Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Unhappy in a new marriage because of his boys

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:05 PM
  • 69 Replies

 

 

I am newly remarried and I am having a hard time with his boys coming to live with us every other week for the full week.  I just can't get over the difference and the anxiety right before they come back.  I am so unhappy and don't know what to do.  This is not what I had expected.  Please advise?

by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
twinklebites
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:10 PM
1 mom liked this

What interaction did you have with the boys previous to getting married? what about them coming makes you anxious? How old are they ? do you have kids of your own? In short I need more info.

 

kristinbugg
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:15 PM

Did you not know that he had children and was active in their lives before you married this man?

unhappy1968
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:17 PM

Yes, but I really thought they way his bad divorce went and that he travels so much, that his crazy x-wife would fight for full custody of the boys.  I was sooooo wrong.  I guess she needs her break from them too.

Tracylynn100
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:22 PM

How old are they?

unhappy1968
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:23 PM

It's like a crazy zoo once they hit our house on friday night.....I hate to come home from work and see them all in the kitchen.  I feel like a prisioner in my own house or that I am sharing a frat house with all these boys.  I cry to my husband and tell him how unhappy I am, but he just doesn't understand.  I have even contacted their mother to try and understand them and their backgrounds, and the meeting went well, but even she says she need a break from them.  I dread every week they come back  I have to cover up all my furniture with blankets and cover my table or it would be ruined.  I taught my kids to take care of property and things, but these boys came from a life of...wreck it they will just buy new.

LovingMy2x4
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:24 PM

From what you say, it sounds like very poor parenting on DH and BMs part. There isnt much you can do to change things. How old are the boys? 

twinklebites
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Soooo you were hoping they wouldn't be around? did I read that right ? Boys are rambunctious I think you need some counseling to change you view/expectations of you life with these boys.

Quoting unhappy1968:

Yes, but I really thought they way his bad divorce went and that he travels so much, that his crazy x-wife would fight for full custody of the boys.  I was sooooo wrong.  I guess she needs her break from them too.


 

unhappy1968
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:28 PM

14,16,17  just turning....I have a son that will be 15.  I am the only girl in the house and I want to run for the hills when they are all there.  I just lock myself in my room when they come and leave alot to find things to do.  It's like living in a hotel.  I do not feel at home when they are home.

mommadana
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like you wanted a man without kids and married a man with kids and thought he would just walk away from them?  I'm wondering if you wanted to be a parent because that's what kids do.  Now if you want to scotch guard your furniture and your carpet, that will keep it stain resistant.  Also, you and DH might want to lay down some rules about THEM cleaning up after themselves.  Even a 4 year old can pick up their toys and clothes off the floor.  If you were unrealistic about this marriage, then he has the grounds for an annullment as you were fully aware and you changed the ballgame on him without asking him.

unhappy1968
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:30 PM

I have gone to counseling several times, alone and with my husband.  He told me several time at my wishes I wanted the boys to be there too, because that way they can see what is all bothering me etc and try to work on some things. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)