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Money Matters

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:18 AM
  • 43 Replies

How do you and DH handle money matters when it comes to SK's? Do you treat them the same as your children when it comes to buying things? Why or why not?

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:23 AM
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Yes bc we are a family and that how it works
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....ClvrScn.
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:35 AM
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No. My stepdaughter has up until currently only visited 8 days a month.

Now, due to circumstances beyond anyone's control ( health matters) she will only be visiting 4 days a month

This means 1) she will not be using the items we buy for her as much as my son who lives here fulltime, so her items will be better maintained 2) she does not need as much stuff - my son needs two bedding sets, she only needs one, my son needs 7 outfits, she only needs 3 , my son needs new shoes 6 times a year, sd has a mom who buys her shoes half the time, so we only buy hers 3 times a year

Also, my husband contributes towards her financial well being at her mothers home as well as our home - my son's monies are all towards this home

I make ALOT more money than my husband and my son is my top priority. He will not do without. My stepdaughter has two parents to contribute towards her well being. Its not my sons fault that bm does not work and dh doesn't make much money

Smiley2690
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:41 AM


I feel the same way. Can I put a twist on your situation for a moment though...just to play devil's advocate. lol

What if you were a SAHM and DH still made the same amount of money. Would the kids be equal or would you feel like DH should just contribute his CS to SD and that's it?

Quoting ....ClvrScn.:

No. My stepdaughter has up until currently only visited 8 days a month.

Now, due to circumstances beyond anyone's control ( health matters) she will only be visiting 4 days a month

This means 1) she will not be using the items we buy for her as much as my son who lives here fulltime, so her items will be better maintained 2) she does not need as much stuff - my son needs two bedding sets, she only needs one, my son needs 7 outfits, she only needs 3 , my son needs new shoes 6 times a year, sd has a mom who buys her shoes half the time, so we only buy hers 3 times a year

Also, my husband contributes towards her financial well being at her mothers home as well as our home - my son's monies are all towards this home

I make ALOT more money than my husband and my son is my top priority. He will not do without. My stepdaughter has two parents to contribute towards her well being. Its not my sons fault that bm does not work and dh doesn't make much money



....ClvrScn.
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:47 AM
Quoting Smiley2690:




I couldn't be a stay at home mom. My dh doesn't even make enough to cover 40% of the bills

But if I was a stay at home mom, no I wouldn't expect dh to just contribute child support I don't expect him to just contribute child support now. I expect him to pay his child support, pay his personal bills and contribute what he can towards the home bills. Sometimes this is nothing, sometimes it's 600 a month (Max)

Dh can do as he pleases with his money as long as he's contributing to the home he lives in, the food he eats, the power he uses, the car he drives etc. I choose to spend more money on my child than he does on his child - that's up to him.


Sanctimommy
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 1:36 AM

Hubs' daughter gets more money. She is a child and my children are grown with families of their own. 

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:54 AM
DH pays CS and extras for SS, he and I both contribute towards our two children together, he spends more on our children because they live with him and he is in charge where they are concerned while with SS he has to go through BM who is irresponsible with money. I only spend on my children.
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SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:43 AM
DH is CP and I'm a SAHM, so all the kids are treated equally regarding money...mainly on an as needed basis.
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shanlee42
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:00 AM

Yes we do. I buy SS clothes, shoes, school supplies, etc. We will have a basket of his, hers, and LO's but it seems like whoever gets to the register first pays so we kind of trade off.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:17 AM

yes, my DH and I pool our money into "one pot" and we spend approximately equal amounts of all the kids (my two and his two).

An exception is college. The kids do not have equal college costs. My DS19 is much more expensive than my DD21 (who is about to graduate in May) because she got a better scholarship, and he wanted a certain program (PharmD). My SS17 will most likely be going to a state university which will be half the cost of my DS19's college.  So we dont make an effort to keep it "equal" as far as college goes, because each child needs something diffferent.

Same with EC's. My SD13 is in a very expensive dance program that costs several thousand dollars a year. My DS was in a tennis program that was also expensive. DD21 and SS17 have been real bargains on the EC front because they have always participated in fairly inexpensive ECs. We never made an effort to keep it equal; each child did whatever ECs they wanted.

But for the general stuff - birthdays, christmas, ect. we keep it pretty equal.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:28 AM

The CS BM pays goes into our bank account.  When it comes time to pay for something on one of the kids we don't divide our money in any way.  

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