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I admit I am paraniod.

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:38 PM
  • 13 Replies

I decided not to attend my Oldest SD's bridal shower.    My DH has no family at all, my OSD's are all in the wedding party and my DD was not invited.  So I will really feel out of place.    I have had the BM to my home but after a couple issues lately and knowing the history of these people I really thing a bridal Brawl wouldnt be out of the question.  I am too old to be brawling..lol      OSD was mad/upset at first but we discussed it and said she agreed and her family was crazy.  

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Sometimes you just have to make the best of a lose-lose situation. 

pepper504
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:42 PM

That sucks that BM cannot put whatever issues aside for her own child.  Especially being that OSD wanted you to be there.  Glad that OSD understands.  This is supposed to be a happy time in her life, not to be remembered as hectic and crazy due to family members and their issues.

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:08 PM
May I ask why your dd wasn't invited? You discussed it with the person who matters and she understands so your good. I would feel uncomfortable in that situation as well.
tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:14 PM

 We have only seen OSD 3 times in 2 years.  The 3 times we did see her was her asking for money for the wedding.   She is too busy at Christmas, Thanksgiving etc.   My DD is at our place all the time they just have never met yet.

 

Quoting MommySabs:

May I ask why your dd wasn't invited? You discussed it with the person who matters and she understands so your good. I would feel uncomfortable in that situation as well.

 

 

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:21 PM

 

The BM's Sister has even attacked SD's, the one we have custody of was choked by her and the BM did nothing about it. I havent met her and I really dont I want too.   I would hate for any issues to spoil her bridal shower.  

Quoting pepper504:

That sucks that BM cannot put whatever issues aside for her own child.  Especially being that OSD wanted you to be there.  Glad that OSD understands.  This is supposed to be a happy time in her life, not to be remembered as hectic and crazy due to family members and their issues.


 

SMtoSD
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:46 PM

I don't blame you for not going.  BUT I will say I would've also explained to SD that perhaps if she made a better effort to be an active member of your family that you would've been more comfortable attending the shower. 

Why was your DD not invited?


USBrit
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 4:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I went to one baby shower and one bridal shower....that was the extent of it. After that all bets were off. BM acted like I was not even in the room, speaking to everyone but me. So..........when  someone gives you a clear indication of what things will be like going forward at all and any function......why would you ever want to participate. Life is too short and we are entitled to peace, harmony and some happiness....not all the drama of a BM in a blended family. She has the honor and right to be at her own children's functions. I have the right to respect myself enough to bow out when it is that uncomfortable. Ahhhhhhhhh, love when we can all find our place and feel good about it.

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 7:20 AM

I did tell SD (bride to be) that We wouldnt be delivering Christmas gifts unless everyone made time to visit us next year.  SD still lives with BM till the wedding so we cant go there to visit they have to come to us or meet us somewhere.  I think that got our point across so I dont want to rub it in saying anything else.   SD has never met my DD because my DD is in college and SD is too busy for us except the  2 times they came to dinner to discuss the wedding.  The other time was meeting her and fiance to drop off YSD.   (I kinda was offended that the only time they did come see us was to ask for money..but I guess thats kids for ya.

shanlee42
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:52 AM

I agree it sucks that BM can't put this aside for her daughter.

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:08 PM

I just did a major life event type of thing for my SD and her BM was there and it was awful for me!  I put my feelings aside for my SD but if I could go back and do it over I would have stayed far, far away.  I agree with you to not go, but would be nice to send a gift.

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