How do your in-laws feel about you? What was their relationship like with BM? Do they like you or do they think BM should still be around? Do they respect that you are a stepparent? How long did it take for them to warm up to you?
It took a while for MIL to warm up to me. She’d never had a daughter and apparently, she and BM (whose mother passed away when BM was little) were really close. She was angry at DH, because she thought he should have worked everything out with BM (even though BM was the one that cheated and demanded a divorce). She spent most of her time ignoring me and if she was in a spot where she felt obligated to introduce me, she referred to me as DH’s ‘friend’ (even after a year of dating). She was very friendly with BIL’s crazy girlfriend (now ex), but was always very cool towards me. Weeks before DH proposed, he took us all out to dinner. DH left the table, hoping that MIL would talk to me without DH being present. I tried to start conversation, but she completely blew me off. When DH announced he was going to propose, MIL told him that she didn’t know anything about me and didn’t think he should marry me. DH responded that I was trying, but MIL was the one that was blowing me off and not giving me a chance.
About two weeks after our engagement, MIL started making an effort to talk to me and get to know me. Around that time BM started calling and threatening MIL. Now MIL feels frosty towards BM. Since we’ve gotten married, MIL has been much friendlier and nicer. We visit them a lot and every time I go over, she's very chatty and friendly. Last weekend we went on a day trip, without DH. We had a blast together!
FIL has always liked me. He accepted me from the very beginning. He’s very laid back and easygoing. He takes an interest in my life (my job, my school, etc), which according to DH is very unusual. DH said he also recently complimented me on how I am with SS.
BIL (four years older than DH) just likes that I play, and let DH play, videogames. He talks to me about his dating woes and tech related things. Even though he lives with MIL and FIL, we don't see him much. According to DH, they are seeing each other, hanging out, and getting along much more than they used to.
How about you guys?