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bm is engaged again

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:27 PM
  • 12 Replies
This is her 4th serious relationship since the divorce and 2nd engagement. She told sd ur going to have a new 2nd daddy. Dh wishes she wouldn't do that but I tell him its up to us to show sd family dynamics. The problem is every man that bm dates is first name daddy until she's engaged then they are just daddy.then they break up and she whines that she misses having more siblings and a 2nd daddy. If that's not bad enough this time bms boyfriend is also her stepbrother. Their parents married when they were mid 20s and they started dating last yr. They have broke up 3 times and everytime dh think of a way to explain this man that will never go away as still a good man but yet not her 2nd daddy and then they break up. My biggest issue is the man and her bio brother threated to kick dh ass because they say sd doesn't get enough disapline. I'm very worried about spring break visit because I don't know what's going to happen.
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by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:50 PM

Wow. DH needs to bring this issue with the 'daddy' name up with BM. Ask her if she would be okay with you being called 'mom'?

Explain that BM is still looking for that special someone and it takes some people more time to find them than others. I would explain to SD that some relationships take more work than others and sometimes it is too much work for the two people to handle.

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 10:00 PM
Sd does call me mom but she lives here sees mom once every couple of months and mom has agreed to it not being a big dealm I think dh bigger problem is she doesn't always marry these men and this one is bms stepbrother so he won't just disappear if they break up and he's threatened dh so its pretty bad if they stay together or if they break up.


Quoting SassyMom25:

Wow. DH needs to bring this issue with the 'daddy' name up with BM. Ask her if she would be okay with you being called 'mom'?

Explain that BM is still looking for that special someone and it takes some people more time to find them than others. I would explain to SD that some relationships take more work than others and sometimes it is too much work for the two people to handle.


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andie646c
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:24 PM

It's BM's stepbrother?

That's the part I can't get past.

Did they grow up together or is it a step-brother she gained once she was an adult?

Is her own parent ok with this?!?!

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:29 PM
Their parents got married when bm ws in her mid 20s I guess. Their parents are pretty happy about it I guess. I don't know many details other then he has a few kids he doesn't see much either.


Quoting andie646c:

It's BM's stepbrother?

That's the part I can't get past.

Did they grow up together or is it a step-brother she gained once she was an adult?

Is her own parent ok with this?!?!


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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow...

SD has had a lot of "uncles", she's starting to realize that BM doesn't have any brothers. It was pretty creepy when she'd walk around telling people, "BM is gonna marry uncle P." And then, "BM divorced uncle P and is gonna marry uncle J now."

Good luck with it all. 

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:56 PM
Bm has only one step brother and one bio brother. She's only been dating/engaged to her step brother.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Wow...

SD has had a lot of "uncles", she's starting to realize that BM doesn't have any brothers. It was pretty creepy when she'd walk around telling people, "BM is gonna marry uncle P." And then, "BM divorced uncle P and is gonna marry uncle J now."

Good luck with it all. 


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baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 12:28 AM

you are creating your own shit by even knowing about this....

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 12:55 AM
I'm not really sure how I mean bm v says this shit to us.


Quoting baparrot2:

you are creating your own shit by even knowing about this....


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Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 1:08 AM

you just gotta let it go.  In one ear and out the other.  Who cares what BM does?  She won't do that much damage to SD's value systems in the little amount of time she sees her.

Quoting mamaBerg85:

I'm not really sure how I mean bm v says this shit to us.


Quoting baparrot2:

you are creating your own shit by even knowing about this....



mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 1:30 AM

I'm not so much worried about messing up SD's values and DH is. I know that him and I are pretty much in control of that because she sees us more. I'm more worried about BM being engaged to her step brother because even if they break up they are still together SD still has to be around this man during visits. The same man that threated my husband to kick his ass and take my SD away because DH "doesn't know how to disapline the autism out of SD" Yes he said this while he was drunk but that doesn't mean he couldn't harm SD. I wish I could convince DH to do something about this. I'm not sure what exactly but I'm scared for SD to be around BMs boyfriend/step brother. I mean like physically scared not because it will mess up her morals but because I don't know what disapline the autism out of her means.


Quoting Polkadotted:

you just gotta let it go.  In one ear and out the other.  Who cares what BM does?  She won't do that much damage to SD's value systems in the little amount of time she sees her.

Quoting mamaBerg85:

I'm not really sure how I mean bm v says this shit to us.


Quoting baparrot2:

you are creating your own shit by even knowing about this....





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