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the in laws

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:38 AM
  • 14 Replies

How do your in-laws feel about you? What was their relationship like with BM? Do they like you or do they think BM should still be around? Do they respect that you are a stepparent? How long did it take for them to warm up to you?

 

It took a while for MIL to warm up to me. She’d never had a daughter and apparently, she and BM (whose mother passed away when BM was little) were really close. She was angry at DH, because she thought he should have worked everything out with BM (even though BM was the one that cheated and demanded a divorce). She spent most of her time ignoring me and if she was in a spot where she felt obligated to introduce me, she referred to me as DH’s ‘friend’ (even after a year of dating). She was very friendly with BIL’s crazy girlfriend (now ex), but was always very cool towards me. Weeks before DH proposed, he took us all out to dinner. DH left the table, hoping that MIL would talk to me without DH being present. I tried to start conversation, but she completely blew me off. When DH announced he was going to propose, MIL told him that she didn’t know anything about me and didn’t think he should marry me. DH responded that I was trying, but MIL was the one that was blowing me off and not giving me a chance.

 

About two weeks after our engagement, MIL started making an effort to talk to me and get to know me. Around that time BM started calling and threatening MIL. Now MIL feels frosty towards BM. Since we’ve gotten married, MIL has been much friendlier and nicer. We visit them a lot and every time I go over, she's very chatty and friendly. Last weekend we went on a day trip, without DH. We had a blast together!

 

FIL has always liked me. He accepted me from the very beginning. He’s very laid back and easygoing. He takes an interest in my life (my job, my school, etc), which according to DH is very unusual. DH said he also recently complimented me on how I am with SS.

 

BIL (four years older than DH) just likes that I play, and let DH play, videogames. He talks to me about his dating woes and tech related things. Even though he lives with MIL and FIL, we don't see him much. According to DH, they are seeing each other, hanging out, and getting along much more than they used to.

 

How about you guys?

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tazlover01
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:00 PM

MIL passed away before we met. FIL was cool towards me at first and when we got married fast he swore I was pregnant and trying to trap his his son.  We decided to get married in Jan and did so in March. DH's mom's side of he family thought I was pregnant also. I lost my job a week after we got married which was fuel to the fire. We got pregnant that April had DD in January She was 10 days late & FIL still swears that I was at least pregnant. But we get along now. MIL's family were cool once they figured out that we loved each other & I wanted to be with him.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:08 PM

MIL hated me for a LONG time. She hated BM even more though, LOL. MIL was actually trying to get DH back together with his ex girlfriend from high school up until about 5 years ago (keep in mind, DH and I have 3 children together as well as SD, LMFAO).

Anyways, sometime in the last year or so MIL has started being SUPER nice to be and finally likes me. FIL I assume has always liked me, he's never treated me otherwise. DH's grandparents LOVED me. They've both passed on, his grandma about a year ago and his grandpa almost 3 years ago.

DH and I have been together for 11 years. 

CometGirl
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:37 PM

My inlaws are staunch Catholics.  They do not believe in divorce nor remarriage.  They have never accepted our marriage.  They also treat DH's older children much better than they treat our child.  But it is what it is.

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:00 PM

In-laws have always, from the very beginning, been great to me and to my kids.  I'm really fortunate.  Some of this is because they saw how DH struggled in his last marriage and how he was so unhappy, and how happy he is now.  How nice to hear that!

JustaSM231
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:24 PM

MIL likes me a lot.  We talk several times a week.  MIL complains about BM all the time, especially the fact that BM owes her over $5,000 in child care (court ordered) that she has never attempted to pay, yet MIL is still friends with BM on facebook.  This confuses me.  Step FIL likes me.  He jokes around with me a lot, especially about our rival football teams!

FIL and step MIL both love me.  We hang out together and even take vactations together.  They are both still polite to BM but step MIL tells me she only has one son (DH) and one daughter (me).

MrsSufi
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:36 PM

My MIL loved me - she never liked BM so she was estatic when DH and I got together.  Most of the family was happy for dh but not overly friendly at first.  It helped that everyone was acutely aware of how much BM did not parent.  Now we have even gotten to the point where the ex-in-laws have acknowledged how much I care and do for  the stepkids.

MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:42 PM
2 moms liked this

Well, I haven't spoken to my MIL in over 2 years. It's been great! I barely have anything to do with FIL although FIL and I get along ok. I chose to have it this way over how me and my children were treated. MIL liked to try to go around what I did for SD, pissed me and DH off. He put a stop to it, but then I just chose to not have anything to do with MIL.

DH is an only child, so I don't have to deal with any of his family. Works for me. It's made it harder on my DH because he has to deal with his mom's crazy. He just tried to ignore it before I came into the picture and his ex(BM) had to deal with her. Now BM won't really have anything to do with my MIL either, so DH HAS to deal with her. He has put strict boundaries with MIL and so far it helps the situation with SD.

Sept-babies2
by Patriot's Fan on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't have any kids with dh. I have two kids and he treats them like his own. Sd is favored a lot. It is a given and i expect it. Mil treats bm(dh and her never married) like she is married to dh. Mil really irritates me. Sometimes she will come to my houset pick up sd and tell my son next time is his turn. Then she comes again and just keeps saying next time as she picks up sd. I just know it hurts my sons feelings. She never calls to talk to me but talks to bm every day. I guess you can say i am jelous. It just hurts my feelings. I always feel like my kids and i get left out. My family includes sd all the time i just wish his family wouldiclude us.
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Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:31 PM

FIL-he hates everybody. Except his grandkids. Everyone else just "sucks" in his words.

MIL and SIL-we get along. However deep down they can't stand my ass because DH is with me. They can't tolerate the fact that THEY can't control DH any longer.

NONE of them can stand BM.

DH told me when they were about to marry (as BM's walking down the aisle) FIL stood up "are you sure you wanna marry this bitch? her sister seems to be 100% better and she's not a cunt like (BM) is"

yeah......classy man let me tell you

Chibi_Kitten
by Krystal on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:32 PM

 Originally, up until August 2011, my MIL adored me. MIL, FIL and SIL all loved me and welcomed me almost as warmly and quickly as my stepsons did. In August 2011, MIL suddenly did a 180 toward me and I have been trying ever since to fix what I did wrong but it's hard because she won't talk to me and swears I'm the one who doesn't like her. FIL goes along with MIL and SIL lives 45+ minutes away so I don't see her too often, she still seems/acts the same around me though.

BM is still around and we get along great. :)

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