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Gender?

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:04 PM
  • 20 Replies
SD and DS both have activities that they ride an activity bus home from, but not on the same day. The stop is further than the regular bus stop. SD's day conflicts slightly with younger ds's baseball. DS walks home alone and has. SD just started an activity. BM and i both told Dh SD isn't allowed to walk home alone, nor should she be allowed to wait alone at the stop. One of is HAS to be there. He doesn't understand why not. SD is a year younger, but probably more mature. I am over thinking now. Does gender play a part in your rules? BM agreed with my decision it was ok for DS to walk. So this is totally gender biased.
I feel bad kinda. I remember saying i would never do the gender thing to my children. (I would still stock with bm's rules as SD isn't mine.) It makes me want to say that it is ok but I really don't feel comfortable with her walking home. Am i turning into my parents?

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by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
laughnchica
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:09 PM

How old are the kiddos?

Tryshx
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:11 PM

Possibly the uncomfortable feeling comes from the fact that this is a new routine for her, maybe you'll all relax after she's been doing it a while... Did you allow your DS to walk by himself the first day, or the first week?

Tryshx
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:12 PM

And how far is the stop?

Quoting laughnchica:

How old are the kiddos?


raerae725
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:14 PM
Will be 13 & 12 this week. DS started walking home himself last year. It really isn't that far, just residential areas. I am ok with SD walking home if there were others or DS walling too, but the other kids walk home the other direction.

Quoting laughnchica:

How old are the kiddos?

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raerae725
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:16 PM
It is less then a mile about 7 blocks. DS had a buddy when he first started walking home. SD wouldn't.

Quoting Tryshx:

Possibly the uncomfortable feeling comes from the fact that this is a new routine for her, maybe you'll all relax after she's been doing it a while... Did you allow your DS to walk by himself the first day, or the first week?

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raerae725
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:19 PM
Oh and i tend to be the one to be the most helicopterish. BM has an older boy that lives on his own so she has already been here once. Dh is very laid back. I am usually the only scaredy cat.
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laughnchica
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:20 PM

I don't know. I personally wouldn't EITHER one walking alone home but it is probably easier to potentially prey on a girl rather than a boy. I think the risk could be pretty similar. There are a lot of boys that can't defend themselves. I would feel better if both the kids wouldn't have to walk it. I can be paranoid though lol.

Tryshx
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:24 PM

Honestly, unless the neighborhood she's walking through is bad, I think the uneasiness will die down after a bit (for both you and BM possibly)... but right now it's a sparkley and shiney new situation, it's only natural to a bit worried at first I think... ((And in our sitch DH hovers, every bruise or cough he wants to take that child to the ER or the pediatrician... thankfully he's finally starting to relax)

Just make sure that if you do become more comfortable with it that BM feels the same... you know standard warning label applies and whatnot.

Quoting raerae725:

Oh and i tend to be the one to be the most helicopterish. BM has an older boy that lives on his own so she has already been here once. Dh is very laid back. I am usually the only scaredy cat.


raerae725
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:24 PM
Independence vs them being hurt is a huge battle for me. DS calls and talks to me about club usually on his way home. My biggest worry with these two at the moment is not letting my paranoia (not criticizing at all) get in the way of them growing up. I miss the days of worrying about whether they picked up the toy room.

Quoting laughnchica:

I don't know. I personally wouldn't EITHER one walking alone home but it is probably easier to potentially prey on a girl rather than a boy. I think the risk could be pretty similar. There are a lot of boys that can't defend themselves. I would feel better if both the kids wouldn't have to walk it. I can be paranoid though lol.

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laughnchica
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:27 PM

I understand totally. It clearly is a hard, fine line to walk especially when they get older. I would say sit down and talk with her about safety and strangers and just walking home and not doing anything else. It isn't TOO far so you should have a good idea about when she would be back at the house and you can check in. Or like do a couple days of walking alone and a couple where she gets a ride somehow? Have her carry a baseball bat? Lol

Quoting raerae725:

Independence vs them being hurt is a huge battle for me. DS calls and talks to me about club usually on his way home. My biggest worry with these two at the moment is not letting my paranoia (not criticizing at all) get in the way of them growing up. I miss the days of worrying about whether they picked up the toy room.

Quoting laughnchica:

I don't know. I personally wouldn't EITHER one walking alone home but it is probably easier to potentially prey on a girl rather than a boy. I think the risk could be pretty similar. There are a lot of boys that can't defend themselves. I would feel better if both the kids wouldn't have to walk it. I can be paranoid though lol.


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