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Convo with My Step Dad

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:19 AM
  • 13 Replies
1 mom liked this

Yesterday my stepdad came to me and asked me why my daughter wasnt in religion. She should be making her communion, but I never put her in. Im not religious at all, even though the rest of my family is...ESPECIALLY my stepdad. 

He asked my to please please please put her in. He said that in the 20 years he has known me, he has never said no to me for anything and would I please just do this one thing for him. I said yes, partly for him and partly because my daughter wants to go. 

He went on to tell me that he would pay for everything and do everything surrounding it. He would throw her a kick ass communion party and buy her the most beautiful white dress. Anything she wants, he will give to her. 

Then he said that when my sister and I were younger, there were so many things he wanted for us but could never do because he never had a say in anything. And he never tried to. Now that we have kids and he is Papa (no first name, not a "step" to them), he wants to give them what he couldnt give to us. 

Even as a stepmom now, I never really thought about his step journey. Our convo made me realize that we have a lot in common. Mostly, that we foot the bill for a lot, but really have no say in what goes on. And how stressful that can be sometimes. 

Does anybody else ever feel this way? Its not something I think about on a daily basis, or often at all really. But my convo with him last night made me wonder how common this is.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
grownsexy
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:23 AM

It is very common, I fit the bill for my sd it did not bother me at the time. She is grown now and so resentful and disrespectful I feel like I don't know her anymore. When you are a step parent the you are not the parent card can be used at anytime. When you marry a person with children you do assume some responsiblity. I know how he felt, it is nice to know that he wants to do for your kids because some poeple would have backed out of that. He sounds like a good man.

I hope that your dd have a great communion and party. I know that her papa would make sure that she enjoys the event. I did not have a grandpa to spoil me. Let him enjoy the kids. Good luck to you.

LovingMy2x4
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:40 AM

Is it "fit the bill"? Did I use that expression wrong?! LOL

He is a good man. And she was his first grandchild. She has him wrapped around his finger! He is actually going to start giving her at-home lessons so that she can catch up to her age group. 


Quoting grownsexy:

It is very common, I fit the bill for my sd it did not bother me at the time. She is grown now and so resentful and disrespectful I feel like I don't know her anymore. When you are a step parent the you are not the parent card can be used at anytime. When you marry a person with children you do assume some responsiblity. I know how he felt, it is nice to know that he wants to do for your kids because some poeple would have backed out of that. He sounds like a good man.

I hope that your dd have a great communion and party. I know that her papa would make sure that she enjoys the event. I did not have a grandpa to spoil me. Let him enjoy the kids. Good luck to you.


Lslk
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:03 PM

My SO feels this way with my kids. He wants to do a lot more things with them and for them but he doesn't because he doesn't want to overstep with BD.

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:17 PM
1 mom liked this

 What a fantastic Papa! 

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:43 PM
This is the same with my DH.


Quoting Lslk:

My SO feels this way with my kids. He wants to do a lot more things with them and for them but he doesn't because he doesn't want to overstep with BD.


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DDDaysh
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:00 PM

 lol..  I've never heard people in other places call it "Religion"

Isn't it a little late to put her in right now?  Don't most places do First Communion around easter? 

LovingMy2x4
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:13 PM

Yes, they call it religion class here. So when they go to class, they go to religion. 

Im going to have her home-schooled to catch up. Which I never knew you could do until yesterday. My step dad is actually going to be the one who does it. She wont be ready this year, hopefully next year she can do it. She'll be a year behind.

And Im already starting to party plan LOL thats where my head is ;)

Quoting DDDaysh:

 lol..  I've never heard people in other places call it "Religion"

Isn't it a little late to put her in right now?  Don't most places do First Communion around easter? 


DDDaysh
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:15 PM

 That's funny.  We went to "religion" in my hometown too, but everywhere else people call it Cathechism or CCD or Sunday School. 

Quoting LovingMy2x4:

Yes, they call it religion class here. So when they go to class, they go to religion. 

Im going to have her home-schooled to catch up. Which I never knew you could do until yesterday. My step dad is actually going to be the one who does it. She wont be ready this year, hopefully next year she can do it. She'll be a year behind.

And Im already starting to party plan LOL thats where my head is ;)

Quoting DDDaysh:

 lol..  I've never heard people in other places call it "Religion"

Isn't it a little late to put her in right now?  Don't most places do First Communion around easter? 


 

LovingMy2x4
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:17 PM

Sunday School! I always wondered what that was haha Now I know!!

Quoting DDDaysh:

 That's funny.  We went to "religion" in my hometown too, but everywhere else people call it Cathechism or CCD or Sunday School. 

Quoting LovingMy2x4:

Yes, they call it religion class here. So when they go to class, they go to religion. 

Im going to have her home-schooled to catch up. Which I never knew you could do until yesterday. My step dad is actually going to be the one who does it. She wont be ready this year, hopefully next year she can do it. She'll be a year behind.

And Im already starting to party plan LOL thats where my head is ;)

Quoting DDDaysh:

 lol..  I've never heard people in other places call it "Religion"

Isn't it a little late to put her in right now?  Don't most places do First Communion around easter? 


 


BellaByrdie
by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:16 PM

I realize now that I had a VERY different relationship with my "step" Dad.     He was My DADDY.   He came into my life when I was a baby.  He was all I ever knew really.  he WAS my dad.  And acted like it.  He not only PLAYED the parent card.  He OWNED that mug.  He had full say in my life.  I buried my biofather when I was 20 I felt sad and had some regrets and month later I buried my Daddy.  It was DEVASTATING to loose him. 

With my step-daughter there is no say at all.  She loves me and at one time wanted to call me mom.  ( I said no because I knew her mother would trip) But we still have no say really. 

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