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Bm has got something else coming if she....UPDATED

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:39 AM
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Thinks she is gonna ignore me for the rest of her life. She emailed me yest telling me not to email or text her anymore. Well, I do send her emails and texts from time to time and that is my only form of communicating with her. I need to let her know certain things like the fact that I had to put hydrocortisone on a rash, that the girls tell me she's bad mouthing me and asking her to stop, that the girls hair came all matted, that the 11 year old came with full makeup, lace panties and hot pants and I washed her face and threw out the clothes, to please stop telling them they are fat and will always be fat. Then there are things not involving sd's like to stop harassing my 14 year old on Facebook and Instagram, to stop talking to his family members about what was purchased on the baby registry. To stop having her bills billed to our home. These are all things I email to document for court. Look coparenting is what he court wants. I'ts like I told he when I emailed her. I'm a divorced mom, too. I have to swallow a lot as bm, but what's most important is the well being of my children. There's a lot of people I'd rather not deal with but I have to bc my children love them and hold them dear. I don't want to hurt my kids relationships. She should be glad that I care and do all I do for them. Things she refuses like intract with teachers who say she doesn't seem to care, their health and proper diet, we hande hw on a daily basis bc 1st grade and 5 th grade work in her opinion " is too much to handle (mind u, shes a teachers aide) and on and on. If there's something she needs to know, I will email it bashes needs to learn to coparent and that's that. The girls call me mom amd I'm gonna be there for the rest of their lives and she just needs to get over it and move on. Before you go on rampages, DH emails her and she ignores him too. It's been 3 years! Move on! 

Phonestly and seriously. Many of you are right even though I don't want to seem like I'm overstepping. I'm BM AND SM and I just wrote this when I was angry like most people do here. I'm adjusting. The first few years were ok. None of this drama started until I got pregnant. I'm sure there's more drama to go I'm absolutely sure of it. All this drama just came out of nowhere. Things were ok I thought. In the past she contacted me to tell me things like sd12 got her period and that they had colds and when they had lice, that they needednsocjs, etc and I always responded and informed her of things, too. Her and DH would talk as well. I wouldn't say we were friends but we communicated as far as the children. She would tell DH and tell me. Now like I said, since I got pregnant and had the baby, things went 180. But i guess I trusted a little too much that the situation would not turn into the nightmares I hear about and I got screwed. I won't be contacting her anymore in any way shape or form. 

by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:39 AM
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AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:43 AM
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That is not a big deal. Type up the emails, let your husband read it, and send it with his email account. You keep her informed and you still have proof of communication. 

My SD´s birth mother told my husband that I am not to communicate with her about anything regarding SD. I have never done that to begin with, but ok. She will try to change this "rule" whenever she sees fit but I will not compromise. It would end badly. 

thatislife
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:51 AM
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If I were her I would get the court order altered to say that you are not to contact me in anyway and block you from every form of communication possible.  If Dad is too incompetent to communicate important things to her then perhaps bm should have full custody.  Sounds like you just love to keep the pot stirred.  It is kind of sad that you need the validation of bm's attention. 

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:57 AM
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Yep, if you won't leave her alone when she asked I would take your dh to family court and put it in the co that you stop contacting me needlessly and if you continued after that I would press charges for harassment. Leave her alone and mind your own damn business.


Quoting thatislife:

If I were her I would get the court order altered to say that you are not to contact me in anyway and block you from every form of communication possible.  If Dad is too incompetent to communicate important things to her then perhaps bm should have full custody.  Sounds like you just love to keep the pot stirred.  It is kind of sad that you need the validation of bm's attention. 


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CodeBlue
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:58 AM
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I'm involved in my skids life and I have never needed to contact BM. I have her number in case of emergency - have never used it.
My DF is man enough to deal with her all by himself...
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HotMamaRosie
by Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:00 AM
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Quoting thatislife:

If I were her I would get the court order altered to say that you are not to contact me in anyway and block you from every form of communication possible.  If Dad is too incompetent to communicate important things to her then perhaps bm should have full custody.  Sounds like you just love to keep the pot stirred.  It is kind of sad that you need the validation of bm's attention. 

Wow.. No such thing. He does try to communicate by email but she ignores it so I tried. There's things she needs to know about the weekends and HW etc. I'm not telling her anything fucked up. Just that exzema flared up and I put cream on it. Etc. DH sends it to her too but my account had a read receipt option so I know she reads it. Coparenting is what the judge already said and that all communications are best by email, text or certified mail. She is the one that sends me harassing texts and called my job and told them I was a stripper and drug addict, stalked my kid on fb and on and on. I need to send her emails about that bc that's what th lawyer told me to do for court. I don't need he attention, I could care less. We just inform her. 

HotMamaRosie
by Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:01 AM
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Quoting CodeBlue:

I'm involved in my skids life and I have never needed to contact BM. I have her number in case of emergency - have never used it.
My DF is man enough to deal with her all by himself...

Great and DH does too but when it comes to harassing my dd I had to do it. It was crossing the line. So was calling my job. And other stuff that involved me personally. 

HotMamaRosie
by Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:04 AM

Well, a judge already answered that. Coparenting is what he said to do. It's not harassing if its information relayed about the kids. She is the one harrassing me. 

Quoting MommySabs:

Yep, if you won't leave her alone when she asked I would take your dh to family court and put it in the co that you stop contacting me needlessly and if you continued after that I would press charges for harassment. Leave her alone and mind your own damn business.


Quoting thatislife:

If I were her I would get the court order altered to say that you are not to contact me in anyway and block you from every form of communication possible.  If Dad is too incompetent to communicate important things to her then perhaps bm should have full custody.  Sounds like you just love to keep the pot stirred.  It is kind of sad that you need the validation of bm's attention. 



thatislife
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:08 AM
2 moms liked this

 

Nope, YOU don't NEED to call and tell her you just put cream on a rash.  What do you want a standing ovation? Coparenting attempts need to be between the parents.  Courts do not require read receipts from dad's wifes account to show an attempt at coparenting, he can just send the email and that is the proof, if he wants a read receipt he can add one free at getnotify or something like that. "bm, suzie q has a rash on her r leg, it seems to be responding well to hydrocortisone cream.  bd"   done deal.   You are not helping this situation and just bringing grief on everyone including your own child by poking the beehive.

Quoting HotMamaRosie:


Quoting thatislife:

If I were her I would get the court order altered to say that you are not to contact me in anyway and block you from every form of communication possible.  If Dad is too incompetent to communicate important things to her then perhaps bm should have full custody.  Sounds like you just love to keep the pot stirred.  It is kind of sad that you need the validation of bm's attention. 

Wow.. No such thing. He does try to communicate by email but she ignores it so I tried. There's things she needs to know about the weekends and HW etc. I'm not telling her anything fucked up. Just that exzema flared up and I put cream on it. Etc. DH sends it to her too but my account had a read receipt option so I know she reads it. Coparenting is what the judge already said and that all communications are best by email, text or certified mail. She is the one that sends me harassing texts and called my job and told them I was a stripper and drug addict, stalked my kid on fb and on and on. I need to send her emails about that bc that's what th lawyer told me to do for court. I don't need he attention, I could care less. We just inform her. 


 

alibrezzy154
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 6:18 AM
1 mom liked this
If she's not listening then fine. Document everything that's going on in a journal. Have Dh text or whatever form of communication works. But you should stay out of it. Let her talk all the crap she wants the bm I have to put up with did the same to me calling me a whore and everything under the sun. In the end its making her look like the bad guy. Don't get into it.
shanlee42
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 7:42 AM
I agree with these posts. I think all communication should be between BD and BM.

Coparenting is important but I'm certain the judge meant BM and BD, not BM, BD, SM and SD.

I have been in two very different stepparenting situations and the one where BM and BD did all the communicating was really the least stessful for me. I care for SS when he's here, do motherly things for him, and am a big part of his life but I leave the communication up to them.


Quoting MommySabs:

Yep, if you won't leave her alone when she asked I would take your dh to family court and put it in the co that you stop contacting me needlessly and if you continued after that I would press charges for harassment. Leave her alone and mind your own damn business.




Quoting thatislife:

If I were her I would get the court order altered to say that you are not to contact me in anyway and block you from every form of communication possible.  If Dad is too incompetent to communicate important things to her then perhaps bm should have full custody.  Sounds like you just love to keep the pot stirred.  It is kind of sad that you need the validation of bm's attention. 


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