My fiance has had his boys for the past 7 years. Their mom has only recently started to be a part of their lives. about a year ago we move in with eachother and have tried to blend his two boys (now 9 & 12) and my 3 kids (now 4yr & 6yr girls & 12 yr boy) The biggest challenge has been with the oldest boys! They are now going to the same school and do NOT like each other! We have sat them down together and explained that we are going to be a family and they must RESPECT each other. They dont have to hang out together at school or at home but they must use kind word to and about eachother. My stepson can be very stubron and has pushed me, thrown things at me, said hateful things to me, and even to the girls. I dont know how to control him when he gets this way. My son has told me he will hurt him if he touches me or the girls agian and I always tell him..NO that is not how we get our point across. Long story short we keep putting off getting married because of the boys. Should I just let my fiance and his boys go? How do I get a 12 yr boy to respect me, the rules, and the new family?