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how much do u get in child support?

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:27 AM
  • 51 Replies
We just started getting it for ss. It has been coming for 2 months now.

What do u do with the money?? Does it go into a pot for just the child?. Do u pay bills?
Personally i think cs is for
Electricity
The need for a larger home, which in turn raises your taxes
Blankets, sheets, clothes
Soap, shampoo, toothpaste laundry detergent, toilet paper
Toys for friends at bday parties
Extra curricular
Water use, heat, transportation
School lunch money
Food toys school supplies
Health insurance, dental insurance, copayments
College savings, life insurance, a car eventually, gas etc.
Daycare

Then of course their are the intangibles like a custodial bio or step taking a lower paying job to be able to find daycare to meet their work schedule. Or working days rather than pms and losing the differential incentive. Or needing a minivan rather than a car because of the additional child. Wear and tare on household items because the child scratches the wall with their toys, breaks a few dishes. Stains in the carpet from accidental spills. The kid falls on the cat and the cat needs to go to the vet etc etc etc.

In this case i am sure that just adding tge child support to the regular bank account would be more reasonable.
Bm in our sitch feels that 175 permonth would cover all his expenses and we would be paying nothing.....yes i said we because that is how she puts it. She feels i have an obligation to "help" too. She is upset that she has to pay at all and im sure will eventually demand receipts. I think i will start to save them, but 90 percent of "his" things fall into regular household things or are bought with bunch of other items in which case it seems like a real pain to try to keep my more embarrassing personal items off the receipts i may want to save for her....

What do u think?
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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:40 AM
My kids dad gives me 200 every other week and if something comes up, I ask him for half. This is agreed upon, not CO. I spend it on whatever I want and he doesn't care. All my kids needs are met.
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Mrskingman
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:45 AM

dh use to pay bm 800 a month but due to recent activity where the girls had started living with us fulltime, the courts are in the process of reversing who owes who.

Now my ex pays 450 in cs to me for our son and we throw all of our money into the same bank account with our salaries and just pay for expenses. At the end of the month, anything left over goes into savings and that savings will become a lot bigger once we get cs for the girls too.

 

SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:47 AM
1 mom liked this
We don't receive any CS, yet BM believes the $76 per month she is COd is too much.

To me, regular household bills don't apply to the kids (in our situation). Anything they use (aside from food) isn't significant enough to make a difference financially.

The intangibles are part of having kids and to me, each parent should be responsible for whatever happens in their home.

Even though the NCP is expected in most cases to provide half the financials at the CPs they also have to provide all the financials when the child is with them. Its not 'fair' for either party but that is what comes with having a child live in 2 homes.
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heathercm26
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 1:01 AM
I dont think they usually pay for half of the expenses....it is based on the income of the non custodial right? Anyway of course you cant sit and count toilet paper squares and weigh the tooth paste. Plus you will never agree with the other bio on every purchase of underware and weather they are really needed but what u are getting seems extremely low. Kids eat 3 meals a day. Assuming every meal costs 3 bucks it would not even cover half lol.


Quoting SassyMom25:

We don't receive any CS, yet BM believes the $76 per month she is COd is too much.



To me, regular household bills don't apply to the kids (in our situation). Anything they use (aside from food) isn't significant enough to make a difference financially.



The intangibles are part of having kids and to me, each parent should be responsible for whatever happens in their home.



Even though the NCP is expected in most cases to provide half the financials at the CPs they also have to provide all the financials when the child is with them. Its not 'fair' for either party but that is what comes with having a child live in 2 homes.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 1:09 AM
I believe that CS is initially to pay for half of expenses if the family was still intact, even though that is practically impossible to figure.



BMs was set at her getting $500 per month from her job...which is the best job she has had in the last 7 years. The state could lower it to $50 if they wanted since BM doesn't work. The amount doesn't even cover the gas we use driving for visitation.



Quoting heathercm26:

I dont think they usually pay for half of the expenses....it is based on the income of the non custodial right? Anyway of course you cant sit and count toilet paper squares and weigh the tooth paste. Plus you will never agree with the other bio on every purchase of underware and weather they are really needed but what u are getting seems extremely low. Kids eat 3 meals a day. Assuming every meal costs 3 bucks it would not even cover half lol.




Quoting SassyMom25:

We don't receive any CS, yet BM believes the $76 per month she is COd is too much.

To me, regular household bills don't apply to the kids (in our situation). Anything they use (aside from food) isn't significant enough to make a difference financially.

The intangibles are part of having kids and to me, each parent should be responsible for whatever happens in their home.

Even though the NCP is expected in most cases to provide half the financials at the CPs they also have to provide all the financials when the child is with them. Its not 'fair' for either party but that is what comes with having a child live in 2 homes.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
heathercm26
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 1:23 AM
That amazes me that they even use the term child support at that point considering it would never "support" a child. ***scoff*** thats bs. I cant believe she is self righteous about it. Shameful.

My parents had child support set up but my dad was generous and trusting with my mom duri.g more expensive times, but it seems to be a major point of contention with so many people. I can foresee issues for us already.


Quoting SassyMom25:

I believe that CS is initially to pay for half of expenses if the family was still intact, even though that is practically impossible to figure.





BMs was set at her getting $500 per month from her job...which is the best job she has had in the last 7 years. The state could lower it to $50 if they wanted since BM doesn't work. The amount doesn't even cover the gas we use driving for visitation.






Quoting heathercm26:

I dont think they usually pay for half of the expenses....it is based on the income of the non custodial right? Anyway of course you cant sit and count toilet paper squares and weigh the tooth paste. Plus you will never agree with the other bio on every purchase of underware and weather they are really needed but what u are getting seems extremely low. Kids eat 3 meals a day. Assuming every meal costs 3 bucks it would not even cover half lol.







Quoting SassyMom25:

We don't receive any CS, yet BM believes the $76 per month she is COd is too much.



To me, regular household bills don't apply to the kids (in our situation). Anything they use (aside from food) isn't significant enough to make a difference financially.



The intangibles are part of having kids and to me, each parent should be responsible for whatever happens in their home.



Even though the NCP is expected in most cases to provide half the financials at the CPs they also have to provide all the financials when the child is with them. Its not 'fair' for either party but that is what comes with having a child live in 2 homes.




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:03 AM
I receive a lot. It's 20% of my ex's net income and I get 1/2 of the medical premiums I pay for dd to have medical insurance. He has a good job and therefore I receive a lot. For one kid. It goes in to the pot that pays for life. Everything you listed. Yes. And more. Excluding the mini van. I drive a small economical car that is really too small for my family but I paid it off today so I'm keeping her for a while. ;)

My child lives the same lifestyle she was living when her father and I were married except I am no longer a stay at home mom. I work to contribute to my family because that is necessary for our situation. And I kinda like my job. The only thing that has changed is the family and the home but dd didn't feel or suffer at all materially because of the divorce. Why should she? She didn't chose for her parents to get a divorce. So her father and I support her to give her the lifestyle that we decided to give her when he conceived her. And my ex isn't hurting. He too is living the same lifestyle. Nothing has changed except the address and the people that live in the home.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:14 AM
I'm not being snotty here but how does an NCP, not a 50/50 situation, pay for half the child's expenses? This month my child will spend 5 nights with her father. 2 of those nights begin in the evening so they aren't even full days. She does not have her own room, she shares, so the room would be there and would be used regardless of her being in his home. If they eat out 5 dinners, 4 lunches and 4 breakfasts, how is that half of her eating expense over the month? If he doesn't contribute at all to any extra curriculars or the private lessons for band that are mandatory or the cost of the flute, he is paying $0 for that expense. He is not buying any clothes for his house; according to my daughter, she doesn't even have a pair of shoes there, she has a few shirts and some panties, she has no bras, a few pairs of shorts, she has no jeans and she has a couple of pairs of pajamas. I'm not knocking him at all because I don't really don't think she needs much more than he has since she won't be there very much. They grow so fast, why should he waste his money? He has not ever provided any school supplies or a backpack. Where is he paying even close to 1/2 of the expense? In child support is where he is providing financially. And that is ok. If he had her more and she was an actual extra expense to his household then it would be different. That is just my opinion

I've never understood why people pay child support in 50/50 situations. They have the kid 50% of the time so they should be providing more. I am sure that 50/50 parents are more actively involved and whoever has the kid when yearbook dues are due or dance tuition is due is who pays it. Or whoever has the kid when they get sick pays the medial bill. But in my situation it's all on me. My parents pay more for my dd out of pocket than my ex does. He contributes through CS. And I would never dream of asking him for an extra dime. He pays his part.


Quoting SassyMom25:

We don't receive any CS, yet BM believes the $76 per month she is COd is too much.



To me, regular household bills don't apply to the kids (in our situation). Anything they use (aside from food) isn't significant enough to make a difference financially.



The intangibles are part of having kids and to me, each parent should be responsible for whatever happens in their home.



Even though the NCP is expected in most cases to provide half the financials at the CPs they also have to provide all the financials when the child is with them. Its not 'fair' for either party but that is what comes with having a child live in 2 homes.

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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:21 AM
I think it is because times are tough right now and people see that money going to someone else. CS was always an issue for my non involved dad. $250 for three kids... He always said he was paying my mom's car payment. Lol nevermind we all were well fed, had a home of our own, always had clothes that fit and whatever the newest fashion was, always were in some form of EC that wasn't cheap (I was in cheer and dance and band) my brother was in band. My sister was in other stuff as well. $250? Lol he was delusional. But it was a huge soar spot for him. He would tell us that he couldn't buy diapers for his baby because he was paying so much in CS. He wasn't even paying it. I didn't know until I was an adult and found out my parents were going to court over CS. I was like what? He still pays you? Mom told me that it was all of the arrears that he had, like $50k. He was filing to have the arrears lowered ... Well he had us fooled.


Quoting heathercm26:

That amazes me that they even use the term child support at that point considering it would never "support" a child. ***scoff*** thats bs. I cant believe she is self righteous about it. Shameful.



My parents had child support set up but my dad was generous and trusting with my mom duri.g more expensive times, but it seems to be a major point of contention with so many people. I can foresee issues for us already.




Quoting SassyMom25:

I believe that CS is initially to pay for half of expenses if the family was still intact, even though that is practically impossible to figure.







BMs was set at her getting $500 per month from her job...which is the best job she has had in the last 7 years. The state could lower it to $50 if they wanted since BM doesn't work. The amount doesn't even cover the gas we use driving for visitation.









Quoting heathercm26:

I dont think they usually pay for half of the expenses....it is based on the income of the non custodial right? Anyway of course you cant sit and count toilet paper squares and weigh the tooth paste. Plus you will never agree with the other bio on every purchase of underware and weather they are really needed but what u are getting seems extremely low. Kids eat 3 meals a day. Assuming every meal costs 3 bucks it would not even cover half lol.










Quoting SassyMom25:

We don't receive any CS, yet BM believes the $76 per month she is COd is too much.





To me, regular household bills don't apply to the kids (in our situation). Anything they use (aside from food) isn't significant enough to make a difference financially.





The intangibles are part of having kids and to me, each parent should be responsible for whatever happens in their home.





Even though the NCP is expected in most cases to provide half the financials at the CPs they also have to provide all the financials when the child is with them. Its not 'fair' for either party but that is what comes with having a child live in 2 homes.






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KLBrown
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:22 AM
1 mom liked this
I receive zero. Well, I did get 20 bucks a couple years ago.
Until he's caught up, it's not child support, it is reimbursement to me for support already provided. Because of that, I will blow it on whatever I feel like

Current CS should be used for all the child's living expenses. Yes, including housing & electric
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