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SM--well what'd you expect?!

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:51 PM
  • 114 Replies

When you married a guy with kids, or moved in with a guy with your kids, or have a his-hers-ours situation or whatever...what did you expect? 

This is not a bitchy post, just genuinely wondering.

Did you think it would be one happy family? Tough but doable?

Has it turned out like you expected? 



by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I honestly preferred to not date fathers, even though I was a mother. But I was getting older and younger guys were I. A different place than me and it was getting too hard to find men w no kids. When I met SO I didn't plan to get serious w him because to me I felt he had too many kids. But I ended up falling for him. So I decided to try it out and make do. I expected it to have its challenges. So when it did I took it in stride I guess.
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Dana333810
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this

 I feel that every one's situation is different, and cannot exactly fall into those specific categories. Kwim??

Lurion
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:00 PM


Makes sense. Guess I'm just kind of shocked at how poorly most of these situations seems to be working out. 

My ex is moving in with his gf (who the kids have never met) and I don't think she has a clue what she's getting into. She doesn't have kids of her own.




Quoting Dana333810:

 I feel that every one's situation is different, and cannot exactly fall into those specific categories. Kwim??



viv212
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:04 PM
Oh heck good luck to her!

Does he have the kids 50/50?

How old are the kids?


Quoting Lurion:


Makes sense. Guess I'm just kind of shocked at how poorly most of these situations seems to be working out. 

My ex is moving in with his gf (who the kids have never met) and I don't think she has a clue what she's getting into. She doesn't have kids of her own.





Quoting Dana333810:

 I feel that every one's situation is different, and cannot exactly fall into those specific categories. Kwim??




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Dana333810
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:04 PM
1 mom liked this

 Welp, then that is her choice....She has to learn what it's like on her own. After she gets the gist of it, she will either go one of two ways. She'll be able to adjust and stick it out, or she will fail and bail. It's as simple as that. I really wouldn't worry about it  too much if I were you. It's one of those "live and learn" lessons. You know?

Quoting Lurion:

 

Makes sense. Guess I'm just kind of shocked at how poorly most of these situations seems to be working out. 

My ex is moving in with his gf (who the kids have never met) and I don't think she has a clue what she's getting into. She doesn't have kids of her own.

 



Quoting Dana333810:

 I feel that every one's situation is different, and cannot exactly fall into those specific categories. Kwim??

 

 

 

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:09 PM
2 moms liked this

Being that I was a child of a couple blended families from before I can even remember (parents divorced when I was 18 months old) I knew that it would have it's challenges and that there would be really difficult times. I also knew that I was strong enough to do it and that if two people really wanted to be together, they could make it through it.

Quinn525
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:11 PM
4 moms liked this
I expected to create a life with my husband with his 2 year old daughter visiting on weekends. 11+ years later, sd lives with us (since she was 5) and we have two boys 10& 6.
I didn't expect drama or for a mother to give up her child, but I learned long ago that I will never understand the choices and decisions bm makes.
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dukegirl01
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:13 PM
4 moms liked this
I guess I didn't really know what to expect. Call me dumb, but I actually grew up not knowing anyone in a blended family. I still don't! Only here. It is even harder when you have no friend of any kind in a similar situation, to share anything with, to be able to vent.....that's why I came here.

It's been quit an education!
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Lurion
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:15 PM


Totally agree!!! Honest to God, had I seen CM before divorcing, I may have reconsidered leaving my ex. I had no idea what was going on out there. And now my own kids are in this situation. :(

Quoting dukegirl01:

I guess I didn't really know what to expect. Call me dumb, but I actually grew up not knowing anyone in a blended family. I still don't! Only here. It is even harder when you have no friend of any kind in a similar situation, to share anything with, to be able to vent.....that's why I came here.

It's been quit an education!



leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:35 PM
1 mom liked this

I expected one happy family and it will be 7 years of marriage in a few months and it is exactly that, plus SS. We have ours children and SS is from a previous relationship of DH's.

Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

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