If you're like me, and I'd venture to say that you ARE (you're with a new man who has kids, possibly divorced with kids, your wheels are constantly spinning, you struggle with the whole BM/DH/SK circus and your mind can be in a million places at once. Right?
I wonder what type of BM I had been to my DS's SM. He's grown now, but I find myself in her shoes now and often wonder if I were the impossible, irrational, controlling, fickle BM that I'm dealing with now.
Its so easy to judge and be self-righteous and throw BM under the bus. BUT ladies, we must remember, our dear men CHOSE this woman at one point in his life for whatever reason. He had a child(ren) with her and built a life with her (or at least tried). Is she really THAT bad, or is she like us, who is left to pick up the pieces from a failed relationship, thrown into single-motherhood, now here YOU come and she has to adjust again?!?!?!? In my sitch, I know that BM is an alcoholic, works 3 jobs which is why SD lived DH all-but-1-year of her life, loose with men and "medicated." No seriously, she told me this with her OWN mouth. Granted, she was sloppy drunk when she told me, but that's besides the point! However, she really is a nice, funny, pretty, smart woman. I'm secure enough to admit that I see why DH was attracted to her at one time.
UNmask with me and admit to a time where you were the dreaded BM, whether it was intentional or not. I'll start:
My DS was going to a new school in his Dad's district and I knew that his SM was taking him and his sister in for registration. I called ahead and gave the school ALL of my information, his records etc. I handled everything except for walking him in the door. At the time, I was working for an impossible boss and his SM worked nights, so we swapped daily. When I got off, I'd get the kids off the bus, at home, fed etc. while she rested and got ready for her overnight shift. When my EX got off, he'd come and get their kids and leave our son with me. This was our daily routine...until they moved to a better school district than mine.
Well, when she got to the school, they refused to let her enroll my son because she wasn't me (2 different racial backgrounds - they CLEARLY knew my kid was NOT hers, lol). I mean, they really caused a scene - calling me and EX at work - faxing affadavits for us to sign - calling the cops etc! They claimed that too many parents were fraudently enrolling their kids in that district for its stellar reputation and whatnot. I was BEYOND livid and told them as much! Well, neither kid went to school for the next 2 days until I could prove that his Dad hadn't kidnapped my son and ran off with him. Lol!
Since his sister didn't want to start a new school without her "big" brother, she wound up missing school too. I felt SO BAD, but I truly didn't intend for all of that drama to occur! I called myself helping to make things go smoothly for my son and his SM! I'm sure I was the dreaded BM bitch that day! Lol.
Besides that, I can't remember a time when I totally unnerved them in any way. How about you?