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We are told to "give up" . *Updated)

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Updated:  Courts open today.  There is no papers submitted and they said its "Parental Kiddnapping"   and get a attorney.   After 5 police stations not doing anything.. where do you start.?  What a nightmare.

I have posted a couple of times about SD who just turned 17.    Before Anyone says anything about her right to "choose" where she wants to live.   Again.. not in the state with the court we deal with.  They changed their laws because of kids going back and forth.       Their laws state that change cannot take place as long as child support is exchanged.    Well when we got custody DH never requested CS.  (loop hole?)

Our situatution SD begged to live with us.  BM was never around, didnt take care of kids etc.  We did what SD wanted.. we paid the court costs then school costs to transfer (that state also charges school fees), paid probation costs (smoking pot) to get her out of the state.

So after getting custody BM didnt have time for her.  Picked her up a couple times but dropped her off at friends, sisters boys etc.    I have sat with this child crying over her mom never seeing her when she goes to visit .. BM always had a new flame and didnt have time for her.   Said this before.. no birthday gifts, no christmas gifts  but BM picked her up at 8pm on Christmas and took her back dropping her with sisters and leaving.      So we found out SD spent the night at a boys.  DH took her phone, grounded her. 

BM was sneaking up while we were gone and was going to take her.   OSD (21) got involved and told BM she cant do that.   SD spent the last weekend in that state with the 21 year old and the BM come and took her.   (dropped her at the boys house)

This past weekend we let SD go to a concert with a friend from school and the father.   Never came home.  When DH texted SD the BM texted from her phone saying she was with her.  Come to find out a boy picked her up from the concert and shes been with him ever since.  BM just covering for her.  We called police both states.. take up with the court.   They are closed.    BM texted last night saying SD17 not coming back to our state she has custody papers and a restraining order?    OSD says the BM is lying.   We had out state and their state run a check ... nothing.   

BM lives in one city, boy lives in another, sisters in another.  Even if DH tried to find her have no clue where she is.. assuming at BF's.   

Do we wait to see if papers arrive?  Do you try to pick her up??   We dont know what to do.  Now all 3 sisters are saying she is missing and not with the BM.   No one knows where she is except the BM who is at work.

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Replies (11-20):
tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:06 PM

 Well Hello there!  Where have you been??

I cant believe this mess.   DH was heading to police station in that state and was told to call the boys father.  The boy is also 17.   The father says they took her to the moms bf's house this morning.  (verify staying with them not bm)  This is the same father who hid her out there before and lied about it.   DH is now at the PD in the city where BM's house is.. now telling him to go to the BM's BF's house.   OMG... 5 different police stations.   What good is a CO.. the other parent can take a child any time they want apparently doesnt matter.   Even though not really with the BM.. BM is lying for her.   

I know the child needs therapy.. with a BM trying to encourage a child to fail is sickening.   Im just distraught over all the drama lately.


Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 DH has custody and no one knows where she is? Kidnapping on the boy if he's over 18? Withholding information on a minor charges on BM for breaking the CO? Report as a runaway?

Glad DH is on his way to try and find her. I think that some deep therapy for running away is needed, along with the pathological lying and such. I know that it's been a messy stich all the way for ya.

Honestly, IMO, all SD is doing is what she's witnessed until living with you guys. It is part of the social learning theory. (studying social theories in criminology...) I hope that things work out. I feel for ya S-mama! *hugs*

BTW - I've missed ya!


 

NewMamaBoo
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:09 PM

Wow

1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:20 PM

 Holy Crow! Same man/son? WTF is SD thinking this time? Sorry, just blows my mind!
And, 5 PD's???? Does no one in MI understand protect and serve? Such a crock of $#!T

Sorry you are all stressed out again! I'll PM you about life!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Well Hello there!  Where have you been??

I cant believe this mess.   DH was heading to police station in that state and was told to call the boys father.  The boy is also 17.   The father says they took her to the moms bf's house this morning.  (verify staying with them not bm)  This is the same father who hid her out there before and lied about it.   DH is now at the PD in the city where BM's house is.. now telling him to go to the BM's BF's house.   OMG... 5 different police stations.   What good is a CO.. the other parent can take a child any time they want apparently doesnt matter.   Even though not really with the BM.. BM is lying for her.   

I know the child needs therapy.. with a BM trying to encourage a child to fail is sickening.   Im just distraught over all the drama lately.

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 DH has custody and no one knows where she is? Kidnapping on the boy if he's over 18? Withholding information on a minor charges on BM for breaking the CO? Report as a runaway?

Glad DH is on his way to try and find her. I think that some deep therapy for running away is needed, along with the pathological lying and such. I know that it's been a messy stich all the way for ya.

Honestly, IMO, all SD is doing is what she's witnessed until living with you guys. It is part of the social learning theory. (studying social theories in criminology...) I hope that things work out. I feel for ya S-mama! *hugs*

BTW - I've missed ya!

 

 

 

          struit insidias lacrimis cum femina plorat.
When a woman weeps, she is setting traps with her tears.

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:24 PM

Michigan was first 3 hes on his 2nd in Oh now.    Yes that same nasty father.  SD got a bf up here for awhile and life was pretty good. Dumped him and next day was visitation with BM and she went right back to that boys house.   At this point I dont think there is much we can do.  We cant live like this as long as BM is sneaking behind our backs to play games.

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:59 PM

 Well 5th PD said take to court.   DH said he is done with it.  Let her go back its too much.   BM bought her all new clothes and a cell phone since we disabled service.    Wow.. I cant believe how worthless a CO is.   Make you pay the money for a custody battle to get it but worthless to take to PD to get your kid even though you have custody.    


Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 Holy Crow! Same man/son? WTF is SD thinking this time? Sorry, just blows my mind!
And, 5 PD's???? Does no one in MI understand protect and serve? Such a crock of $#!T

Sorry you are all stressed out again! I'll PM you about life!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Well Hello there!  Where have you been??

I cant believe this mess.   DH was heading to police station in that state and was told to call the boys father.  The boy is also 17.   The father says they took her to the moms bf's house this morning.  (verify staying with them not bm)  This is the same father who hid her out there before and lied about it.   DH is now at the PD in the city where BM's house is.. now telling him to go to the BM's BF's house.   OMG... 5 different police stations.   What good is a CO.. the other parent can take a child any time they want apparently doesnt matter.   Even though not really with the BM.. BM is lying for her.   

I know the child needs therapy.. with a BM trying to encourage a child to fail is sickening.   Im just distraught over all the drama lately.

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 DH has custody and no one knows where she is? Kidnapping on the boy if he's over 18? Withholding information on a minor charges on BM for breaking the CO? Report as a runaway?

Glad DH is on his way to try and find her. I think that some deep therapy for running away is needed, along with the pathological lying and such. I know that it's been a messy stich all the way for ya.

Honestly, IMO, all SD is doing is what she's witnessed until living with you guys. It is part of the social learning theory. (studying social theories in criminology...) I hope that things work out. I feel for ya S-mama! *hugs*

BTW - I've missed ya!

 

 

 


 

1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on Feb. 18, 2013 at 3:20 PM

 only plus is BM still has to pay support to DH until the order is changed (if she pd at all....)

That really sucks! You guys did what you could. SD obviously couldn't accept the change of a conventional life and wanted to go back to her old ways. I really do apologize for this!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Well 5th PD said take to court.   DH said he is done with it.  Let her go back its too much.   BM bought her all new clothes and a cell phone since we disabled service.    Wow.. I cant believe how worthless a CO is.   Make you pay the money for a custody battle to get it but worthless to take to PD to get your kid even though you have custody.    

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 Holy Crow! Same man/son? WTF is SD thinking this time? Sorry, just blows my mind!
And, 5 PD's???? Does no one in MI understand protect and serve? Such a crock of $#!T

Sorry you are all stressed out again! I'll PM you about life!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Well Hello there!  Where have you been??

I cant believe this mess.   DH was heading to police station in that state and was told to call the boys father.  The boy is also 17.   The father says they took her to the moms bf's house this morning.  (verify staying with them not bm)  This is the same father who hid her out there before and lied about it.   DH is now at the PD in the city where BM's house is.. now telling him to go to the BM's BF's house.   OMG... 5 different police stations.   What good is a CO.. the other parent can take a child any time they want apparently doesnt matter.   Even though not really with the BM.. BM is lying for her.   

I know the child needs therapy.. with a BM trying to encourage a child to fail is sickening.   Im just distraught over all the drama lately.

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 DH has custody and no one knows where she is? Kidnapping on the boy if he's over 18? Withholding information on a minor charges on BM for breaking the CO? Report as a runaway?

Glad DH is on his way to try and find her. I think that some deep therapy for running away is needed, along with the pathological lying and such. I know that it's been a messy stich all the way for ya.

Honestly, IMO, all SD is doing is what she's witnessed until living with you guys. It is part of the social learning theory. (studying social theories in criminology...) I hope that things work out. I feel for ya S-mama! *hugs*

BTW - I've missed ya!

 

 

 

 

 

 

          struit insidias lacrimis cum femina plorat.
When a woman weeps, she is setting traps with her tears.

MrsSufi
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 3:58 PM
1 mom liked this

I think first you need to make sure SD is okay - with all these adults lying, you still dont know if she ran away really or got hurt.  I find it crazy too that the police wont look for her.  If it has been more than 24 hrs, it seems they would have to treat her as a missing person.

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:00 PM

 We never asked for CS from her but I am sure we will get soaked even though she wont be living in the same place as SD.  OSD are all on our side .. I dont know we are exhausted from it.   I would never attempt trehabilitate a wild child again.. we gave her the best possible and making up lies dragging thru the mud because she prefers to go sleep around.   I give up.. :(


Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 only plus is BM still has to pay support to DH until the order is changed (if she pd at all....)

That really sucks! You guys did what you could. SD obviously couldn't accept the change of a conventional life and wanted to go back to her old ways. I really do apologize for this!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Well 5th PD said take to court.   DH said he is done with it.  Let her go back its too much.   BM bought her all new clothes and a cell phone since we disabled service.    Wow.. I cant believe how worthless a CO is.   Make you pay the money for a custody battle to get it but worthless to take to PD to get your kid even though you have custody.    

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 Holy Crow! Same man/son? WTF is SD thinking this time? Sorry, just blows my mind!
And, 5 PD's???? Does no one in MI understand protect and serve? Such a crock of $#!T

Sorry you are all stressed out again! I'll PM you about life!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Well Hello there!  Where have you been??

I cant believe this mess.   DH was heading to police station in that state and was told to call the boys father.  The boy is also 17.   The father says they took her to the moms bf's house this morning.  (verify staying with them not bm)  This is the same father who hid her out there before and lied about it.   DH is now at the PD in the city where BM's house is.. now telling him to go to the BM's BF's house.   OMG... 5 different police stations.   What good is a CO.. the other parent can take a child any time they want apparently doesnt matter.   Even though not really with the BM.. BM is lying for her.   

I know the child needs therapy.. with a BM trying to encourage a child to fail is sickening.   Im just distraught over all the drama lately.

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 DH has custody and no one knows where she is? Kidnapping on the boy if he's over 18? Withholding information on a minor charges on BM for breaking the CO? Report as a runaway?

Glad DH is on his way to try and find her. I think that some deep therapy for running away is needed, along with the pathological lying and such. I know that it's been a messy stich all the way for ya.

Honestly, IMO, all SD is doing is what she's witnessed until living with you guys. It is part of the social learning theory. (studying social theories in criminology...) I hope that things work out. I feel for ya S-mama! *hugs*

BTW - I've missed ya!

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 Perhaps one day she will wake up and realize that you and her father were trying to provide a good life and show her that there is another path to take. Prayers and hugs mama!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 We never asked for CS from her but I am sure we will get soaked even though she wont be living in the same place as SD.  OSD are all on our side .. I dont know we are exhausted from it.   I would never attempt trehabilitate a wild child again.. we gave her the best possible and making up lies dragging thru the mud because she prefers to go sleep around.   I give up.. :(

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 only plus is BM still has to pay support to DH until the order is changed (if she pd at all....)

That really sucks! You guys did what you could. SD obviously couldn't accept the change of a conventional life and wanted to go back to her old ways. I really do apologize for this!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Well 5th PD said take to court.   DH said he is done with it.  Let her go back its too much.   BM bought her all new clothes and a cell phone since we disabled service.    Wow.. I cant believe how worthless a CO is.   Make you pay the money for a custody battle to get it but worthless to take to PD to get your kid even though you have custody.    

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 Holy Crow! Same man/son? WTF is SD thinking this time? Sorry, just blows my mind!
And, 5 PD's???? Does no one in MI understand protect and serve? Such a crock of $#!T

Sorry you are all stressed out again! I'll PM you about life!

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Well Hello there!  Where have you been??

I cant believe this mess.   DH was heading to police station in that state and was told to call the boys father.  The boy is also 17.   The father says they took her to the moms bf's house this morning.  (verify staying with them not bm)  This is the same father who hid her out there before and lied about it.   DH is now at the PD in the city where BM's house is.. now telling him to go to the BM's BF's house.   OMG... 5 different police stations.   What good is a CO.. the other parent can take a child any time they want apparently doesnt matter.   Even though not really with the BM.. BM is lying for her.   

I know the child needs therapy.. with a BM trying to encourage a child to fail is sickening.   Im just distraught over all the drama lately.

 

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

 DH has custody and no one knows where she is? Kidnapping on the boy if he's over 18? Withholding information on a minor charges on BM for breaking the CO? Report as a runaway?

Glad DH is on his way to try and find her. I think that some deep therapy for running away is needed, along with the pathological lying and such. I know that it's been a messy stich all the way for ya.

Honestly, IMO, all SD is doing is what she's witnessed until living with you guys. It is part of the social learning theory. (studying social theories in criminology...) I hope that things work out. I feel for ya S-mama! *hugs*

BTW - I've missed ya!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

          struit insidias lacrimis cum femina plorat.
When a woman weeps, she is setting traps with her tears.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 5:02 PM

If your DH legally has custody and no one knows where SD is, report her as a run away and tell the police that there's a chance BM is helping her hid out and/or knows where she might be. Also, depending on your state laws, it may be VERY illegal for a 21 year old man to be with a 17 year old. Which means BM is ALSO allowing statutory rape, which is a crime.


Quoting tiredmama42:


Thats what her sisters say to do since no one has seen her since Friday.  The bad thing is BM keeps lying to everyone saying she is with her.   This is a perfect case of a BM not acting in the best intrest of her child only doing this try to get the upper hand with DH.   Really is sickening.  


 

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Report her as a runaway. You don't know where she's at, she's legally a minor.





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