Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

How do you document everything?

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:51 PM
  • 33 Replies
So BM asked DH to take SS last weekend (it was her weekend) because she had plans. So we picked him up at the usual times.

How do we document that we had him?

Does it really hold up in court when SM keeps a log/journal etc?

Or does it have to be extream proof? Like taking a photo of the kids with that days news paper?



*** I'm asking in general because I was just curious about what forms of documentation is legit in the eyes of a judge. We have texts from BM proving he was with us. ***
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:51 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:56 PM

so what? what exactly are you trying to prove?

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:59 PM

 you get a dated ledger, or a dated journal. hell i do it on an outlook calendar. its not solid proof, and taking the kids for ONE of BM's weekend isnt going to do anything. its a pattern. like if you have them more than half of her time. it doesnt really count as evidence, its just a pattern you can establish. in my state a judge will consider it but in others they might not.

mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:07 PM
Nothing. I was just using that as an example. I'm just curious about what 'documentation' is good for court.


Quoting baparrot2:

so what? what exactly are you trying to prove?


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:09 PM
What about other things?

Is a ledger that SM writes up really going to impress upon a judges opinions?


Quoting faerie75:

 you get a dated ledger, or a dated journal. hell i do it on an outlook calendar. its not solid proof, and taking the kids for ONE of BM's weekend isnt going to do anything. its a pattern. like if you have them more than half of her time. it doesnt really count as evidence, its just a pattern you can establish. in my state a judge will consider it but in others they might not.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:10 PM

Why would anyone have to know that it was the SM's journal and not the Dad's own journal?

Taking a photo of the kid with a newspaper makes you look kind of sinister and creepy, like you are planning to screw BM somehow, just because she offered Dad the opportunity for more time with his child instead of finding another sitter.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:11 PM

Impress a judges' opinions about what?


Quoting mouthyhousewife:

What about other things?

Is a ledger that SM writes up really going to impress upon a judges opinions?


Quoting faerie75:

 you get a dated ledger, or a dated journal. hell i do it on an outlook calendar. its not solid proof, and taking the kids for ONE of BM's weekend isnt going to do anything. its a pattern. like if you have them more than half of her time. it doesnt really count as evidence, its just a pattern you can establish. in my state a judge will consider it but in others they might not.




mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Obviously no one got the part about this being a general question.
About anything. Anything that anyone could ever go back to court for...


Quoting whatIknownow:

Impress a judges' opinions about what?



Quoting mouthyhousewife:

What about other things?



Is a ledger that SM writes up really going to impress upon a judges opinions?





Quoting faerie75:

 you get a dated ledger, or a dated journal. hell i do it on an outlook calendar. its not solid proof, and taking the kids for ONE of BM's weekend isnt going to do anything. its a pattern. like if you have them more than half of her time. it doesnt really count as evidence, its just a pattern you can establish. in my state a judge will consider it but in others they might not.







Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:19 PM
Lol. Yeah I guess it is creepy. I'm just saying.. If you walk into court over custody or changing visitation so dad has more time or WHATEVER, and dad hands over a journal stating all the days he had the kids on bm's time (or any other things that get documented, I'm only using this as a general example.)

Can't BM just be like "he's lying, those dates are made up, he just wrote down any old days he chose"

Would a "journal" be substantial evidence?


Quoting whatIknownow:

Why would anyone have to know that it was the SM's journal and not the Dad's own journal?

Taking a photo of the kid with a newspaper makes you look kind of sinister and creepy, like you are planning to screw BM somehow, just because she offered Dad the opportunity for more time with his child instead of finding another sitter.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:21 PM

well I think the example you gave kind of threw everyone off, because I can't see how that could support going back to court for anything.

But if you wanted to document something like, she forgot to pick the child up from school (neglect), then you might write it in a journal along with the date and time. But unless it's a routine thing, it won't mean much.

For example you can't file a motion for neglect and add "back in May of 2010, she forgot to pick up Johnny from school and I had to go get him myself.'  The judge would think.. WTF? do you sit there and write down every little thing she does wrong? That kind of hypercritical tattle-tailing would work against you. But if  you said "she forgot to pick up Johnny from school 6 times over a 6-month period, on the following dates....", that could be useful to show a pattern of behavior.

I personally would not have this in "SM's journal." The judge would wonder why this was so important to a third party and not to the father himself. I'd write it in a journal that at least appears to belong to the father.


Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Obviously no one got the part about this being a general question.
About anything. Anything that anyone could ever go back to court for...


Quoting whatIknownow:

Impress a judges' opinions about what?



Quoting mouthyhousewife:

What about other things?



Is a ledger that SM writes up really going to impress upon a judges opinions?





Quoting faerie75:

 you get a dated ledger, or a dated journal. hell i do it on an outlook calendar. its not solid proof, and taking the kids for ONE of BM's weekend isnt going to do anything. its a pattern. like if you have them more than half of her time. it doesnt really count as evidence, its just a pattern you can establish. in my state a judge will consider it but in others they might not.









ejsmom4604
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Whether it be over custody, or for medical/psychological purposes (like an evaluation being done for ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder), or just for your own records, it's pretty much the same.

Just have date, time, and some details. Example, Jan 1, 2013 skid with us during bm's holiday (don't use bm, just put something like mom's holiday or something). 

Or, "Feb 10, 2013 picked up skid a day early and was asked to have skid home a day late mom going out of town."

Now, if it is every weekend that CP is supposed to have the child, there is a pattern, and looking over said pattern, may give some people reason to persue further action. Other times, it's just how things land. You can choose to include condition of clothing, hygene etc. It really depends. Generally you shouldn't need to document stuff unless there is suspicion of something going on. You can write it out, make sure DH signs or initials it. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)