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help manipulating selfish stepdau

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:03 AM
  • 172 Replies
My 10 yr old step dau doesn't want to follow house rules. Defent lies blames other threatens suicide tells the dad he always takes my side. Tells her dad everything was fine when u didn't have a girlfriend or wife. I used to get all your time. ...rules dogs outside no shoes upstairs get clothes ready for shoe the night before. She has severe anxiety issues and freaks out yells at my husband to shut up or tells him no. Makes excuses for not following rules that the other two have to follow. Causes hellious drama slames doors yells and lies. Tries to play us against each other. Says he doesn't spend enough time with her. Her biomom tries to tell him the ssame thing. We need help.
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by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:07 AM

O.o

ta5
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:08 AM
She is beyond disrespectful everytime he ask her to follow the rules. She has drama freaks out cries screams complains lies and blames others. The other morning she made me wash her hair and then freaked out that she had noth ing to wear but there were 6 clean outfits none would do she was almost late for school. Then lied to her dad said I made it all up.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:10 AM
2 moms liked this
Well... Threatening suicide would be a huge red flag for me that someone needs some therapy and NOW! You know there are 9 and 10 year olds that have followed through with their threat. I wouldn't take it lightly.

Anxiety? Another reason to seek therapy. Lying and deceitful behavior? Also another big red flag. Tell your dh to call a therapist tomorrow and get her in ASAP.

How much time does your dh spend alone with his daughter? How long have you been together? What was their home life like before you moved in? Was he lax on rules, bed time schedule, did he spend a lot of time with her and now he doesn't because he has to share his time? She may not be adjusting well to the change in family dynamics and that is ok. It can be fixed. But she needs a therapist. Does she have any learning disabilities or any mental issues like ADHD or ODD?
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:11 AM
Has she started puberty yet? Started her period? Notice any break outs on her face?

Any changes at school? Does she have any friends? Is she bullied or is she a bully?


Quoting ta5:

She is beyond disrespectful everytime he ask her to follow the rules. She has drama freaks out cries screams complains lies and blames others. The other morning she made me wash her hair and then freaked out that she had noth ing to wear but there were 6 clean outfits none would do she was almost late for school. Then lied to her dad said I made it all up.

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ta5
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:12 AM
The other night she wanted to spend the night at a friends. Refused to tell her dad who it was ..she yelled and screamed at him and said she was going to kill herself ran to her room slammed the door repeatedly pushed her dresser in front of the door. we sent her to live with her mother
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pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this

You are too nice.  Doesn't any poster just make you want to not be nice right off the bat?  People don't know how lucky they are when you reply.  You are so nice.

And I often feel like such a bitch after reading your kind replies.

Quoting momof2ex1:

Well... Threatening suicide would be a huge red flag for me that someone needs some therapy and NOW! You know there are 9 and 10 year olds that have followed through with their threat. I wouldn't take it lightly.

Anxiety? Another reason to seek therapy. Lying and deceitful behavior? Also another big red flag. Tell your dh to call a therapist tomorrow and get her in ASAP.

How much time does your dh spend alone with his daughter? How long have you been together? What was their home life like before you moved in? Was he lax on rules, bed time schedule, did he spend a lot of time with her and now he doesn't because he has to share his time? She may not be adjusting well to the change in family dynamics and that is ok. It can be fixed. But she needs a therapist. Does she have any learning disabilities or any mental issues like ADHD or ODD?



afwifeandmommy3
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:25 AM
Hmmm sent her to mom ? Nice ! If she had threatened suicide in my house id take her to the hospital
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CodeBlue
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:44 AM
Me too - all of this. I get pissy when I can't read a post because of grammatical errors. I literally closed my eyes, shook my head, and tried to read this over. Not happening.


Quoting pdxmum:

You are too nice.  Doesn't any poster just make you want to not be nice right off the bat?  People don't know how lucky they are when you reply.  You are so nice.

And I often feel like such a bitch after reading your kind replies.


Quoting momof2ex1:

Well... Threatening suicide would be a huge red flag for me that someone needs some therapy and NOW! You know there are 9 and 10 year olds that have followed through with their threat. I wouldn't take it lightly.



Anxiety? Another reason to seek therapy. Lying and deceitful behavior? Also another big red flag. Tell your dh to call a therapist tomorrow and get her in ASAP.



How much time does your dh spend alone with his daughter? How long have you been together? What was their home life like before you moved in? Was he lax on rules, bed time schedule, did he spend a lot of time with her and now he doesn't because he has to share his time? She may not be adjusting well to the change in family dynamics and that is ok. It can be fixed. But she needs a therapist. Does she have any learning disabilities or any mental issues like ADHD or ODD?





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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:48 AM
1 mom liked this
Lol thank you. And I'm usually a bitter BM. Lol maybe I'm just nice tonight. I was a little worked up earlier with Vicky ...


Quoting pdxmum:

You are too nice.  Doesn't any poster just make you want to not be nice right off the bat?  People don't know how lucky they are when you reply.  You are so nice.

And I often feel like such a bitch after reading your kind replies.


Quoting momof2ex1:

Well... Threatening suicide would be a huge red flag for me that someone needs some therapy and NOW! You know there are 9 and 10 year olds that have followed through with their threat. I wouldn't take it lightly.



Anxiety? Another reason to seek therapy. Lying and deceitful behavior? Also another big red flag. Tell your dh to call a therapist tomorrow and get her in ASAP.



How much time does your dh spend alone with his daughter? How long have you been together? What was their home life like before you moved in? Was he lax on rules, bed time schedule, did he spend a lot of time with her and now he doesn't because he has to share his time? She may not be adjusting well to the change in family dynamics and that is ok. It can be fixed. But she needs a therapist. Does she have any learning disabilities or any mental issues like ADHD or ODD?





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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:56 AM
3 moms liked this
Well it's a good thing she is with her mother now because her mother can get her the help she needs. Sounds like typical tween drama but you nor your husband know how to deal with it which is alienating her and making it worse. Kids need to feel loved and accepted. You did exactly the opposite. Sounds like she has some reason to feel the way she does. I hope for your husband sake she doesn't kill herself. That is something he will have to live with the rest of his life. He failed his child.


Quoting ta5:

The other night she wanted to spend the night at a friends. Refused to tell her dad who it was ..she yelled and screamed at him and said she was going to kill herself ran to her room slammed the door repeatedly pushed her dresser in front of the door. we sent her to live with her mother

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