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how do you handle this?

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:36 PM
  • 7 Replies

 so SO, ss9, ss4 and i went to the store staurday. mind you, he had already bought ALL the kids, mine included, chips from the store.

we are at the store and SO went with ss9 to the coinstar. ss4 was with me in the check out and demanded gummi worms. i told him i wasnt getting them, ask dad. because dad usually gives in to avoid a fit, and i dont approve of this, but it aint my kid so he can handle that. well, ss4 starts to open it so i took it from him and put it behind the register and sent him to dad.

dad told him he could have them but he had to give me his dollar. so i got them and asked for his dollar. he got all butt hurt that i took his dollar. dad told him to be quiet, he wanted the worms and got them.

i dont like the whole thing period. but its his kid so i let him deal w it his way. when we go to the store alone i tell him before we go in he isnt getting anything, if im not planning to get him anything.

 
        
         

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:36 PM
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Replies (1-7):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:40 PM

 also, ss4 always wants to play w ss9's kindle. when i have them alone i tell him to ask ss9 because its his, and im not goint to MAKE him share it. ss9 usually says ok but if he says no i tell ss9 to play it away from ss4. SO always tries to make ss9 share. ss4 sometimes throws a fit if he doesnt get his way and SO will give him a spank but then later tells ss9 to share. i dont like that but again, his kids.

well ss4 freakin dropped the damn thing and shattered the screen this weekend. i told SO that ss9 shouldnt have to share w ss4 but he said "it was an accident" i wouldnt care! not my money going into that thing though so he can worry about it.

Lslk
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:43 PM

I always tell my kids before going into the store that I am not buying anything like that, I am here for whatever. This seems to help a lot.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:47 PM

 i know, thats what i do but if dad is with us he always gives in, thus this behavior.

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:02 PM

If SS got the worms using his own dollar, then it shouldn't been too big a deal.  Four isn't too young to start learning that you can't have both the dollar and the candy.  I rarely buy my SKs anything when I'm out but often give them the option to bring their own money.  My SS was 4 when he bawled big crocodile tears at Walmart because he didn't have enough money for the toy he wanted, and we were discouraging him from from merely looking for something he could afford.  By the time we left though,  he'd picked out what he wanted and was all smiles knowing exactly what he needed to do to get it... and he did get it a couple weeks later after earning the extra (albeit slightly overpaid for small chores to help him reach his goal, lol). 

But the fits... no.  Throwing a fit is the surest way to guarantee you won't get it in this household.  Fits at the grocery store with me will be handled by daddy at home.  He doesn't joke about that stuff.  The mention of his name is usually enough to stop whining in its tracks.  We don't make SD share her electronics because SS isn't careful.  He's not allowed to even touch my stuff.  "Accidentally" dropping and shattering a kindle would not go over well.  I can't say what I'd do about it having not been in that predicament, but I'm sure DH and I could probably come up with a long-term, annoyingly tedious form of penance.  A little harder to do at 4... short attention span and less attachment to consequence and all.  

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:04 PM

 yes thats what im saying.... to me, i didnt like ss4 being defiant and trying to open it to spite me telling him to tell dad if he wanted it... i woulda told my kid you aint getting shit w that 'tude.. but hes not mine. lol. refer to dad.

Nolmy
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:13 PM

It sounds to me like you and SO need to be on the same page about things. You seem to expect more respect and obedience then SO does (I am in a very very similar situation) the thing is this, when they are with you what you say goes period. SO needs to back up what you say or else that 4 yr old openly defying you and then going to daddy to make the defiance ok is going to turn into a 14yr old doing the same thing. Talk to SO, this is where the greater issue lies; a 4yr old can be taught but only if the message is consistent.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:56 PM

 the thing is, he KNOWS i wont buy him things if i tell him im not going to and its not a problem. i didnt tell him no, i told him to ask his dad cuz i am not getting them. but the consistency thing i agree with. thats what i dont like about the whole thing.

Quoting Nolmy:

It sounds to me like you and SO need to be on the same page about things. You seem to expect more respect and obedience then SO does (I am in a very very similar situation) the thing is this, when they are with you what you say goes period. SO needs to back up what you say or else that 4 yr old openly defying you and then going to daddy to make the defiance ok is going to turn into a 14yr old doing the same thing. Talk to SO, this is where the greater issue lies; a 4yr old can be taught but only if the message is consistent.

 

 
        
         

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