Second time: It was a night he came home from visitation at bm's house. I grabbed his pjs and went and stood in the bathroom while he finished going potty so I could give him his clothes. He looked at me and said, "Mama, boys have little pee holes and girls have big pee holes." I was dumbfounded! I asked who told him that and he said grandpa (that's what he calls bm's grandpa who she lives with. My dad and stepdad are both Papa, so I know he wasn't talking about them.)
Then tonight, when he got home from bm's he seemed to be in a great mood. We put the kids to bed (they are sharing a room for the time being) and heard them giggling and playing around. Dh went in and told them to knock it off and go to sleep. About 20 minutes later, they were giggling again. I go in there and hear dd say "touch it". my dd is in ss's bed with her diaper off. I told her to go in the bathroom and go potty. Asked ss what dd was telling him to touch and he wouldn't answer, finally said "uhhhh the wall". I went into the bathroom and asked dd what she was telling ss to touch and she pointed right to her vagina. I had her lay down so I could put her diaper back on, and she had a pink mark on her upper leg and on the outside of her crotch. I don't know if it was from ss or if it was from her pulling on herself to tell me where her brother touched her. I don't know what to do. Dh doesn't think it's anything, but I'm not so sure. I have looked up signs of abuse and ss doesn't really fit any of it. Is he just being curious, or should we be taking him somewhere to talk to someone?
Bm claims to have been abused sexually by her grandmother, but she is a compulsive liar and drug addict, so I don't know how much I believe it. I can't see her abusing ss, but I also didn't see her turning into the heroine junky she became, either.
I'm terrified for both SS and for my DD. Is this normal curiosity stuff, or do we need to have ss see someone? I have asked him before, if anyone touches him and he said no.