I have been with DH for 10 years and for 9 of those years SS has lived with us full time. Despite many attempts to keep BM in her child's life she pretty much wasn' really involved. We have gone anywhere from 3 weeks to 1.5 years without contact from her. We did maintain contact with BM's parents and my SS would often visit with his grandparents and they would come to the school to see plays he was in. BM never even called for holidays or birthdays. On February 3 my SS turned 18 and had decided to cut any contact with his mother. He is done with her not being in his life and when she is it is all drama. DH and I continue to encourage him to try to have some sort of relationship with her, we think it is important. SS maintains at 18 he should be able to decide who is apart of his life and who isn't. He told his dad last night that if he is an adult he should be able to make decisions for himself and if it is a mistake then it should be his mistake to make. My question for you is should we try to keep after him to have a relationship with his mother or should we let it go and let him make this decision? I really don't want him to have any regrets but at what point does he get to make his own choices? What would you do?