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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Am I wrong here?

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:17 PM
  • 27 Replies

Ok, I'm a little cheesed off... A little background, my SO & I are engaged, I have 2 dd (5 & 15) and he has 2 dd (11 & 13). Saturdays are laundry day with a load here and there during the week... My SO decided he didn't like the hampers in the hall anymore, so the kids got to put hampers in their rooms (personally I hated the hampers in the hall too) When we made this change a new rule went in to effect, Friday nigh all hampers and dirty clothes come out & I will sort them for laundry. Last weekend, me oldes dd went to her dads and forgot to bring her hamper out so I decided to teach her a lesson, I didn't do her laundry.  His dd's were home and I told them I wasn't doing my dd's laundry because she didn't bring her hamper out, they thought it was fair... So when we got home Sunday and she saw her hamper in her room full of dirty clothes she was really upset... I explained why and she understood but wasn't happy... I did wash her clothes tho, it was e fright factor... I told all of them, if you don't bring your laundry out it won't get washed...  This is YOUR responsibility... Well his dd's went to their moms for the weekend, she picked them up from school Fri... Thursday night I made a point of asking both girls to bring out their laundry that night. Guess what? They both blew me off and ignored my suggestion... I am not doing their laundry.

But here is my problem, my SO is gonna be pissed... I do not want him doing their laundry either. I am so tired of telling all of the dd to do something and they either ignore me or blow me off... Enough is enough! Anytime I try to follow thru with a punishment he totally caves!!! All he is teaching them is I'm the bi*** and they don't have to do anything I say... He will get them out of it...  

Oh.. BTW... They can't do their own laundry... We have an old front load washer that has to be started in a special way... His rule... We can't afford a new washer right now... Plus there are 6 showers/baths to take Sunday night and we never know when they will be home on Sunday... 



*****Just to clarify, I yes, I'd did my dd' last time. And every other time his dd' didn't bring theirs out I did theirs and told them they forgot to bring it out. When I did my dd's last weekend, I told them all "This is the last time. If you don't bring your stuff out it won't get washed." Everyone agreed.  My point is I asked them to bring their stuff out Thursday. I made a point of  asking them individually "since you mom is picking you up at school Friday, please bring your clothes out tonight." Dad asked them to bring their stuff out also... We were both ignored... 


    by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:17 PM
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    Replies (1-10):
    raerae725
    by Silver Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:24 PM
    1 mom liked this
    You ended up washing the clothes for your 15 year old daughter the first time she forgot, but don't want the same done for the others?
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    MaebeBluth
    by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:24 PM

    So when your DD forgot, you did her laundry anyway, just wanted to scare her, but when his do it, they don't get their laundry done. Seems you are the one who caved and did your DD's laundry last time, why are you saying he is the one who caves?

    packermomof2
    by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:28 PM

    Does it really matter what you want where his kids are concerned? 

    You did your kids laundry, he can do his kids if he wants.  Don't like them ignoring your request?  Don't request it and let dad handle it.  Not that hard.

    spicy0425
    by Silver Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:30 PM

    You need to stick with the rule. Even though it is your own DD and I am sure you are entitled to helping out your own DD. However, your living situation is different and you have other kids who will share your life with. A little sticking to the rule will go very far. You don't make it out as you're playing favorism and you're the cause for further compare and then complain.  Besides, you just make your DD out to be the target of envy. Stick to the rule and treat the kids equal. 

    Huntermom77
    by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:41 PM

    Just to clarify, I yes, I'd did my dd' last time. And every other time his dd' didn't bring theirs out I did theirs and told them they forgot to bring it out. When I did my dd's last weekend, I told them all "This is the last time. If you don't bring your stuff out it won't get washed." Everyone agreed.  My point is I asked them to bring their stuff out Thursday. I made a Pinot of  asking them individually "since you mom is picking you up at school Friday, please bring your clothes out tonight." Dad asked them to bring their stuff out also... We were both ignored... 

    raerae725
    by Silver Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 1:55 PM
    I don't know how fair it is to the kids yours included to enforce you just won't wash it considering they aren't allowed to wash it. They have enough stuff to last them through the week? Plus double the laundry foot you next weekend kind of sucks. I wish kids just listened in the first place. :-P
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    packermomof2
    by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 2:36 PM

    If I don't agree with a rule my husband makes for my kids I tell him so and I do what I want.  If he felt I shouldn't wash my kids clothes because they didn't bring them out of their room I'd still wash them. 

    JustaSM231
    by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 2:44 PM
    When they come back and see their dirty clothes still in their bedroom, let it scare them and them have them sort their own laundry, them wash it like you did for your DD. use the same rules for the first offense with them as you did your DD.

    Then they can start sorting laundry and at least loading the washer and helping with the laundry.

    I do laundry twice a week. I make SDs 9 & 13 sort their laundry themselves. They also fold, hang, match socks, and put away. Your SDs and DDs both are old enough to do this and maybe it will help them remember to get their laundry out. If they still can't, make them do everything except start the washer/dryer.
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    leegirl_jm
    by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 3:01 PM

    If Dad wants to do his kids' laundry, let him, just make sure you aren't the one doing it.

    HeadKrobe8789
    by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 3:09 PM

    I'm not trying to be rude but the scare factor doesn't always work.  They may already have it in their heads that the laundry will get done regardless.  You should either talk to him and make sure the punishments stick or teach them how to use the washer and make them do it themselves.

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