Hello everyone - i am new to this, so excuse me for not using abbreviations (i am starting to get the jist of most of them, but get lost in the lingo from time to time)...i'll give you a little background on my situation and am completely open to any tips, suggestions, criticisms, etc. My husband and i got married this past October. i have been living in the house for about a year and a half (once engaged, i agreed to move in. i didn't think living together without a serious commitment was a good example for his 2 daughters) the BM is currently living (and has been since the divorce) with her boyfriend. I knew going in to this that the girls would give me a run for my money (they are 8 and 12) but for the most part they have been pretty good...here's my problem - i, apparently, was held to a different standard growing up. my parents were loving, kind and generous, but also strict and to be respected. not having any children of my own, but being extremely involved with many children (sister's, cousin's, best friend) i feel like i had a pretty good knack in dealing with children (and i LOVE kids). my husband was completely blindsided by the divorce, and i've been told that the 'punisher' in him was never quite developed - hence a consequence free zone has been established in the house. i held my tongue a LOT, but since we've been married the oldest seems to be getting more and more disrespectful to him...my argument is that if she doesn't respect/listen to him now, then we will BOTH be in BIG trouble once she gets in to her mid-late teens. shes a good student, but lack ANY sense of ambition or drive. she likes to read --- but we have had to put a max. TV time on the school nights (1 hour) and weekends that we have them (she literally watched about 16 hours of TV the last weekend she was here, and that was in between naps). the girls are not used to any chores, so we came up with simple things that they could do while they were here (put clothes away, clean bathroom, dust)...all minor chores for their ages (i think)...i literally just went and looked at the bathroom that the 12 year old was supposed to clean (i knew something was amiss when she was back downstairs in about 5 minutes declaring the deed done). there are undies on the floor --- hair in the sink --- make up on counter...as i sit here typing (after cleaning the kitchen and in between loads of laundry) they are all downstairs playing on the WII --- i have set out the cleaner and a rag and am waiting to pounce and punish (no TV tonight!) -- does this sound too harsh?