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Full Face Makeup on a 12 year old

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Question: Is full face makeup with bright red lipstick and black eyeliner appropriate on a 12 year old at a school function?




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DH's sister has a picture with her and my SD's makeup looks slutty.  I guess she wants to upset DH.  He doesn't like it at all!  He also told his sister and ex-wife that she was to young to wear it like that. 

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:43 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:29 AM
You didn't offend. :-) DH and I wouldn't have known about it if other people hadn't brought it to our attention.

Quoting momof2ex1:

Well I was just trying to be open minded. Didn't mean to offend. If its a problem then your husband should talk to his child about it.

Quoting krazykiddles:

This was at a school activity.  My profession has nothing to do with this.  It really makes her look awful.  DH and I have a joint FB account and friends of DH told us their concerns also.  I feel bad for SD. 

Quoting momof2ex1:

I tend to be the type of person, even before I was divorced that there are gender topics that belong to the gender specific parent. Unless the opposite sex parent is OK or has no choice. Like my husband is so excited that he doesn't have a daughter. He does not want to have the period or sex talk with a girl. I'm ok with having that talk with my son I can do it. But with girls, I remember the awkward tween years and my dad. Oh my dad. I just wanted him to stop!! I was so embarrassed when he was trying to ask me if I wore a bra yet lol no he didn't know. He was less than an EOW dad so he wasn't sure. Then the condom talk. I didn't even get the sex talk but he wondered if I needed condoms. Then the tampon talk. That was me. I went to him. Dad I'm a cheerleader. I need tampons. He was mortified. And he refused. I had to bribe my friends mom to buy me some until I could get back to my mom's. (I lived with my dad from 11-13).

So obviously, I would expect that with an active mom, the make up talk would be left to her. I appreciated that since I wasn't consulted on the sex and the period talk that I was allowed the shaving and the make up talk. I wonder if you are more sensitive to how it looks because of your profession. I was a dental assistant and had my RDA. So I tend to be critical of mouths. Where others may not even notice.

Was this picture just a 'dress up' picture? Bc we have days where we play with make up. Especially when we are getting ready for recital day. We use all kinds of stuff dd normally isn't allowed to wear and I've taken pictures. She wouldn't go to dinner or school like that. But she might wear it around the house.

Quoting krazykiddles:

I couldn't believe that DH's sister thought this looked good on her!  It makes her look like a racoon around the eyes (just like her Aunt wears it).  I am a Skin Care professional so I know tricks and trades that will make her look amazing without thick lines and very dark colors. Her aunt posted the picture on FB for everyone to see.  I am just going to let DH take care of it and if SD asks me directly for help then I will, but not until.  I have adopted the not my child not my problem attitude.

Quoting momof2ex1:

Personally, yes I agree it is inappropriate and my child knows she is not allowed to wear eye liner or lip stick unless it's for play at home or for dance recital. She is almost 12. It is against our rules. However, I do allow some make up but she rarely wears it. I allow clear mascara and I allow neutral eye shadow and light pink lip gloss or Chapstick. I took this opportunity to teach my daughter about appropriate make up. How to apply it, how not to apply it, what colors go well with seasons and outfits and times of day. Fortunately, I don't have the issue from the other home. They are anti make up so even the little bit that I allow at my home is too much for their home. We tend to Parent, what happens at my house is my business and what happens at his house is his business. My daughter knows what my rules are and she knows there will be consequences for rules broken even if she is with her other parent. I find out she is putting on red lipstick when she knows it's not ok, she will be in trouble. Her dad doesn't say she can't wear make up he just doesn't allow her to wear it at his house. If he told her she would suffer consequences for wearing it at my house, I would probably scale back and not allow her to wear it so that she didn't get in to trouble over there.

This is the age where girls are starting to want to wear make up and fix their own hair etc etc. she is trying to find herself through these girlie things. I would take the opportunity to teach her what is appropriate rather than ban it because I have found that when you try to ban things completely is when teens learn to hide and lie. Especially if the other home is ok with it.

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by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:40 AM
Judge mental much? These are the kinds of things that will make your relationship with the other house even worse than it already is.

With no picture and no description of the school function it is impossible for us to know what we would have felt was appropriate. Many girls wear make-up in middle school and most of those don't understand subtlety so it probably looked pretty normal.

What is the custody arrangement? If your DH didn't like the move why didn't he file contempt?
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by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:42 AM

What makes you think it was just to upset DH?

by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:44 AM

Quoting WifeyC:

What makes you think it was just to upset DH?

Because every move made and every breath taken is intended by BM to piss off BF.  Always.  Get with the program there Wifey, you know that shit.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:46 AM

Quoting GlockMom:

Quoting WifeyC:

What makes you think it was just to upset DH?

Because every move made and every breath taken is intended by BM to piss off BF.  Always.  Get with the program there Wifey, you know that shit.

I should have known better.  I apologize.

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:17 AM

 I don't think its appropriate and my SD would never be let out of our house with it like that.. however I have come to accept that what happens on BM's time we can't control. Thankfully we are custodial so SD would never go to school like that. I am a firm believer on less is more when it comes to makeup anyway.

by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:30 AM

No, DH and I would not allow our girls to wear that makeup at 12. I am taking both girls before they start junior high to a cosmotologist to show them how to correctly put on makeup for their skin type. I will buy their products at that time, but no red lipstick and no eye liner that makes them look like they work on a street corner!

My mom did this with my sister and me and it helped us out greatly. I still don't wear hardly any makeup and I'm almost mid 30's...

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this
i have no advice but wonder if the child is comfortable with that,,, not so much the makeup but she's tugging on the very very short dress which tells me not only does she have way too much makeup but also too short of a dress
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:52 AM

Quoting AnnaNonamus:

This was taken on this girls 13th birthday. This is a full face of makeup.

She forgot her pants.  

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to James Madison

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American Statesman
by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:55 AM
Looks like she tugged at her dress so much she ripped it....

Anywho...if dad doesn't like it he can take it up with mom. I would stay out of it.
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