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When sks call to say good nite to DH, do u say good nite to them, too? Do your bio kids say good nite? This started with us when sks started to ask for me and their siblings. Likewise when my dd's are with my ex, they say good nite to DH, and dd14 and dd11 txt frequently throughout the week.  Recently, sd11 started calling me in the mornings, every morning, when she's already at school just to chit chat buz she was bored and it's now an everyday thing. Bm seemed to have no problem with it, until I had the baby.  Now she hovers over every conversation she can. We can still talk freely in the mornings about stuff, silly stuff really, we just talk about a you tube video she wants me to see, her crush, what the teacher did to annoy her. And she tells me what DH says about the same situation.  I also get to talk to sd7 and we goof off. But last nite, she wouldn't talk to anyone bc bm was hovering.  When they are here, I ask them to go to their room to have conversations with bm. They need their privacy.  DH and I do the same with my ex. He hovers, too, btw. Bm is just worse. Anyone have any advice? 

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 4:52 AM
Replies (11-14):
paganmommy4
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:30 PM

They have no right to hover. 

Tryshx
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:03 PM

 We do it because of lies, recently a family friend tried to cause drama by saying SS was saying things that we know for a fact he didn't say because he was sitting next to us on speaker.  Also, BM can say some pretty hurtful things and DH wants to be able to take the phone away if she starts in on SS... and finally, because all the phone calls to and from BM's phone are recorded for court purposes (she was accusing us of refusing to let her talk to SS, so we started recording the calls and pulled the phone records to show how often she called in comparison to us calling) and the app I have requires the phone be on speaker for it to work. (on a side note I prefer him in sight when he has my phone, getting another one isn't an expense I want right now and he's a rough and tumble type of boy)

When he's older it'll change, but right now he's 5 and he doesn't care nor should anything important be kept from either parent... We all know and understand there will be things that he won't want to talk to his parents about as he ages and hopefully he'll have some other adult role models to talk to...

On a final note, the rule at BM's is the same, don't know her reasoning, but that's how it is in both houses.

Quoting HotMamaRosie:


Quoting Tryshx:

SS is 5 and all of his phone conversations take place right next to us on speaker phone (not just with BM but with his Papa and everyone else too). 


There's nothing you can do to change how she runs her home and what privacy she's allotted her children, her reasons may be unknown, or unfounded, but it's still her house, her rules.


I wouldn't let it bother me honestly, unless I had something to hide from BM.

Can I ask why.. I send dd4 to her room when my ex calls that way she can talk privately. Though she talks so loud I hear the convo anyway. 


Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:09 PM

When BM had custody BM and BM's mom would force SD to talk to DH on speaker phone and SD would get into trouble if she asked to talk to me or her siblings. Then DH had trouble getting a hold of SD for court ordered phone visitations, and BM's solution was to get SD a cell phone and try to get the judge to order DH to pay for it. That didn't work that BM had hoped as the judge told her it was ridiculous to get a child a cell phone and force the other parent to pay for it (SD was 5 when BM first got the cell phone).

SD was allowed to keep the phone in her room and DH and I started getting phone calls when SD was supposed to be in bed (10pm at night) and on the weekends when SD was forced to stay in her room until BM or BM's mom came to get her (she wasn't allowed to leave the room until they did). So, SD would get bored and call us. Her first phone was a pre-paid phone with a specific amount of minutes and SD blew through those in about 2 weeks calling us all the time.

As SD got older she started texting and calling us all the time.

DH now has custody and BM sent the cell phone home with SD. We have more rules than BM ever did. The cell phone gets "turned in" to DH at 8:30 every night and SD isn't allowed to call or text anyone but BM before homework is done.

BM takes SD once a month and when SD is there she calls and texts me all the time. She'll text DH to say good morning or good night, but I get at least 10 texts a day and at least one phone call. I don't know if it bothers BM or not. SD's phone is on her contract so she can definitely see who SD is calling and for how long. 

HotMamaRosie
by Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 2:00 AM


Quoting Tryshx:

 We do it because of lies, recently a family friend tried to cause drama by saying SS was saying things that we know for a fact he didn't say because he was sitting next to us on speaker.  Also, BM can say some pretty hurtful things and DH wants to be able to take the phone away if she starts in on SS... and finally, because all the phone calls to and from BM's phone are recorded for court purposes (she was accusing us of refusing to let her talk to SS, so we started recording the calls and pulled the phone records to show how often she called in comparison to us calling) and the app I have requires the phone be on speaker for it to work. (on a side note I prefer him in sight when he has my phone, getting another one isn't an expense I want right now and he's a rough and tumble type of boy)

When he's older it'll change, but right now he's 5 and he doesn't care nor should anything important be kept from either parent... We all know and understand there will be things that he won't want to talk to his parents about as he ages and hopefully he'll have some other adult role models to talk to...

On a final note, the rule at BM's is the same, don't know her reasoning, but that's how it is in both houses.

Quoting HotMamaRosie:


Quoting Tryshx:

SS is 5 and all of his phone conversations take place right next to us on speaker phone (not just with BM but with his Papa and everyone else too). 


There's nothing you can do to change how she runs her home and what privacy she's allotted her children, her reasons may be unknown, or unfounded, but it's still her house, her rules.


I wouldn't let it bother me honestly, unless I had something to hide from BM.

Can I ask why.. I send dd4 to her room when my ex calls that way she can talk privately. Though she talks so loud I hear the convo anyway. 


Wow! Totally get it. Good luck!

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