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am i in the wrong??

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:20 PM
  • 6 Replies

i was in a lot of pain before i had luella, and on bedrest with some hospitalization. this last weekened i told dh no on his weekend visit because i still didnt feel up to it. Well glad i did because my two yearold got realy sick then luella started to get sick to so er visit came back both had rsv. they put luella in the hospital for two days. I just sent an e mail to dh that i dont want his kids here this weekend becuse of the rsv. his kids are 7 and 5 years old. i dont want them sick let alone the fits bm would have if they got sick. am i right or should i let them come over anyways?

-dh works out of town monday-friday so we only see him on weekends, he is working in town were bm lives and visits the kids 2x a week.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:20 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:23 PM
1 mom liked this

If he's home and can take care of the kids and BM isn't worried about transmission, then I don't think you should be asking him to not take his time.

I really don't think a step should EVER tell the BP that the kids can't come over during the planned time. 

If you were worried about disease transmission, that's one thing. And BM/DH can make that call. But as long as he will be around to take care of the kids, I think it's a bad idea to say no to visitation.

misymac
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:27 PM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like you are thinking about the children health.. To me that a good mother and their bm should be happy that you are thinking of their health. IF she is a good mother herself she will understand.. And if dad loves his kids he wont want them to get sick....

LovingMy2x4
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:29 PM

I agree. If he can take care of them, then it shouldnt be a problem. And if the bio-parents arent against them being near sick children then thats up to them. Your hubby has 4 children, not just 2. 

Quoting Birdseed:

If he's home and can take care of the kids and BM isn't worried about transmission, then I don't think you should be asking him to not take his time.

I really don't think a step should EVER tell the BP that the kids can't come over during the planned time. 

If you were worried about disease transmission, that's one thing. And BM/DH can make that call. But as long as he will be around to take care of the kids, I think it's a bad idea to say no to visitation.


speidelboys
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:30 PM

 


Quoting Birdseed:

If he's home and can take care of the kids and BM isn't worried about transmission, then I don't think you should be asking him to not take his time.

I really don't think a step should EVER tell the BP that the kids can't come over during the planned time. 

If you were worried about disease transmission, that's one thing. And BM/DH can make that call. But as long as he will be around to take care of the kids, I think it's a bad idea to say no to visitation.


 befor she was born i couldnt take care of mine, so having his here to wouldve been a joke, IF he would help with the kids i wouldnt have been to worried but thats it he is home, he is trying to fix the car..cut fire wood... take care of the stuff i still cant do. So he dosnt help with the kids unless there out helping him. were i am feeling lots better i am mainly worried about the rsv because his son has breathing issues already (or so bm says- we never had issues

DDDaysh
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:32 PM

 Maybe he shouldn't come home this weekend and should stay in his kids town with them instead since he already missed one of their weekends. 

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:34 PM



Quoting speidelboys:



Quoting Birdseed:

If he's home and can take care of the kids and BM isn't worried about transmission, then I don't think you should be asking him to not take his time.

I really don't think a step should EVER tell the BP that the kids can't come over during the planned time. 

If you were worried about disease transmission, that's one thing. And BM/DH can make that call. But as long as he will be around to take care of the kids, I think it's a bad idea to say no to visitation.


 befor she was born i couldnt take care of mine, so having his here to wouldve been a joke, IF he would help with the kids i wouldnt have been to worried but thats it he is home, he is trying to fix the car..cut fire wood... take care of the stuff i still cant do. So he dosnt help with the kids unless there out helping him. were i am feeling lots better i am mainly worried about the rsv because his son has breathing issues already (or so bm says- we never had issues


There are sitters, home helpers, all number of ways to have someone help out even if you have a less than helpful husband or no family around.

If he won't help out with the existing kids, man...why have more?  

Can't chopping wood wait?  Or working on the car?  

RSV in older kids and adults leads to cold symptoms. Not the end of the world.  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002531/

You can pick it up at the grocery store, at school, whatever.  To me, that's not a reason to not take visitation but if your husband is so incapable of caring for his progeny, then I guess I see your point.

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