Thanks for all the replies and advice. And I'm taking it. I have a great relationship with Victoria. After she got over the "I'm not the only child" reaction, she actually asked me if she can call me "mom" too. We love each other very much and that's all that really matters. Can't please everyone and I'm not gonna try.
So here's my backstory....my DF's baby mom ran off and married his best friend and he had no contact with his daughter for 2 1/2 years. He just found them about 2 years ago and she'll be 8 in May. BM and I have never met or spoken. She basically told my DF that she would not keep her daughter around her husband if he kept her away from me. Again, we've never met or spoken. So, he agreed with the notion that she is just getting to know him again and to add to that would be too much. I agreed. Well, that lasted about 6 months until his daughter spilled the beans that they are all living together. Oh yeah, we live in Atlanta, they live in Utah. So I've met his daughter many times now, she and I get along great. Now I am expecting a boy with my DF. When we told her during her visit with us to DF's mom's house, she was upset at first but then came around, all within a 24hr period.
So, here's my problem. BM texted DF that this past Christmas trip to his mom's house was for him, his daughter, his mom and her husband only. "Tell her (meaning me) politely to leave. Victoria (his daughter) is the priority." I'm like first of all, this is his mom's house not yours and I am welcomed there. 2nd of all, who are you to tell us what to do with our trip. Third, I am not a child to be sent away, I am a grown woman that does not have to abide by your wants. And fourth, I have always treated Victoria with only love and kindness. She is a priority to me.
I felt so disrespected. DF texted back, "no, my mom and victoria like her." I feel like he should not even have to explain that they like me. Just leave it as NO. Also, now she won't let her call her brother her brother. She's only allowed to say half-brother. Now, I know that they are half-siblings literally, but the way it is said seems like a more derogatory dig instead.
I want to tell this b*tch that I am not to be disrespected or treated this way. So for those of you with experience, is this the time to introduce myself and make my feelings known, or do I do like DF says to do and just ignore her.