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What's so awful about being a disney dad?

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If your spouse only has 4 days a month (eowe) wouldnt he want to make he best of it? But then he's condemned for not really being a real parent.

Then if he tries to discipline and enforce his houses rules then he's condemed for expected too much from the kid who only visits dads home.....

If dh only gets EOWE I'm 90% sure he'll be a disney dad. And I'm A Okay with that.
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by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:44 AM
Replies (31-39):
kimkrys1
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 4:58 PM

I think being a disney dad/mom is not only not making them "do" what they are supposed too or spending money on them.. it also has to do with HOW they treat others in the house (the kids).  I dont see anything wrong with planning fun things, but if the child is rude or has a mini wife or dad complex or is just an overall pain in the butt THEN it becomes the problem.  It's HOW the NCP allows the children to treat others in that house.  

Our BM (we have 2 ss full time) buys them crap everytime they go to her house, but they also have to clean their play room and take a bath etc.... if we send homework or study sheets they are to do that as well.. and she "somewhat" sees that its done.

They are not allowed to walk all over her husband or her though.  BM doesnt fall down and "worship" them so to speak.. they are kids.. sure she gets them 4 days a week but that doesnt mean that they can disrespect her.

packermomof2
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 5:15 PM



Quoting kimkrys1:

I has a mini wife

I'm a mini wife... I'm not a kid, I'm just small. :)

I don't think kids are mini spouses.



"What country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance. Let them take arms."
Thomas Jefferson
to James Madison

"They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Ben Franklin
American Statesman
newwife1
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 7:27 PM

My husband was a "Disney Dad" when I met him. He still is to a small degree.

SS was 8 when I married DH. As soon as he would step in the door he would demand a hundred dollar bill from DH who would give it to him. It was their "thing" he said... SS would throw tantrums and DH would take him to Toys R Us to shut him up.

I watched this happen for a few months before slowly telling my husband that he is doing a great disservice to his son and teaching him a really bad lesson about life. No 8 year old needs to be handed a hundred dollar bill for visiting his dad. You don't get trips to the toy store for throwing a tantrum, all it does is make the kid throw a tantrum any time he wants to be rewarded.

It took a good few years for DH to understand that it was okay to not buy his kid's love and spending time hanging out or going for burgers at the diner and talking one on one was more valuable than throwing money at a child.


thatislife
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 7:32 PM

I think disney dad is just a way to dog the other parent.  I agree, if you only get 4 days a month have fun with the kid.  Yes, you can have him clear his own dishes and put his clothes in the hamper or whatever but i see nothing wrong with packing lots of fun and togetherness into those 4 days, moreso then what you would do on the day to day because there is stuff that just has to get done when you have the kids most of the time.

AMBG825
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 8:49 PM

 The problem comes later on down the road. If all you've taught your children is that you are the fun one with no actual rules and all you're going to do is go out and do all this fun stuff, then when they get older and don't respect you unless you're doing "fun" stuff FOR them, you have no one to blame but yourself.

 

The minute the child realizes that you won't always be giving and giving and giving is the same time that the child no longer has use for you. So when you stop taking them roller skating and paint balling and whatever it is they're into that week, and actually expect them to look at you like a parent, that will be the last time you actually see your kids.

thatislife
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:06 PM
1 mom liked this

 

I don't know.  The kids who love hanging out with their parent at the roll a rena or paint ball place can love hanging out at a sporting event or rock climbing or camping when older.  There really isn't a time when fun activities need to end.  If I only had 4 days a month with my kid I would be soaking up togetherness and good times.  I don't think doing fun things and rules are mutually exclusive, you don't have to be sitting home or scrubbing toilets during the 4 days to earn respect. 

Quoting AMBG825:

 The problem comes later on down the road. If all you've taught your children is that you are the fun one with no actual rules and all you're going to do is go out and do all this fun stuff, then when they get older and don't respect you unless you're doing "fun" stuff FOR them, you have no one to blame but yourself.

 

The minute the child realizes that you won't always be giving and giving and giving is the same time that the child no longer has use for you. So when you stop taking them roller skating and paint balling and whatever it is they're into that week, and actually expect them to look at you like a parent, that will be the last time you actually see your kids.


 

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:39 PM

My husband gets less than 4 days per month and is far from a disney dad, we always have fun but discipline is a must always.

Troubleswife
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:06 AM
I agree. You can have fun and still be a parent. But in order to be a parent there is more to it than just having fun without connecting in other things. It's about a relationship. Children need to learn to give in a relationship too I think. Respect being mutual. A child thinking they are with their parent and it is all about doing what they want vs needs or even other people wants are growing up selfishly. There are an awful lot of kids being raised with the cases of "it is all about me!"

Life isn't all fun and games nor is it all mean and boring. Since both parents have only 4 weekend days a month, if both adopted the idea that they should make their weekend time all fun, spoiling, with no work or discipline then the child will grow up thinking this is what life is like. All about them.

My parents made me do chores and I had family obligations that came before I was allowed to go skating, dancing, sleepovers, movies or anything else...and I appreciate I learned at a young age that life lesson. I didn't go to work thinking I got to play and they paid me for it.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

My husband gets less than 4 days per month and is far from a disney dad, we always have fun but discipline is a must always.

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AMBG825
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:08 AM

 No you don't. But you have to have a balance. You can't always be the fun one and you can't always be the hard ass either. You can still do fun stuff while still expecting them to treat you like the parent you are.

Quoting thatislife:

 

I don't know.  The kids who love hanging out with their parent at the roll a rena or paint ball place can love hanging out at a sporting event or rock climbing or camping when older.  There really isn't a time when fun activities need to end.  If I only had 4 days a month with my kid I would be soaking up togetherness and good times.  I don't think doing fun things and rules are mutually exclusive, you don't have to be sitting home or scrubbing toilets during the 4 days to earn respect. 

Quoting AMBG825:

 The problem comes later on down the road. If all you've taught your children is that you are the fun one with no actual rules and all you're going to do is go out and do all this fun stuff, then when they get older and don't respect you unless you're doing "fun" stuff FOR them, you have no one to blame but yourself.

 

The minute the child realizes that you won't always be giving and giving and giving is the same time that the child no longer has use for you. So when you stop taking them roller skating and paint balling and whatever it is they're into that week, and actually expect them to look at you like a parent, that will be the last time you actually see your kids.

 

 

 






 

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