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Question on behalf of DH

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:07 PM
  • 31 Replies

So in a previous post I explained our situation. But here is a brief run down. 

Over the summer, BM had CPS investigate her and her SO for child neglect. She refused to do any reccomendations, and even left the state she is in (Central NY State). She wanted DH to get custody, so she could then try to get custody back here in our state (PA). He never did that, knowing that she "manipulates" (his words). She missed two court hearings, where she was found guilty of neglect. She now has county supervised vists twice a week, for an hour each time. She is not allowed to call, send mail, anything directly to SS (whom is residing with maternal grandmother, but is considered a ward of the state). 

DH has been working with CPS in that county of NY, and they seem to want him to have custody, and he is working with them, and their terms so that will happen at the end of the school year. 

Here is where his question comes in. BM is required to take certain classes (parenting and domestic violence), has to keep up with therapy for Bi-polar and psychosis (not sure of the actual diagnosis) at county approved location, keep up with meds, do visits, and talk with CPS worker regularly. We know she hasn't visited SS since November, but DH was wondering if there is some way he can find out if she is doing the other requirements? He is going to fight for SS no matter what, but he wants to know what he is going against. 


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by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
andie646c
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:09 PM

So I'm clear, BM offered custody to your DH, he declined. Grandma has the kid now and now DH wants him?

Dana333810
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:15 PM

 Perhaps an attorney could find out, assuming you have one?

ejsmom4604
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:15 PM

No, BM always had custody because they were never married. She in fact had visitation revoked (because he and were getting married), and he had been fighting to get that restored (which happened last August). 

CPS removed SS and temperarily placed him with maternal grandmother. CPS has asked hubby to work with them so he can re-establish his relationship with SS and the plan is for DH to get full custody once the school year is over in June. BM was trying to get DH to get custody immediately so she could then file for custody here in our state to get around neglect charges. After DH talked to CPS, he decided that was not in the best interest of SS, and chose to work with CPS and do what he thought would be best for SS (since there is me, my ODS (SS's step brother) and YDS (SS's half brother). 

Quoting andie646c:

So I'm clear, BM offered custody to your DH, he declined. Grandma has the kid now and now DH wants him?


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MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:15 PM
I remember this he offered with some crazy contingencies that weren't entirely legal so she could basically avoid a ruling by CPs. It sounded to me like op's dh was going about the situation in a responsible manner following state guidelines and will likely end up with permanent custody rather than custody that could be quickly challenged and overturned.


Quoting andie646c:

So I'm clear, BM offered custody to your DH, he declined. Grandma has the kid now and now DH wants him?


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Dana333810
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:15 PM

 Why did DH decline custody?

ejsmom4604
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:16 PM

He doesn't yet, but he has talked to a few and is trying to decide whom he wants. He was just wondering if he had any legal ground where he could get that info, or if that was just considered none of his business. 

Quoting Dana333810:

 Perhaps an attorney could find out, assuming you have one?


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ejsmom4604
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:17 PM

Exactly. 

Quoting MommySabs:

I remember this he offered with some crazy contingencies that weren't entirely legal so she could basically avoid a ruling by CPs. It sounded to me like op's dh was going about the situation in a responsible manner following state guidelines and will likely end up with permanent custody rather than custody that could be quickly challenged and overturned.


Quoting andie646c:

So I'm clear, BM offered custody to your DH, he declined. Grandma has the kid now and now DH wants him?



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ejsmom4604
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:18 PM

He didn't decline it. It wasn't BM's to give him at that point since SS was a ward of the state. He declined her plan to get around neglect charges and put his son back into harms way. 

Quoting Dana333810:

 Why did DH decline custody?


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Dana333810
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:19 PM

 I would ask an attorney then. It's hard to tell.

Quoting ejsmom4604:

He doesn't yet, but he has talked to a few and is trying to decide whom he wants. He was just wondering if he had any legal ground where he could get that info, or if that was just considered none of his business. 

Quoting Dana333810:

 Perhaps an attorney could find out, assuming you have one?


 

Dana333810
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:19 PM

 Gotcha

Quoting ejsmom4604:

He didn't decline it. It wasn't BM's to give him at that point since SS was a ward of the state. He declined her plan to get around neglect charges and put his son back into harms way. 

Quoting Dana333810:

 Why did DH decline custody?


 

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