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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Im the mean one

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 3:03 PM
  • 6 Replies

Lets pint this picture. *i* had 2 dogs, that i took care of prior to ss13 coming to live with us. when husband lost his job it pretty much became his responsibility to feed the dogs because im gone more often than im home because of my hours. 

SS came to live with us got a puppy they asked me if it was ok, mind you dh let him pick out the dog bought it all sorts of stuff and if i said no they had to go return everything. i got to be the bad guy basically. I said yes under the condition he takes care of it he feeds it walks it and plays with it. that was all outlined. and it was made very very clear every day you have to take it for a walk the only exception is during football when it was homework and practice, I took it for the walk.

I would go to clean up the backyard, never once asked that ss clean up after his dog because i had two and i was going to be doing it anyways. Well dh said NO don't do it ss is getting paid to feed the dogs and clean the backyard once a week. Ok so we are now on like 7 months of him getting paid. this is my issue that i have taken up with dh and dh thinks im just this horrible person for expecting what i expect.

First off i expect the dogs to be fed. not whenever he remembers not when i get home for work at night and i go and do it i mean at 7 when they have ALWAYS been fed. 7 at night. they have to be seperated because his dog, ss dog, attacks the others for food (its still a puppy and we are working on this and no its not because they don't get enough food this dog eats untill it throws up and then eats again). Cleaning the back yard on sat he racks up the dog poo into piles....thats it. just piles he doesn't pick them up like he is suppose to i have mentioned this to dh and hes like well excuse excuse excuse. the dog hasn't been walked by ss or played with in over a month we had to buy a kennel because the dog is out of controll.

So today i cleaned it up disprooved all his excuses made sure the dogs were fed walked the damn dogs. dh gets up and tells me that he talked to ss and he has 2 weeks to start walking/playing witht he dog or else he takes it to the pound. I said its not fair to that dog you need to just make him follow through instead of letting him half ass everything like he does when he cleans the backyard. He tells me well why don't you start cleaning it i laughed and said wel. are you going to pay me whether or not i do it. now hes pissed that i should be paying ss more money to clean up after my now 1 dog even though i buy the clothes the extras the everything because im the only one working. If he did his chores i don't mind paying but he doesn't am i crazy?

I don't talk to ss about any of this its dh's job to handle it just curious

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 3:03 PM
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Replies (1-6):
SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 3:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I would probably say no more paying. SS can keep care of his dog and you will take care of yours, period. I would remind DH that you are the one paying for everything and that he and SS should at least do their share around the house to make up for not having any income.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 4:44 PM
If I was the only one workin, I'd expect them to almost everything in regards to housework. I'd clean up after myself and pitch in but it would be their job for the most part.



If I was sahm id be the same... I wouldn't put up w him throwing shit around but id do most of the housework.
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annabl1970
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 4:51 PM
If he can't make his son to do it, he should do if himself. It's not fair at all: you are the one who works, you support them, and on top of it you have to pay for simple house choirs as feeding dogs? It's time to poot your foot down!
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XXXLmommy
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:32 PM

Maybe it would feel fair to everyone if you took turns cleaning up the yard?

I think the 2 weeks to start taking care of the dog is a fantastic idea. If the dog isn't being cared for then it needs to go to a different home. If your ss has to be hounded every second to do anything how will he ever learn how to do anything for himself?

And I certainly wouldn't be paying him for cleaning up poop since he lives there too and even if he didn't have a dog, he is part of the team. You work, he cleans up poop. Everyone in a home or family should contribute.

tazlover01
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 6:02 PM

You are paid for what you do outside of what is normally expected of you. He should be expected to feed and clean up behind his dog at least. And then the other dog should be cared for by him because you don't do for one and not the other. He and your husband got the dog then they should figure it out. But he wouldn't be paid with any money that I made because he hasn't done anything to earn it. It does suck that their is even an option to put the dog in a shelter. But it's that or you do all the cleaning and stop complaining.

cruelella2to
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:23 AM


I'm not complaining because im the one doing it im complaining because dh truely believes ss deserves more money for doing nothing or half assing it. I am a firm believer that it is a family unit you contribute i buy things outside of neccessities because you contribute to the house. however that is not my child therefore i do not force my ways on dh, tried it it back fired learned from it moved on.

I am a dog lover and know that if this dog goes to the shelter in any of the areas around us it has 7 days and then will be put down it is a large dog that jumps on people the likelyhood of it being adopted out are pretty slim. I honestly don't mind walking the dog either. but like i said its the principle of ss being paid for a job that he is not completing or only half ways completing. if I only fed him, or my own child for that matter, every other day or when it was convient for me I wouldn't get rewards for it.

I guess more or less i was wanting to know if my way or thinking or how im planning on raising dh and mines kids is off the wall crazy or if dh is being unresonsable, which he tends to be. lol

Also didn't mean to go off some rant got to typing and don't feel like retyping so im leaving it in a response to you :)

Quoting tazlover01:

You are paid for what you do outside of what is normally expected of you. He should be expected to feed and clean up behind his dog at least. And then the other dog should be cared for by him because you don't do for one and not the other. He and your husband got the dog then they should figure it out. But he wouldn't be paid with any money that I made because he hasn't done anything to earn it. It does suck that their is even an option to put the dog in a shelter. But it's that or you do all the cleaning and stop complaining.



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