My SS's have never had any use for me, period. Their BM made sure of that. I have been in their lives for 15 years now and the hate and name calling are as fresh as day one. I have raised the white flag because the stress on my marriage is overwhelming. I feel like such a failure, but know I did my best and tried to show them a great life. So what happens now? How are "family" functions handled with the in-laws when the SS's and their families are there? I mean why would I go to these functions knowing they don't consider me "family"? Has anyone else done this and how susccessful was this separation? I love my DH and want to be done discussing his kids/grandkids. Please understand his kids don't treat him with respect either but he continues to "try" with them. When we had custody of them I tried too, but don't feel I have to any more? I think 15 years of doing the right thing and trying to make a difference in their lives is enough?