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Birthday Parties...

Posted by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:29 AM
  • 72 Replies

My Sd's 3 birthday parties have all been well under par and on a declining slope. Her 3rd birthday party, it was like her Bm forgot until the day before. We all met at a park, Bm had taken Sd to the dollar store to pick out some toys and bought one of those plain chocolate cakes at Safeway. It was just...terrible. Although I am very thankful that My Husband, Dd and I were invited to her birthdays. 

So, I wanted to do a party for her also this year and planned on inviting Bm and her family. My Dh doesn't like the idea of having two parties because he doesn't want it to be a competition. (Which isn't my intention at all, I just want to give her a good party) So he's going to ask Bm if we can throw the party this year.

My question is: What are your opinions?

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:32 AM
1 mom liked this
She's 3.. do you really think she's going to care? You are taking the chance of starting a competition or hard feelings over something silly.
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illinoismommy83
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:36 AM
3 moms liked this

If she is turning 4 she is old enough to remember. Her 4th birthday should have a couple of friends and be somewhere fun. Just offer to throw the party every other year since you guys are supposed to be splitting parenting and expenses and all that for SD anyway.

My daughter remembers her 4th birthday. You don't have to go all out, but perhaps a couple of friends or neighbors or classmates at a chuck e cheese or bowling or skate place for a fun day out. *shrugs* If BM gets her panties in a bunch because SD had a good day, well, that is a her-problem. I think kids deserve nice birthdays.

meerkat101
by Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:41 AM
1 mom liked this
We do the party every other year.
Maybe you can try and get such an arrangement.
But I agree - do not have 2 parties for 1 birthday!!
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abigailsmommy11
by Kelli on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:41 AM


I think she'll care when she looks back at pictures...of which her mother doesn't even take any. I love her and want to give her a party as good as my Dd's.

Quoting amantonacci:

She's 3.. do you really think she's going to care? You are taking the chance of starting a competition or hard feelings over something silly.



MrsSufi
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:00 AM

Trust me if you can avoid the 2 of everything - IMO the kids are much better off.  I've even had relatives of bm send SD extra easter baskets.  I am always like you people are crazy, she is not getting more than 1 basket here. 

sid1083
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:09 AM

 I smell another competition brewing.

abigailsmommy11
by Kelli on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:27 AM

BUMP!

Dana333810
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:15 AM
1 mom liked this

Personally, we always have two parties for SS. He has one with his Momma and one with DH.

Today is SS's birthday!!!!!

His Mom is going out of town, idk where, but I know DH is getting him from school today. I'm making him a cake tonight, but having his actual party tomorrow. His Mom will be back Sunday, will pick him up and have her party.

Easy peasey chicken greasy!

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:26 AM

It sounds like BM isn't a big birthday person, but I would trust your DH's instincts on this one, it will seem like a competition. It sounds like BM is struggling financially, maybe your DH could assist with BM's birthday since you are all invited.

Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

USBrit
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 8:05 AM

Leave it alone, whether you think it is competition or not, IT will be in BM's eyes and she will probably NOT invite you in the future to her get togethers. Personally, I would rather have the two party plan, but not because one was not sufficient, but because I believe that children should get used to the idea that Mom and Dad are divorced and that there are now two families that she is a part of, not one big one. I believe that the one big family with original and new spouses tends to send a terrible message to children that divorce is okay and no big deal

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