I want a baby, husband does not....anyone been here and how did it work out ?
Husband is 36, I am 30. He has a 12 year old daughter. We get her every other weekend. She is awesome, love her to pieces, but 4 days a month with her is just not enough. We are on good terms with babies Momma. Not really any drama there. We have been married for almost 6 years now. I have been thinking long and hard about us making our own baby together. I brought it up to him back in November. He made it pretty clear he wasn't interested. Just last week, i wrote him a giant email about how I want us to start our own family together. We had a long talk about it and he had only negative things to say about having a baby. He pretty much told me that it will ruin our marriage, we'll both be utterly exhausted and cranky. He said we will not have any time for each other and we will both be miserable. I do not agree with this, but he has been there, done that and I cannot really argue with him. Stepdaughter was 6 years old when i met her. He was 24 when he had her. He and baby Momma were hardly dating, they tried to stay together for the sake of the child, but ended up going their seperate ways when she was still very young.
We own our home, we both work, and are financially stable. His parents live 5 minutes away and his mom is able to babysit. Once our cars are paid for, he could stay home and be a house husband and I would keep working. We both are ok with that part of it.
I have told him that I only want to do this with him if he is on board with me. I do not want to "make him". I understand its a joint decision and we both have to want it for it to work. He says that it is a lose-lose situation because if we have a baby, he will be miserable and resent me for making him do it. And if we don't have a baby, then i will resent him for him not "allowing" me to have a baby of my own. He says he does not want to deprive me of having my own child.
The next day, he gave me the "How about we revisit this in a couple years?" He said we have time and there is no reason to rush into this. I agreed to let it go til I am 32, which is 1 year and 2 months from now.
Do you think he might come around, or do you think I am SOL ?