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A sit down with BM...

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:22 PM
  • 11 Replies

So, we've recently been having problems with what Sd is supposed to call everyone. Bm has started making Sd (3.5) call her Daddy (my Dh) "Father", even though she's always called him Daddy. Bm makes Sd call Bm's Df, "Daddy". Bm also tells her she doesn't have to call me "Mommy", (she's called me Mommy since she started talking). 

When Sd started telling us all of this, we told her that she can call me whatever she wants (she continues to call me Mommy). We told her that her Daddy is her Daddy and that she can call Bm's Df whatever she wants to call him.

Now Bm wants to have a sit down, all 4 of us (Bm, her Df, my Dh and me). We've never done this before and Dh told me not to talk during it because legally I have no say in anything. 

How am I supposed to keep my mouth shut when Bm and her Df start talking shit about me? I know my Dh will stand up for me but it's going to be SO HARD! 

*sigh* not looking forward to this...

by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:26 PM
Errr.... Good luck with the meeting! That stresses me out just thinking about it. :(
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luckystars2012
by Platinum Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Her DF is allowed to talk, but you aren't? If that's the case than this "sit down" needs to be bm.and bf only.
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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:35 PM

 i think that she should not call her moms df daddy or you mommy. that seems confusing. maybe find a nick name for her to call you and her moms df.

abigailsmommy11
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:38 PM

That's what Dh wants but he can't control her. She wants it to be all 4 of us and of the 4 of us he only has control over him and me. I know if anything is said to piss him off that he can definitely take control of the situation, it's just going to be really stressful. Dh asks for my opinion on all things, so my voice will be heard, it will just be heard through him. :(


Quoting luckystars2012:

Her DF is allowed to talk, but you aren't? If that's the case than this "sit down" needs to be bm.and bf only.



abigailsmommy11
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:44 PM

It wasn't confusing for her until Bm started all this crap. Sd would just call me "Mommy_____" at Bm's house and called Df "Daddy______" at our house. But now she's all confused =[  I would have no problem coming up with a nickname if she stops making Sd call Df "Daddy" and Dh "Father". So, it's kind of up to Bm to grow up and compromise.

Quoting faerie75:

 i think that she should not call her moms df daddy or you mommy. that seems confusing. maybe find a nick name for her to call you and her moms df.



kristinbugg
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Stop allowing the child to call anyone but her BPs "Mommy" or "Daddy".  Problem solved.

abigailsmommy11
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:47 PM

I would be fine with that if Bm would agree. It will be brought up at this meeting, but I highly doubt she'll agree.


Quoting kristinbugg:

Stop allowing the child to call anyone but her BPs "Mommy" or "Daddy".  Problem solved.



Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:59 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting kristinbugg:

Stop allowing the child to call anyone but her BPs "Mommy" or "Daddy".  Problem solved.

easier said then done when 1 parent is pushing the child to call the step parent mom or dad

E_is_4_Ethan
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 4:26 PM

She shouldn't call you mommy. You're not her mommy.

You guys can only fix what is happening in your home. 

DH can tell BM how he feels about being called father. 

luckystars2012
by Platinum Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 4:27 PM
Your dh is failing you here. He is wrong to expect you to go to a meeting like this and expect you to been seen and not heard, esp where he knows sf won't be following suit.. basically the three of them will be discussing parenting issues whole you'll be sitting with.virtual.tape on your mouth.

It should be all 4,.or just the bios

It's nice that you say he will speak up for you but he can't read your mind so it's not like he reAlly canspeak up for you.




Quoting abigailsmommy11:

That's what Dh wants but he can't control her. She wants it to be all 4 of us and of the 4 of us he only has control over him and me. I know if anything is said to piss him off that he can definitely take control of the situation, it's just going to be really stressful. Dh asks for my opinion on all things, so my voice will be heard, it will just be heard through him. :(



Quoting luckystars2012:

Her DF is allowed to talk, but you aren't? If that's the case than this "sit down" needs to be bm.and bf only.





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