What do you do with a mother in law who basically acted as BM to SS13? Think about it...it's like I spend every day with my SS's bio mom. His real mother was never involved with him.
I haven't said a word because I think it's more me having normal mother-back-to-work blues, but I am not feeling so comfortable with my mother in law. A few things bugging me: what do you think?
1. She's home all day with my 3 month old while I work. When 13 yr-old SS comes home, they bond with the baby together and sometimes she leaves him alone with her to get my 6 year old off the bus. When I get home all I hear is baby and SS this, baby and SS that. She pushes and pushes and pushes verbal emphasis on SS and baby bonding. All right already! We get it! He's her brother, now shut up!
2. She makes dinner with the SS for my husband and I and my kids --we don't get home until 5:30 pm or so. Dinner being ready is wonderful, however, she stays and often invites other family to my home to eat without my permission. Additionally, she gushes and gushes how SS and baby bonded and they made dinner and isn't SS so wonderful and blah blah blah. Over dinner, SHE holds my baby as if she's holding her socially captive. What the HELL? I haven't seen my baby ALL day! I have to all but take her from her so I can hold her. When she does hold her through dinner all you hear is, look...there's your brother. Look there's your brother. She is definiately trying to make a point that I don't quite understand. SS and I have a good relationship. I don't get it. I feel like she's trying to beat a dead horse.
3. My SS and I are taking things slow. He's 13 but he's been raised to be a hugger and a clingy little lad. I was not raised that way. I give him a light hug goodnite, but she apparently thinks I'm not being affectionate enough and has raised the issue with my husband (her son). I am NOT comfortable with a 13 year old SS canoodling with me on the couch. It's just icky. Doesn't seem quite right to me. She judges me for that. We've been a family for 8 months. Give me a break and some time!
4. I feel like my HH is being taken over. When I come home and it's her and MY 3 month old and 13 year old SS that she raised as her own, and dinner is on the table and I'm just walking through the door....it feels foreign to me. Like I don't belong there at my own house. It's odd.
I'm grateful that my daughter is with someone who adores her. But I'm feeling like the 3rd wheel. Last night when they all stayed to eat dinner, and she held my daughter the entire time, I got up and said I'm going for a walk. It was just all I could take. I had to get out.
She's staying again this evening to cut husband's hair. I'm almost thinking I don't want to arrive home until she's gone. i just can't take it much more. It's TOO much.
Last weekend, she was at my house everyday. My husband and his mom are CLOSE. I don't want to touch that with a 10 foot pole, but at the same time, this seems excessive to me!