Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

I will NEVER understand BM

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:51 AM
  • 8 Replies
I always try and try on different occasions for the last 2 years to give the BM opportunity to prove herself as a Mom and she disappoints me EVERYTIME in year 2012 she saw the kids 1 time in July and talked to them 1 time in October. I want to respect her has a mom but there is no way when all she does is worry about what boyfriend she has at the moment and cant even get/keep/want a job lost her house in 2011 cause she couldnt pay for it, i just dont understand and i know i never will cause I love these 2 kids like my own.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:53 AM

She doesn't want to be a Mom.  Accept that and move on.

pambunce
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:57 AM
I accept it trust me, i feel for our kids my SD is acting out BAD and its not fair to her or us thing is they never had a good relationship but i know deep down it hurts her
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:17 AM

I don't understand any Mom who chooses not care for her child.  I wouldn't be able to respect her as a Mom either, not at all.  I just couldn't.

In my situation BM calls her kids regularly but doesn't see them much except if we go out of our way to get them to her.  The skids are used to this though, they have a home and they have their mom, but she is just mostly on the phone.

Vaughna15
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 4:29 PM

Dont get your hopes up! Ive been trying for 2 years as well and just when I think she will step up and prove something she does just the opposite! It doesnt even surprise me anymore! Every other weekend something ALWAYS happens! It will never go smooth and your hopes will be crushed every time! So I stopped trying to understand! 

sid1083
by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 4:30 PM


Quoting pambunce:

I accept it trust me, i feel for our kids my SD is acting out BAD and its not fair to her or us thing is they never had a good relationship but i know deep down it hurts her

Unfortunately, life just isn't fair. We have to make do with the situation as it is and work for the better.

mima16
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 5:57 PM

M in our case is similar. Cares little. I do the caregiving. But guess what? the kids won't love me like they love their mom. It's a fact that I need to accept and deal with. I have no control over BM's actions. 

Dana333810
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:18 PM

 This

Quoting WifeyC:

She doesn't want to be a Mom.  Accept that and move on.

 

newstepmom61811
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this
I think most of us SMs in this situation will never understand the BM, it means we can think and feel on that level...I don't want to be able to...I just approach it this way...I take pride that I am TOTALLY different than BM and help not hurt the kids. It's what I have to contribute. I focus on what I can control. The rest is just useless to worry about, wasted energy and minutes of your life.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN