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Valentine's day

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:53 PM
  • 20 Replies
This will only be dh and I 2nd Valentine day together. Last year dh was living 2 hours from were he use to live so he was staying with me part of the week and ss was staying with mil on those days so it just worked out that dh and I got to spend Valentine's day just the two of us. Now that we are married ss lives with us (dh has fc). This year I planned to make both dh and ss a really nice dinner and their favorite desserts on Thursday. Now my question is am I wrong to ask dh to send ss with his bm this weekend? And no I don't think of her as our babysitter.
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by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:53 PM
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whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:02 PM

it does sound like you want BM to babysit. Not that there is anything wrong with that, necessarily.

How often does your SS go to his moms? What is the schedule

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:05 PM

I see you wrote this back in january:

"My dh has full legal and physical custody of my ss. During divorce dh asked for full custody with visitation at his discretion, bm did not contest or show up to court. This was 7 yrs ago. Ss sees bm one weekend a month. Recently bm has been asking for more time but dh doesn't want to let ss go more than the one weekend a month. I have asked dh why he doesn't give bm another weekend. He will ask ss if he wants to go see bm and ss always says no. Ss didn't want to go with bm for the holidays either. Am I wrong for pushing dh to allow bm more time with ss? Also I am worried about why ss doesn't want to see bm. Is this something I should stay out of?"

What ever happened there? Did you DH consider changing the schedule to give BM more time?

RMCmata
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:06 PM
He sees her one weekend a month. I guess it could seem that way but I could also have his regular sitter watch him but I figured if he goes with bm its a win win..... well actually not for ss. He doesn't really care to go over to bm's.
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RMCmata
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:07 PM
No, he didn't. I stopped pressing the issue because I don't want to cause conflict between dh and I


Quoting whatIknownow:

I see you wrote this back in january:

"My dh has full legal and physical custody of my ss. During divorce dh asked for full custody with visitation at his discretion, bm did not contest or show up to court. This was 7 yrs ago. Ss sees bm one weekend a month. Recently bm has been asking for more time but dh doesn't want to let ss go more than the one weekend a month. I have asked dh why he doesn't give bm another weekend. He will ask ss if he wants to go see bm and ss always says no. Ss didn't want to go with bm for the holidays either. Am I wrong for pushing dh to allow bm more time with ss? Also I am worried about why ss doesn't want to see bm. Is this something I should stay out of?"

What ever happened there? Did you DH consider changing the schedule to give BM more time?


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saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:09 PM
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You can ask but if shes got plans don't get upset.  Its part of being a CSM.  I have a romantic evening planned with my husband and stepson watching Swamp People and eating pizza.  We may just put stepson to bed early though *wink wink* :)

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:09 PM
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I don't see anything wrong with your dh offering bm this weekend. Don't be upset if she doesn't take it and opts for another weekend instead however as it could have been arranged previously.
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mom2boys664
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:09 PM
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If ss doesn't want to go, I would not ask dh to tell him to go.  Just get a sitter.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:10 PM


I think asking him to see if BM can take him that weekend kills two birds with one stone. BM gets more time with her son, and you and DH get a child-free weekend (which all couples need).

so I think it's a good idea.

Quoting RMCmata:

No, he didn't. I stopped pressing the issue because I don't want to cause conflict between dh and I


Quoting whatIknownow:

I see you wrote this back in january:

"My dh has full legal and physical custody of my ss. During divorce dh asked for full custody with visitation at his discretion, bm did not contest or show up to court. This was 7 yrs ago. Ss sees bm one weekend a month. Recently bm has been asking for more time but dh doesn't want to let ss go more than the one weekend a month. I have asked dh why he doesn't give bm another weekend. He will ask ss if he wants to go see bm and ss always says no. Ss didn't want to go with bm for the holidays either. Am I wrong for pushing dh to allow bm more time with ss? Also I am worried about why ss doesn't want to see bm. Is this something I should stay out of?"

What ever happened there? Did you DH consider changing the schedule to give BM more time?




MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:11 PM
I anticipate a lovely evening of chasing kids all hyped up on candy from their school parties lol! The boys are supposed to see their dad Thursday but I won't be surprised if he chooses not to take the evening, it would be par for the course.


Quoting saywhat2102:

You can ask but if shes got plans don't get upset.  Its part of being a CSM.  I have a romantic evening planned with my husband and stepson watching Swamp People and eating pizza.  We may just put stepson to bed early though *wink wink* :)


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RMCmata
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:17 PM
I'm going to talk to dh and if he it's good with it then all ss what he wants to do.


Quoting whatIknownow:


I think asking him to see if BM can take him that weekend kills two birds with one stone. BM gets more time with her son, and you and DH get a child-free weekend (which all couples need).

so I think it's a good idea.


Quoting RMCmata:

No, he didn't. I stopped pressing the issue because I don't want to cause conflict between dh and I





Quoting whatIknownow:

I see you wrote this back in january:

"My dh has full legal and physical custody of my ss. During divorce dh asked for full custody with visitation at his discretion, bm did not contest or show up to court. This was 7 yrs ago. Ss sees bm one weekend a month. Recently bm has been asking for more time but dh doesn't want to let ss go more than the one weekend a month. I have asked dh why he doesn't give bm another weekend. He will ask ss if he wants to go see bm and ss always says no. Ss didn't want to go with bm for the holidays either. Am I wrong for pushing dh to allow bm more time with ss? Also I am worried about why ss doesn't want to see bm. Is this something I should stay out of?"

What ever happened there? Did you DH consider changing the schedule to give BM more time?







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