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We are told to "give up" . *Updated)

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Updated:  Courts open today.  There is no papers submitted and they said its "Parental Kiddnapping"   and get a attorney.   After 5 police stations not doing anything.. where do you start.?  What a nightmare.

I have posted a couple of times about SD who just turned 17.    Before Anyone says anything about her right to "choose" where she wants to live.   Again.. not in the state with the court we deal with.  They changed their laws because of kids going back and forth.       Their laws state that change cannot take place as long as child support is exchanged.    Well when we got custody DH never requested CS.  (loop hole?)

Our situatution SD begged to live with us.  BM was never around, didnt take care of kids etc.  We did what SD wanted.. we paid the court costs then school costs to transfer (that state also charges school fees), paid probation costs (smoking pot) to get her out of the state.

So after getting custody BM didnt have time for her.  Picked her up a couple times but dropped her off at friends, sisters boys etc.    I have sat with this child crying over her mom never seeing her when she goes to visit .. BM always had a new flame and didnt have time for her.   Said this before.. no birthday gifts, no christmas gifts  but BM picked her up at 8pm on Christmas and took her back dropping her with sisters and leaving.      So we found out SD spent the night at a boys.  DH took her phone, grounded her. 

BM was sneaking up while we were gone and was going to take her.   OSD (21) got involved and told BM she cant do that.   SD spent the last weekend in that state with the 21 year old and the BM come and took her.   (dropped her at the boys house)

This past weekend we let SD go to a concert with a friend from school and the father.   Never came home.  When DH texted SD the BM texted from her phone saying she was with her.  Come to find out a boy picked her up from the concert and shes been with him ever since.  BM just covering for her.  We called police both states.. take up with the court.   They are closed.    BM texted last night saying SD17 not coming back to our state she has custody papers and a restraining order?    OSD says the BM is lying.   We had out state and their state run a check ... nothing.   

BM lives in one city, boy lives in another, sisters in another.  Even if DH tried to find her have no clue where she is.. assuming at BF's.   

Do we wait to see if papers arrive?  Do you try to pick her up??   We dont know what to do.  Now all 3 sisters are saying she is missing and not with the BM.   No one knows where she is except the BM who is at work.

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Replies (21-30):
Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 5:13 PM

I cringe everytime I read your posts.:(

kkkaaayyyy
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:25 PM

IF you are the primary care giver, you are reponsibile for that child. You cannot go on hear say. There needs t be a police report made and also a missing persons report.

shanlee42
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this
I understand that your situation is difficult but your DH has an obligation to that child. He needs to ensure that she is safe until she is 18. I find it repulsive that he has given up an isn't even concerned whether or not she is safe.
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tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 7:29 AM

Well I guess for the ones who dont understand the situation its hard to clarify in writting what is going on.   Fact is he has custody a court order.. with visitation every other weekend.  The BM never spent time with her even when she begged her mom too. Again the only time BM has come into the picture is when when SD was grounded and she tried to sneak her out of the house.  3rd time.  SD Has had her phone taken away 3 times in 8 months for less than a week each.  SD thought that was the end of the world.  She got 6 E's and skipped school and every time she went to Ohio she was staying with a boy not her family and the mother lied saying she was with her the last couple of weeks.  Apparently BM got tax money back bought her a new phone and new clothes and letting her do what she wants.   With talked to the fathers boy yesterday and yes she stays at their house.  So by the 5th police station that DH went to with his custody papers dated 4/12/2012 the police office said he wont honer because its not current enough.   The police called the BM and said she was with her due to domestic violence.    My DH never even made these child do a chore, he is a very mild mannered man has never laid a hand on her or me.   But the BM has 5 other PPOS on people.. like a serial filer so I guess she can make up anything and know how to play it.    Needed something to justify her actions for taking SD.   The only reason SD wants to be there now because BM will let her stay with the boy.   OSD"S, BM's Mother are all disapointed.. they know we were good to her.  We have tried everything and without the police helping when the court is closed we counld not do anything.   The last thing we heard yesterday has devastated us and making false lies about people to get there way.  If you have read any of my posts before.. Sd wasnt asked to do chores or anything even though I personally thought she should help out.. when she did get in trouble all she lost was a phone.  That is not abuse.   Sd begged us to take her because she was neglected.      Given up and being forced to give up is 2 different things.  

Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:32 PM

Some Police are so stupid. Bm in your stitch is stupid. Sorry

Quoting tiredmama42:

Well I guess for the ones who dont understand the situation its hard to clarify in writting what is going on.   Fact is he has custody a court order.. with visitation every other weekend.  The BM never spent time with her even when she begged her mom too. Again the only time BM has come into the picture is when when SD was grounded and she tried to sneak her out of the house.  3rd time.  SD Has had her phone taken away 3 times in 8 months for less than a week each.  SD thought that was the end of the world.  She got 6 E's and skipped school and every time she went to Ohio she was staying with a boy not her family and the mother lied saying she was with her the last couple of weeks.  Apparently BM got tax money back bought her a new phone and new clothes and letting her do what she wants.   With talked to the fathers boy yesterday and yes she stays at their house.  So by the 5th police station that DH went to with his custody papers dated 4/12/2012 the police office said he wont honer because its not current enough.   The police called the BM and said she was with her due to domestic violence.    My DH never even made these child do a chore, he is a very mild mannered man has never laid a hand on her or me.   But the BM has 5 other PPOS on people.. like a serial filer so I guess she can make up anything and know how to play it.    Needed something to justify her actions for taking SD.   The only reason SD wants to be there now because BM will let her stay with the boy.   OSD"S, BM's Mother are all disapointed.. they know we were good to her.  We have tried everything and without the police helping when the court is closed we counld not do anything.   The last thing we heard yesterday has devastated us and making false lies about people to get there way.  If you have read any of my posts before.. Sd wasnt asked to do chores or anything even though I personally thought she should help out.. when she did get in trouble all she lost was a phone.  That is not abuse.   Sd begged us to take her because she was neglected.      Given up and being forced to give up is 2 different things.  


Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Do you understand? ~The Crow

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:15 AM

 I agree.  No one wants to be bothered but you have to go through all the expense and custody fights to get a order and its been worthless.  They court scheduled a hearing March 14th.  She had perfect attendance and great grades.  They are marking her truent for every day missed.  School liasen is supposed to call this morning so we will see what happens there.


Quoting Tillymommie:

Some Police are so stupid. Bm in your stitch is stupid. Sorry

Quoting tiredmama42:

Well I guess for the ones who dont understand the situation its hard to clarify in writting what is going on.   Fact is he has custody a court order.. with visitation every other weekend.  The BM never spent time with her even when she begged her mom too. Again the only time BM has come into the picture is when when SD was grounded and she tried to sneak her out of the house.  3rd time.  SD Has had her phone taken away 3 times in 8 months for less than a week each.  SD thought that was the end of the world.  She got 6 E's and skipped school and every time she went to Ohio she was staying with a boy not her family and the mother lied saying she was with her the last couple of weeks.  Apparently BM got tax money back bought her a new phone and new clothes and letting her do what she wants.   With talked to the fathers boy yesterday and yes she stays at their house.  So by the 5th police station that DH went to with his custody papers dated 4/12/2012 the police office said he wont honer because its not current enough.   The police called the BM and said she was with her due to domestic violence.    My DH never even made these child do a chore, he is a very mild mannered man has never laid a hand on her or me.   But the BM has 5 other PPOS on people.. like a serial filer so I guess she can make up anything and know how to play it.    Needed something to justify her actions for taking SD.   The only reason SD wants to be there now because BM will let her stay with the boy.   OSD"S, BM's Mother are all disapointed.. they know we were good to her.  We have tried everything and without the police helping when the court is closed we counld not do anything.   The last thing we heard yesterday has devastated us and making false lies about people to get there way.  If you have read any of my posts before.. Sd wasnt asked to do chores or anything even though I personally thought she should help out.. when she did get in trouble all she lost was a phone.  That is not abuse.   Sd begged us to take her because she was neglected.      Given up and being forced to give up is 2 different things.  



 

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:20 AM

FUck that-find that child and bring her ass home-she's still under 18-she's a minor.

If that were my sd-I knopw Dh would go to bm's house and see if she's there-if not-go to the boy's house.

Whatever it takes to bring her home safely

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:27 AM

He did try.   Police kept saying it was civil take to court 5 different police stations since 2 seperate states.  He sent a emergency request to court also waiting for a reply.  The school police officer was supposed to call him yesterday.. didnt so he called a couple times but unavailable.     We are pretty discouraged at this point.. only time courts care is when they are collecting money.   They collected a handful for us to get a worthless CO.    

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:24 AM
She is in Ohio? Call county sherrifs or state troopers and report it in your state as missing person parental kidnapping have an amber alert issued.
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tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 9:05 AM

 We tried.  Thats what I am saying.  We live in MI.. She goes to school here.  We went to local pd they said take it to court. (taken Friday 15th).  County sherriff from our county came took a report.. they said take to court.   Father went to PD in Fremont (BM's house where OSD's live), since BM living with her bf told him to go to that county PD.  That PD said his custody papers were too old.. from 6/2012.   Courts were closed then (monday was presidents day) Tuesday contacted court they scheduled a hearing for March 14.  Wed asked for a emergency hearing since she was not returned and school marking her truant.  Hes the custodial parent.      She is not in school anyway hers sisters say she is just staying at boyfriends house and bf's mom home schools so she is getting home schooled apparently.      This is all based on the fact that BM allows sleepovers with boys and her farther does not.    Its sickening.  The BM has had nothing do do with this child since we had custody  but she got grounded so the BM sneaks behind everyones back and takes her.  She has none of her stuff from the house either.  Bm apparently bought her all new clothes and a new cell phone.  This BM didnt even buy this child a birthday card for christmas or her birthday.  OSD who is still in hs called father because BM wont give her the CS card to get food for the house they live in.  BM told her she gave it to her bf because he lost his job!  Then you look on the court site and the BM was served another huge garnishment on 2/13.  (took 2/15)    I couldnt be more disgusted its like a springer episode.  This is a perfect example of nothing is in the best interest of kids.   Its so upsetting. 


Quoting MommySabs:

She is in Ohio? Call county sherrifs or state troopers and report it in your state as missing person parental kidnapping have an amber alert issued.


 

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