Is it fair to have stepmother watching kids all the time? Need advice please!
Hi everyone! SO glad to have you all to tune into. It makes me feel less alone in thiscrazy world of stepmothering.
I have two SS, ages 8 and 9 1/2. My husband has full custody, the BM is a real treat and not really around much and basically does much more harm than good with the boys. My husband and I have been married going on 2 years. I do not have children of my own so coming into being a mom was pretty much overnight. It hasn't been easy. My SS's, although they like me, want their BM as would be expected for children their age. I cannot take her place nor do I try. I see myself as a second mom and show respect towards their real mom (even though she doesn't deserve that respect). They do have behavior problems due to the pain and feelings of rejection from their mother and we have them in counseling. The behavior issues really become apparent when I am watching them and their dad isn't around. My question for you all is this. Do you feel it's fair to have me be expected to watch the boys frequently or do you feel it's more his responsibility? I'm always good about putting myself in the other person's shoes and if it were my kids, I personally would feel they were my primary responsibility but I could ask him to help out once in a while. I know this doesn't compare what so ever, but I came into the marriage with 2 cats which are the closest thing I have to my own children and I don't ever ask him to take care of feeding them, changing litter boxes, vet visits, etc. The cats love him but I still feel like they are my responsibility. Some background information, I work although not as many hours as my husband but I definitely make up for it by my domestic responsibilites in which I do 85% of it all.
Any comments, words of wisdom, advice, etc is much appreciated. Thank you in advance!