Why I dislike the term BB and other early morning ruminations.
I have heard the debate and participated in the debate about the power, both negative and positive, of creating a nickname for BM. As an aside, I don't think I have ever heard a nickname for a SF/SM or BF. Oh lucky BMs, we get all the perks!
I personally detest "BB". As a BM myself, there is something so completely universal about it, that it simply reinforces a stereotype as opposed to communicating a personal situation that could be hellish. When someone says "BB", basically it is including me. But if someone has a fun, creative, unique nickname I don't have the same knee jerk "Who the fuck are you calling all moms bitches" reaction.
For SMs out there, do you like when you read "stepmonster"? Which isn't half as bad as bitch.
So, if you need to have a nickname, find a better one than BB. And then learn to not use it. Because while I think they can be helpful in the moment to isolate the hate and get some perspective, when you use them for years, it seems to me anyway that BM still holds power over you. She matters enough to deserve a nickname.
And I could be talking out my ass. Maybe for some of you, having a nickname for years and years is totally healthy. I just know it isn't for me.
For awhile, DH and I called BM, She Who Can't Be Named. But like Harry said, if we avoid using or saying Voldemort, we give him too much power. So now we just call BM by her name. And every now and then when she pulls some of her hateful behaviors, we fall back on the old standard.