to be taken away from their parents.

gma12.1
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:44 PM

 CPS calling first is the most assinine thing that I've ever heard. They did that with my sd and she had enough warning to do whatever she had to in order to make them leaver her alone then she went right back to her drugs & parties & neglect of the kids. Only 1 time out of the many many times that she had been reported did CPS show up unannounced and still closed the report as unfounded even tho the kids had been left alone with the sex offender sd was living with. His parole officer said he was NOT to be around the kids at all even if sd was there he was NOT to be there with the kids there. SD has made the youngest so scared of the paramedics and firemen that when the paramedics have showed up here, (lo has life threatening condition), she becomes hysterical. I know how sad, frustrating & angry it can make a person. I wish you the best of luck in the whole thing. Having the kids exposed to the foster kids and foster mother is probably the best thing you can do. Would you be able to take your sk's to her house for like a play date so that the sk's can see that the house is just a house it isn't a big windowless building?

tazlover01
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:28 PM

 Saturday night I went to check on my YSS(8) because he hadn't gotten in the shower yet. He was crying because he had to go back to go back to BM's on Sunday he was again saying that he didn't like what was going on there and he was being mistreated. i then asked him if a woman had come to see them and asked them any questions. His response, "yes, but my mom said not say anything about the abuse i meaning brusing because they would take me, my brother and our little sister and put us in a foster home. And she told us about this little boy named "jaden" that was around before we were. And his parents used to rape and beat him but he died at the foster home. So I told her that we got spanked but not about the bad stuff." When the social worker called me she stated that BM told her that DH was harassing her. The case worker said she didn't see any signs of it on her end after she checked which she hadn't before she went. She also asked me what meals the children had been missing. So I explained what I had been told, which was they would skip 1 or two meals a day. She says during the week? My response is no, we didn't see them from May 30th when she picked them up for a visit and we didn't see them until the court reordered visitation in Nov . The order giving DH custody was written poorly and BM got a lawyer after she took the boys and he bullied my husband until we got a lawyer 2 months later. The judge then wouldn't make any orders until meditation. Well when Late Oct.(BM's lawyer said mediation was set for the 24th)  rolls around the judge has to make an order because wow still no mediation and DH now has visitation and today still no mediation. This time it's supposed to happen in March. But back to the original story I had to explain that they weren't eating as they should when we didn't have them. We have them EOWE but BM told the caseworker that we have them EW. Of courfse she also didn't mention the 5 months we didn't see them. So with what she was told she assumed I was calling to try and use DCFS (our CPS) to help make our case for custody. It wasn't until she spoke to me that I believe she started to think something was wrong. I'm hoping that went in her report. INMO the caseworker was in and out when the house wasn't a complete wreck and the children didn't look dirty and bruised. She took BM's word over the boys and didn't do a thorogh investigation.

Quoting whatIknownow:

How do you know BM told these stories to the boys?

Don't you think caseworkers are used to abused children telling them everything is fine? I am sure most abused children say this. No kids want to be taken away from their parents.


 

tazlover01
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:33 PM

 I'm sorry your SD is going through that. They aren't supposed to call first they are just supposed to go. But they are overworked and trying to cut corners but it's at the childrens expense. That's a good idea to do a play date. I'll see if we can set something up.


Quoting gma12.1:

 CPS calling first is the most assinine thing that I've ever heard. They did that with my sd and she had enough warning to do whatever she had to in order to make them leaver her alone then she went right back to her drugs & parties & neglect of the kids. Only 1 time out of the many many times that she had been reported did CPS show up unannounced and still closed the report as unfounded even tho the kids had been left alone with the sex offender sd was living with. His parole officer said he was NOT to be around the kids at all even if sd was there he was NOT to be there with the kids there. SD has made the youngest so scared of the paramedics and firemen that when the paramedics have showed up here, (lo has life threatening condition), she becomes hysterical. I know how sad, frustrating & angry it can make a person. I wish you the best of luck in the whole thing. Having the kids exposed to the foster kids and foster mother is probably the best thing you can do. Would you be able to take your sk's to her house for like a play date so that the sk's can see that the house is just a house it isn't a big windowless building?


 

lnr187
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:19 PM

 omg that is so incedibly sad. what kills me is that she KNOWS something is wrong and that her kids will be taken... why would you even want to keep them then?! can you explain to the boys that this is not true, that they can live with you and be safe and happy? poor boys :(

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