Library Card

[Vicky1975]

BM (who gets SS EOWE) took him to the library and got him a libary card (without telling us in advance). Now we are unable to get SS a libary card or need to ask BM (NCP) for permission to use her card. She just told the people at the library she's the mother - no further questions asked. The librarians are aware of issues because kids go back and forth between homes, but every child is only able to get one library card.

What are your thoughts on this?

[packermomof2]

Did you expect her to ask you for the card instead?

[MommySabs]

Why can't the child then carry his library card? Just going off of knowledge of how my local library works, if he is old enough to get a library card (here 12) he is old enough to be responsible for it.

[Vicky1975]

He is almost 9, but he would not be responsible for any fines. Sharing a card would be difficult because both parents would accuse each other of returning material late, and since BM never pays for anything it would be DH who had to cover it.

I think if you only have a child 4 days a month you can just check out items using your own card instead of expecting the CP to do that. The CP usually uses the library to check out books more often, and also needs it for school projects.

[YesImMomToo]

You get a library card and let mom have the ones for the kids

[packermomof2]

The CP can use his card if it is that big of a deal to him.  Mom can get her child a library card if she wants to.

[momof2ex1]

No. My child has a library card at her dad's and one at my home. We don't have the same library. My daughter also has two season passes to six flags. One at his house. One at mine. Because it can't go back and forth it's just best she have her own at each house. My ex also didn't have to ask to obtain a birth certificate copy because he is on the birth certificate. Same with social security. The only thing he can not obtain is a passport. The only reason that he would be stopped from getting a passport is because when you apply for a passport, both parents have to sign. With the court order it specifically states that only I can obtain a passport. So they wouldn't allow him to get one. But everything else, she is his child too. I don't really have the time to fight every little thing he does like that. I don't understand why the library won't allow you to check out a book for your stepson or allow his dad to check out a book for him, if they won't allow him to have a second copy at your house. That really is silly.

[momof2ex1]

She wouldn't have given her the card. Read past posts ... She 'is' the mom because she does 'mom' things and mom doesn't.

Quoting packermomof2:

Did you expect her to ask you for the card instead?

[Two_Hearts]

I take it that the child lives with you? 

Either way i say let him have the library card at her house (its always nice to feel like you have something that is just yours at the parent's house you visit at) , and just let him use your's whenever he wants too.

If when he gets older he wants his own for a permanent basis , then you just tell him he can ask his mom for the card and hopefully she gives it to him.

But right now , the library card is a really small issue that can be fixed temporarily.

[whatIknownow]

BM is the mother, and she has the right to get the child a library card. 

does the library still require the physical card? if so, just use your own card to take books out for him. 

[whatIknownow]

It seems like "no" and "a parent can do whatever he/she wants" are the same answer in this case. So you have divided the "no's" up into two categories.